Vesper
by dapixam-q
Summary: E/B, AU. The Cullens stayed in Alaska for 3 years more than in the books and Bella finished her junior year in Forks without Edward. How will she deal with her inevitable feelings for him when she's already dating Jacob and mostly happy with her life?
1. Chapter 1: First Sight

Disclaiming: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Huge thanks to betas Amelie and Janelle. I appreciate your time and effort so much. Also thanks to Jenn and Sam who gave endless support and inspiration through writing this.

* * *

_Two steps from her window_

_he tugged at the hairs of his coat_

_and whispered into the icy crags: "Sleep, little one,_

_I'll be an avalanche when I come back!"_

"In Memory of the Demon," Boris Pasternak

_April 2005_

The night the hospital threw a thirty-seventh birthday party for Carlisle, he announced they were going to move. Everyone knew it was coming and Edward was relieved it was during a year he acted as a junior. They would transfer his files to the new school and he would have only one more year of torture. After that, he had six years of supposed college and graduate school: freedom. Had it been one year later (or three years earlier), Carlisle would have insisted he and Alice start as freshman again. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got seven years off in the deal, but Edward wasn't jealous.

"No," Carlisle said later. "Emmett gets a break. Rosalie and Jasper are juniors."

"What?" Rosalie shrieked. "No one will believe I'm younger than Alice."

"Of course they will," said Esme, smiling. "No one will believe Emmett is younger than Edward." Edward laughed out loud. He wasn't jealous, but he was a little petty.

Everyone was ready for a change, so they decided on western Washington. Carlisle and Esme took a week in April to look at towns first – if all went well, they would live there the longest and deserved first say. They found Forks on Friday and called the rest of them to see the little town.

"I made a treaty at the Indian reservation fifteen miles from here, many years ago," Carlisle told them. "Do you remember, Edward? I liked this town then and I like it now."

"The hospital is looking to hire out for a new chief of medicine," Esme said. "And there's a piece of property a ways out of town that's been on the market for almost four years with this _house_—" Edward searched her mind for an image and saw a white Victorian surrounded by pale green grass, old growth trees, a river. There was an outbuilding big enough for all their cars. They had been living metropolitan for the past five years and it was clear Esme was excited for something different. Forks was ideal.

As they walked down the main road, Edward considered offering to start as a freshman after all. Why not set it up to stay as long as possible? He was ready to say so when Alice gasped. Jasper put his arm around her and they waited. "I don't—" she started. "I don't understand it. There's a group here and they—they're hunting."

Edward looked in Alice's mind, saw still frame images of three vampires attacking a man in a fishing boat, a young girl running through trees.

This wasn't unusual. That's what most of their kind did, hunted humans, but Alice looked worried. "They're not staying long," Edward said. This other group shouldn't make things difficult for them.

"No, but—I don't understand. They're hunting—someone important. She's—I don't know why she's important. Will you look for the leader's mind, Edward? His name is James." Edward frowned; it was a very common name. Alice closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "He's with a Laurent."

Emmett nudged them forward. "Come on, let's get a table at the coffee shop."

Yes, that would be less inconspicuous than standing broodingly in the middle of the sidewalk. They sat down at an old, blue linoleum table and chairs and Carlisle ordered a round of coffee for all. The waitress dizzily left them alone.

Edward searched the area's minds for "Laurent" and quickly found the group from Alice's vision. James was definitely hunting a girl, fantasizing about what he'd do to her—Edward pulled away with an image of soft brown hair and bloody scalp being pulled away from a pretty, heart-shaped face. "He's vicious," Edward said quietly.

"Maybe we should look for the girl," Alice said, tearing open a packet of sweetener, pouring it into her coffee mug, and adding the packet to a short, pink pile.

"Why help the little thing?" Rosalie said. "How about we just leave and settle things here once they've gone?"

Carlisle was studying Edward's face. Edward didn't know what his expression might be saying, but he felt the same as Alice, that this was important. Somehow. "We'll find the girl," he said. "We'll see what we can do for her."

"Maybe we can just hide her for a while," Emmett said in a soothing voice for Rosalie.

"He's a tracker," Edward said. "We can't let them know we're here."

"We'll use our utmost stealth," Alice said, stirring her coffee briskly.

Esme dropped a twenty-dollar bill on the table and they left. Sitting in her room with Jasper at a bed and breakfast, Alice searched for the girl's name. Edward paced the room while he waited. There were times – like this – that minutes truly felt like minutes, not seconds in the great scheme of his life.

"Bella," Alice said, at last. "Isabella Swan."

But Edward wasn't listening. He was searching through minds, like flipping channels with a remote, he'd once explained to Jasper, for the name Bella. Several children were thinking of her, one boy quite vividly although Edward was sure she'd never worn _that_ to school, and then he found the best mind, the mind speaking with her: a boy at the Indian reservation. He was sitting on a dusty floor of a makeshift garage, next to a trashed Volkswagen Rabbit and the girl from James's mind, although less bloody, more smiley.

"_Want to stay for dinner?"_ Edward heard him ask her._ Ugh, don't be desperate. Just because you're dating doesn't mean you have to be together every second—ha! She wants me to come over. Ha, ha, dating. Dating!_

"She's with her boyfriend in La Push," Edward told his family. "They'll be at her house in a little while."

He went back into the boy's mind and then tried to skip over to Bella's, check if she had been sensing any trouble. But he couldn't. Again, he watched her from the boy's eyes and then _jumped_, but—nothing. It was like flying into a wall. What was wrong with him? He didn't feel fine, he felt agitated, but he had before this unsuccessful jump.

"Let's go," he said and stood up.

"And what?" said Rosalie. "Tell her a vampire's after her and we need to keep her in a closet for a few days."

"A closet wouldn't be enough." Edward slid into the front seat of one of the rental cars and started the car. Rosalie could pout all she wished, this was happening. He didn't question why. He feared he didn't have time.

It took ten minutes to find Charlie Swan's mind and then find his house. They parked three blocks away, then doubled back and hid amongst the trees in the surrounding forest. Bella and the boy hadn't arrived yet, so Edward went back into the boy's mind, then into the mind of the boy's father, their neighbors down the road. It was getting dark now and the two children were illuminated mostly by a bare, hanging light bulb. The boy – Jacob, he finally heard her call him – was underneath the Rabbit now, Bella sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, watching him work and laughing.

He listened to Jacob's chatter as he and Bella cleaned up and crawled to her house in a wretched old truck.

As they drove up and left the car, Rosalie thought _Why her?_ and then hissed aloud, "Why her?" Emmett was the only one who responded, straddling her from behind, covering her mouth with his hand and giving her a hard kiss on her head.

A cold wind blew and Edward caught scent of—"What _is_ that?"

"What?" Jasper said. "Stream water, beef and potatoes, blood from the neighborhood—"

"Blood." He gurgled slightly around the excess venom in his mouth. Then he smelled more carefully. "_Her_ blood. God, of course James wants her."

It was the most perfect blood he had ever encountered.

"It's just blood, Edward," Emmett said slowly. "Human blood. Man, you hunted last night."

Edward was lost. His family was gone, the boy was gone, that tinkertoy little house was gone, the trees, the dirt, the air, were gone. It was just Edward and the human. Lion and lamb. Predator and prey.

How could such a scent be real? How could he have survived without that blood enclosing every sense, filling his body, filling his soul?

She was with too many people now, but she would be alone sometime tomorrow, wouldn't she? He looked around – no close neighbors to hear her scream, miles of wood around the house to hide the body. He could bite her on her bed, lay her on her pillows, surrounded by her scent.

"Edward!" he heard vaguely, everyone thinking and saying his name at once, he realized later. "Stop breathing!"

Breathing. Stop. He did and his mind began to clear. He waited a few moments to let rational sense take over again and then said, "It's the sweetest smell I've ever—it wasn't like that for any of you?" Edward looked around at six worried faces. He scratched his hands through his hair. "What is going _on_?"

"This is very strange," Carlisle murmured.

"We don't need to be here," Alice said. For a moment, he thought she meant they should give up on saving the girl and his mind reacted violently, almost forcing him forwards, to grab Bella and snatch her away now, before anyone could stop him. _So you can get to her luscious blood first_, a dark part of his mind whispered—no. It was more than that. But Alice continued, "We should be following James's mind. We'll just follow him when he's going to attack Bella and… stop him."

Something within him wanted to stay, to follow her to her bedroom, to watch her sleep, but he knew that was a very bad idea, so he forced himself to stand and run back to the car, focused on each rapid step forward.

"Why don't we just go after them now?" Emmett said.

Edward agreed, but Carlisle said, "They'll be most off guard when this James attacks Bella. They'll feel invincible when their only opponent is a human."

Back at the bed and breakfast, Edward lay on the shiny, purple, floral print bed and tried to stay in James's mind, but it was too graphic to sustain. He and his mate were passing the night in woods some miles away, enjoying one another and fantasies of Bella's death. Instead, Edward made visits every five minutes to check that he didn't make an sudden deviations from what Alice saw in the future. What to do with the rest of those five minutes, though, there was the rub.

He was fixated on Bella. If his id had its way, he would be enjoying fantasies just as vivid as James's, but he wouldn't allow it. So instead he was thinking of her face, her full mouth, her vibrant brown eyes, her heavy laugh. It was an effort to see her as a person, not as a lovely blood carrier, but instead he was turning her into another kind of object, like the teenage boys he'd found earlier. He'd have to meet her, talk to her, to stop that.

He sat up and looked at Alice. "Is he still planning for tomorrow?"

"Yes. We'd better hope Bella and her friends still want to go when it's as cloudy as it's going to be."

"They will." Edward discovered that several of Bella's friends considered tomorrow's trip to Olympic National Park essential to their courtship of other children, so he was confident it would happen if a hurricane approached. "I'm going for a walk."

"Watch yourself," said Jasper. Edward closed the door without response and ran back to her house. Stalking Bella and staring at her in sleep was not quite meeting and talking to her, but perhaps it would help.

Of course it didn't. Her window was open a few inches to the night breeze and he caught a hint of her scent. Right. No breathing. He was pleased it was Bella's scent alone, at least. He hadn't considered until then that the boy Jacob might be with her. He'd have—well, nothing, probably. He'd have been very annoyed. He ran a few yards away and took a deep breath in the juniper trees – disgusting – and ran back and swiftly up to her window.

It was a barren room, devoid of posters or picture frames or magazines, even clothes, more like an untidy guest room than the nest of a teenager. She was peaceful in sleep, curved on her side like a baby in the womb, until—she started whimpering. Without thought, Edward opened the window silently and went to her bedside, careful not to breathe or even open his mouth.

She was having a nightmare, moving her feet under the comforter, like a cat pantomimes catching a mouse. Why had he come in here? What could he do? He was going to destroy a pack of vampires for her, did she really expect him to fight her mind's demons, as well? Edward sighed. He was going mad. _She_ didn't expect anything. She didn't know he was here. It was him alone who had the inexplicable urge to save her from everything.

He reached out his hand, hoping his body temperature wouldn't do more harm than good, and touched her cheek. She sighed, then grimaced and pressed harder into his hand. Before he could stop himself, Edward lay down on the bed and pulled Bella to him. She moved to fit his body – still sleeping, he checked – pressed her face between his arm and pectoral and was still.

He went into James's mind. No change there, though the images were somehow more chilling with this delicate creature in his arms. He stayed until dawn, tracking her heartbeat and periodically checking the thoughts of James, Alice, and Charlie Swan for danger.

Edward's scent was on her now. This was a stupid risk to take, but it wouldn't do any harm. James wanted her and nothing would stop him from going after her when they were together at the national park. The smell of another vampire would confuse him, but before he could do anything about it, Edward would be on him. This group was not accustomed to other vampires getting in their way.

Bella's accelerated pulse made him move. Edward hid outside her window and watched her awaken. She pressed her hand against the mattress beside her, cold from where he'd been, furrowed her brow, looked around. Missing something. Part of her remembered him. He liked that.

"Long walk," Jasper said as Edward came through the door.

"Mm." Edward nodded. "Very pleasant town. I'll like it here."

Alice opened her eyes a little and murmured, "You didn't seriously want to kill her more than three or four times. It was very admirable."

_If we were a little slow in finding the girl_, Alice thought, _perhaps Carlisle would feel obliged to change her and Edward could keep her for himself. _

Edward growled at her. "Focus on James, Alice."

They quickly made a game plan. Edward made sure Carlisle was left out of it completely.

The day dragged. The muscles of his legs ached to go to Olympic National Park now, if only to watch Bella some more, but it was crucial that he, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett arrived after James, Victoria, and Laurent and after one another. By two o'clock, James was at the Park, waiting in the densely shadowed trees, taunting Bella with a hidden threat.

When Emmett thought to spar with him, Edward jumped at the chance and they ran to an open range in Montana so the commotion wouldn't spread their scent. Edward felt no better after two hours and there were hours still to wait. They took a walk to a neglected horse pasture and Edward gave a few bay horses a brisk rubdown in lieu of a few months of brushing.

Emmett was bored. "Let's practice pulling things apart," he said. "I'm going to rip someone's head off today. Out of the blue. No punches thrown, no severed arm to prepare for it, just boom! His head's on the ground, watching while I obliterate the rest of him."

He was selfish enough to want Emmett his brother for eternity, but, as he watched him dismember Hannibal-masked Anthony Hopkins in mind, Edward thought he would have done very well in a more macabre time in history.

A half hour before seven, when James planned to strike, Edward and Emmett went back to Forks. Edward stayed focused in James's thoughts to watch his every move. James had backed Bella into a corner of rocks, miles from where her friends made camp. Victoria and Laurent were not far behind him, pleased to watch as an appetizer to Forks teen party brûlé.

Alice went first, confusing them with her speed, but James was determined and threw Bella backwards hard. Her head made contact with stone with a sound so satisfying to James that Edward itched to rip his penis off. She was unconscious, unable to run, but James made double sure, stepping on her tibia. But his movements were frazzled. He was confused and he was scared. When he got his first clear look at Alice, Edward was shocked by what he saw.

_The little mental girl_, James thought and then Edward got bursts of images – Alice with even shorter hair, in a padded white room, Alice screaming, Alice being held down on a table, electrodes on her forehead, rubber guard in her mouth, Alice's eyes, wide, a shocking bright blue, Alice's short nails digging into her damp, red skin – all marinated in the same sickening lust from James. Edward gagged and sent Emmett a few minutes early, unable to leave his tiny little sister alone on the battlefield.

Emmett caught Laurent from behind, like he'd hoped to. He grabbed the other vampire's hair for leverage, jumped on to his shoulders and _pulled_ and—pop! Off his head came, like a Barbie doll. At this, Victoria ran, Jasper fifteen seconds behind her. When Edward arrived, Alice was throwing James's dismembered feet to the side while Emmett punched him steadily in the neck. Edward went directly to Bella.

The smell of her blood filled every dry vein, but it was unimportant – this was not about his hunger, this was about her life. He lifted her carefully into his arms, so small and fragile, like he remembered holding a baby bird when he was a child. He studied her face for a moment, debating taking her to Carlisle or simply to where her friends could take care of her, when she opened her eyes. Just for a moment, but long enough to furrow her brow and smile at him. It felt like his heart beat.

He ran with her to the campsite. Jacob Black was pacing the parameter of the clearing, instincts raging, but too embarrassed to worry about what was probably a private walk in the woods to search for her. Edward set her down several feet from him, rustled some dry leaves and skipped to the top of a nearby Maple to make sure they did their jobs.

"Bella!" Jacob shouted. A boy called Tyler pulled his phone from his pocket. A girl called Angela and boy called Ben went to Bella and helped Jacob lift her. A boy called Mike took his car keys in hand and rushed ahead to start the engine. Edward followed closely behind them until Bella was being prepared for surgery. Edward broke a chair handle waiting – thank god Carlisle was taking over as chief because the hospital fell apart in an emergency. Still, Bella was going to be fine – Edward could hear her strong, steady heartbeat until his family left for Anchorage.

Back at the Park, Emmett and Alice were preparing a fire. Two piles of body parts sat behind them. In James's pile, a hand sat on top like a crown, flexing in and out of a fist. Edward smirked. Good. He hoped his brain, crushed and imbedded with pieces of skull, could still feel every break and tear of his body.

"Jasper's still not back," Alice said. "He chased Victoria as far as Seattle and lost her in the freeways. He's on the way back."

Edward checked. "About fifteen minutes He's terrified for you." Remembering James's memories of Alice, he wanted to hold her, to help her somehow, a hundred years too late, but now was not the time.

"I'm sorry about Victoria," Emmett said. He stoked the fire with one of Laurent's arms, then broke it in two and threw them in.

Edward shrugged and helped dispose of Laurent in the flames. "She was a toy to him. If she tries anything again, I'll kill her. If not—live and let—"

"The little bitch run away," Emmett said.

"Like a carrot from a stew," Alice finished cheerfully.

"Hey!" a deep voice called. _Damn kids think they can put fires wherever they please, like the rules are just a sheet of paper they can burn up in their safety hazards_, the park ranger thought and then came around the corner, gray hair and round body, uniform buttons pulling at their holes. "What do you just think you're doing, kids? You can't keep a fire up here! Probably thought there weren't ramifications, but—now—" The ranger looked dizzy and everyone turned to see Jasper come from behind them.

"I think we can let this fire burn itself out," Jasper said slowly, patting the ranger on the shoulder. "Don't you? We'll watch it."

The ranger nodded and stuttered his way back down the hill. They waited until the little pieces of James and Laurent were charred through. The ranger came back three more times, but Jasper just calmed him back the other direction. The fourth time he returned, the fire was put out and steaming and those pale, meddling kids were gone.

* * *

_September 2005_

Bella heard him before she saw him for the first time. "I'm Edward Cullen. Hello, everyone." It was a velvet voice, like a whisper of music. She looked up and gasped. His amber eyes went straight to her and their gazes connected.

"Where are you from, Edward?" said Mr. Varner, staring at his fingernails and rapping a pencil on his desk.

_Los Angeles_, Bella thought. He was a model moved to Forks to reconnect to the simple things in life. No, he was too pale to be from all that sunlight. But then look at herself. She certainly didn't look like an Arizona native.

"Alaska," the beautiful boy corrected her, smiling crookedly, as if he knew her thoughts.

Bella had been mortified after Mr. Varner made her introduce herself to the class last winter, but Edward looked perfectly at ease as he walked between the desks of staring faces. Next to Bella, Jessica was almost purple, watching Edward's every movement slack-jawed. As Edward came closer to her, Bella noticed he'd chosen a full isle to walk down, nowhere to sit. Once again, Bella would have been mortified, but Edward was calm.

"Is this desk taken?" he asked her directly and Bella almost stood up to give him her seat when she realized he was pointing at the empty desk next to her.

"N-no—" she said. But he couldn't get into the seat on this side. He'd have to go all the way back down her isle and up the next one to—but instead he jumped elegantly over the desk and slipped into the seat in one, fluid movement. A few of the boys around them clapped or whistled, but Edward only shrugged and took a notebook from his bag.

Bella watched his long fingers form around a pen, the blue veins in his hand, the smooth line of this thumbnail.

_Jacob_, she thought, forcefully. Bella had a wonderful boyfriend. And even as Edward glanced at her and smiled again, she knew someone like him would never give her the time of day, anyway.

Calculus was torture. It was all she could do not to stare at him outright, so focusing on the class was completely out of the question. Thankfully, Mr. Varner only called on her once and ignored her irrational answer. Edward seemed to be paying no more attention, clearly wasn't taking notes, but answered all of Mr. Varner's questions without even looking up.

When the bell rang, Bella was grateful to finally escape him, but Jessica stepped in.

"Edward," she called and ran him down in the hallway. "I'm Jessica. I was wondering, since you're new here and all, if you wanted to sit with me and my friends at lunch."

Edward squinted at Jess and then moved his gaze down the hall to Bella. "I have a big family," he said, still staring at Bella. For her part, Bella couldn't move, couldn't look away from him.

Jessica giggled. "We have big tables! I insist. Everyone can come." Edward still stared at Bella and Jessica finally noticed. She turned and gestured Bella forward. "Come on, Bella! What are you doing? Edward's going to sit with us at lunch."

Bella lurched forward and almost tripped over her feet, and Edward finally smiled and walked with them towards the cafeteria.

Jessica grabbed her arm and hissed, "Seriously, what are you doing? You _have_ a boyfriend, so leave the new boy for us poor, single girls." She smiled hugely at Edward and swung her arm with Bella's so they looked something like jovial schoolchildren.

"Oh, Edward—" Jessica said as they entered the cafeteria and let go of Bella's arm to grab Edward's. Bella wanted to rip Jessica's hair out, but that was foolish so she ignored the impulse. Jessica _should_ talk to Edward. They would make a great couple.

The table parted like the red sea as Edward led his brothers and sisters toward them. They were the most stunning group of people Bella had ever seen outside of a Hollywood movie. How incredibly gorgeous were their parents? And how did they manage to have four high school-aged children?

Edward diligently answered everyone's questions. Carlisle and Esme Cullen actually had five high school-aged foster children. Absent Emmett was a freshman at Dartmouth. Rosalie and Jasper, strikingly blond compared to Edward and Alice, were twins. No one else was related, but there was an obvious intimacy between them all. Bella wondered how long they had been a family, how young they were when the Cullens took them in.

The Cullens didn't eat anything off their trays, but Bella could tell that she was the only one that noticed. Poking at the congealing cheese of her mini-pizza, Bella couldn't blame them.

Although they were all unusually aloof, everyone in the cafeteria was smitten, star struck. Bella wanted to believe she saw this like an anthropologist, but every time looked at her, Bella felt it down to her fingertips.

That thought helped. This wasn't anything serious. Edward was hot – he was beautiful – that was undeniable. Jacob would have reacted the same way to the dazzling Rosalie.

She'd just avoid him until she got used to him and then—well. She'd just avoid him.

Of course, they were both in A.P. Biology and of course she was the only one without a lab partner. When she glanced at the door and saw him, big and glowing beautiful in the doorway, she was unreasonably thrilled that the year before, she wouldn't let Mike abandon Angela to help her catch up. "Hello, again," he said as he approached, and smiled.

"Hello," she said.

"Mr. Banner told me I should sit with you."

"Smart man," she said and he chuckled. _No!_ she thought. No flirting.

Mr. Banner passed out a worksheet with an assignment to diagram and label a cell and its organelles, then characterize their functions. It was review from the last section of basic biology, a test to make sure everyone could handle the workload. Simple, for Bella, and she was prepared to finish it quickly and share credit with Edward, but he pulled the sheet away from her before she was finished with half the organelles.

"Very good," he said with a raised eyebrow. Had he expected less?

A little annoyed, Bella took the sheet back and labeled the rest of the organelles. When she looked back at Edward, he was leaning his head on his hand and giving her that crooked grin. Bella shivered. Then she tried to laugh it off and moved the worksheet to the middle of the desk. "So, what does the cytoskeleton do?" she asked.

Edward moved his hand to the sheet. Bella moved to give him her pen, but he just outlined the curve of the cell with his pointer finger. Their hands were less than an inch apart. Instead of feeling body heat, Bella felt cold, like dry ice. Like a cool glass of water.

"It's the internal framework of the cell," he said.

"Made out of filaments," Bella continued, and wrote it down.

"It's responsible for the maintenance of cell shape—"

"Cell division, fixing on to other cells—"

"Cell movement… chromosome movement—"

"Cytoplasm movement—I think that's it."

"Yes," he said. Bella looked up. They'd moved closer together in talking and now their noses were no farther apart than their hands. His face was cool, too. "That's it."

The options were to kiss him or move away. So Bella leapt the other direction, overbalancing off her chair. Edward stood and wrapped an arm around her waist, steadying her. There was silence and then Mike laughed, used to Bella's clumsiness, and the rest of the class joined in.

"I'm sorry," Edward said softly and sat down again. _For what?_ she wanted to ask, _for being so beautiful?_ but couldn't make her throat work. Thank goodness because that would have been slightly embarrassing.

Mr. Banner walked by their table and looked at the worksheet. "Bella, do you think you could let Edward do some of the work?"

"He is!" Bella said, her voice squeaky. She cleared her throat. "I mean, he knows it. We're doing it together." Mr. Banner looked to Edward.

He shrugged. "I like biology," he said with a glance at Bella. She body felt an innuendo even if there wasn't one. "And I was in an advanced placement course in Alaska."

"Well, good you two are lab partners then," Mr. Banner said and walked to another table.

It took another five minutes to complete the worksheet and the people on either side of them hadn't finished labeling. It was awful. Why hadn't Bella stretched out their working time? The last thing she wanted to do was spend a half hour talking to Edward about their real lives. Okay, maybe it wasn't the _last_ thing she wanted to do. That was the problem.

Maybe it would be a half hour of not talking and trying not to stare, instead.

"Have you always lived in Forks?" No such luck.

"No. I moved here about eight months ago. Um. From Phoenix. Arizona."

Crooked grin. "That's a big change. You've lost your tan."

"I never—um." Talking about her body made Bella incredibly uncomfortable. "Yeah, big change. Forks isn't such a big change from Alaska, huh? I mean, wet and cold there, too."

"That's true. Why did you leave Arizona? Your father's the police chief here, has been for a while."

"How did you know that?"

He shrugged. "Small town. Carlisle – my father – has taken a position at the hospital. Chief Swan has frequent reason to be there."

"Oh. Of course."

"Did you live with your mother in Phoenix?" They talked easily for the rest of the class. Bella found herself explaining her mother's marriage to her father, Renée's marriage to Phil, her life in Phoenix, how much she hated living in Forks sometimes – things she had only told Jacob and not until after months of dating him. Not until after he'd told her a very big secret about himself.

"I have a boyfriend!" she said, non sequitur.

Edward cocked his head to the side. "I know. Jacob Black. He's a Quileute, lives in La Push, two years younger than you, really hot, really _big_."

"Um. Yeah."

"Your friend Jessica told me." Edward chuckled. "I was hoping we could be friends."

Friends. Of course he wanted to be friends. Bella should be grateful that he was interested in her enough to even be her friend, to talk to her during lulls in biology instruction.

"Oh, right. Of course we can be friends."

Bella was staring down at her hands, but Edward lifted her chin with a swift stroke of his finger. "I'm sure a lot of guys want to be your friend, Bella. But I'll really try not to overstep my bounds." He smiled. She blinked at him.

The bell rang with Mr. Banner shouting that the students could take the night to finish the worksheet if it was on his desk first thing in the morning. Bella put her notebook in her bag, her bag on her shoulder, her feet on the floor and out into the hallway, but her mind was on Edward's words.

He wanted her. That's what he said, wasn't it? The most gorgeous guy in the world wanted her, but he respected she was with someone else and wouldn't do anything about it.

He was the perfect man.

Bella never would have told Jacob this, but he didn't give her a chance. "There were new kids at school today," she said. "They're named—"

"Cullen," he spit out. "They're vampires. Could you tell? I hear the bloodsuckers have an aura. You know, cold. Dark."

"What?" Lucky Bella was standing in front of the couch in her living room because she fell backwards on to it. Her mind was spinning. Vampires. Edward was a vampire. Of course he was. His skin, his voice, his _face_, the way he jumped over the desk, stopped her from falling, didn't eat at lunch. Jacob sat down on the couch and put a hand on her forehead, as if he could tell if she had a fever. Edward was a vampire.

He didn't _want _her, he wanted to _eat _her. How was she so stupid? She probably wasn't even attracted to him, it was probably some kind of vampire allure, so he could get her close and _eat her_.

"Mmm," she said and crawled into Jacob's lap, tucked her head under his chin. "They're very cold and dark. Disgusting. How are you?"

Jacob chattered excitedly about his day of werewolf training – school in La Push didn't start for another two weeks – and Bella tried to keep her mind with him instead of cold skin and sharp teeth.

That night, she fell asleep right away and dreamt of vampires like _Nosferatu_, bat-like ears, black eye makeup, and garbage disposal mouth, chasing her through a mossy, green wood, to a rock wall. Something comforted her fears, wrapped around her like a blanket in reverse, cool and hard, a bed she never imagined could be so right.

* * *

Bella was rude to Edward the next day at school. His gaze was on the doorway as she walked into Calculus and he smiled. She raised her eyebrows at him – incredulous, she hoped she seemed, that they had any reason to interact. It seemed unfair that she should change her patterns to avoid him, that a vampire should be avoiding her, should be avoiding anything as human as high school (did it give him pleasure to befriend his victims before he murdered them?), but she chose a seat in left front of the classroom instead of the one next to him she'd taken yesterday.

When Jessica came in, she looked confused and then pleased. She bent down and whispered, "Thank you," as she passed and took the seat next to Edward. Bella turned to see him smile and nod politely to Jessica's words, his gaze still on Bella.

She was not exactly in a position to threaten a vampire, but she narrowed her eyes at him anyway. _My boyfriend is a werewolf, you fucker_, she tried to communicate. _Don't think we won't notice if you eat my friend. _If anything, Edward looked bemused. Did he really have no idea why she would be mad at him?

The night before, Jacob was surprised that she seemed so much more angry at than frightened of the vampires. She bit his collarbone and said, "How could I be scared with you on my side? You're so big and strong…" He was easily distracted, but she had to acknowledge when she couldn't sleep that her overwhelming emotion was betrayal. It was ridiculous. She had known the Cullens—Edward – if she was being honest, this had little to do with the rest of them. She had known him for one day and he had given her no reason to think he wasn't a serial killer. Nor should she especially care as long as he didn't hurt her or the people she loved.

And now she was annoyed that he didn't care. Look at him, paying attention to the lecture, writing in his notebook.

"Swan," Mr. Varner said. Bella turned 180 degrees to look at the teacher and blushed red when she realized she had been staring at Edward. Again.

She tried to smile. "Yes?"

"What are the co-ordinates of the stationary points?"

Bella looked at the blackboard. What in hell was a pt of inflection? "The—uh. Part of inflection?"

Mr. Varner sighed. "Right, well, the _P T_ is a _point_ of inflection, Swan, so we have to check the gradient at either side—"Bella stopped listening and concentrated on not looking at Edward again just because Mr. Varner was on the other side of the room harassing someone else.

She didn't last long.

When she looked this time, Edward was looking back. Ha! He did care. Bella was gratified. Or maybe he was just freaked out by her behavior. Good, in that case. He'd best be on edge with her sexy boyfriend on the watch for him.

Bella expected a confrontation at lunch, but he slipped past Jessica at the end of class – "Where did he go? Why would he run away?" – and by the time she entered the cafeteria, Edward and his family were sitting at a table in the western-most corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where Jessica had invited them to sit as possible.

She patted Jessica's shoulder. "He's a stuck-up idiot, Jess. Just avoid him."

She carefully positioned herself so she was facing him with his back to her. She could look at him surreptitiously and if he wanted to look at her, he'd be in the awkward position. Half way through lunch, she realized she was following a pattern Jessica set when she broke up with Mike. It had been annoying then and _Bella had no good reason to do it_. Why was she so obsessed with an attractive vampire?

They didn't have to interact much in Biology, but when they did, she made a fool of herself. "Stop it!" she said, loudly, but not, she noticed with a glance around the room, loudly enough for anyone else to notice.

"What?" Was there pain in his voice? "What did I do?"

"Stop making me think about you! Turn off your allure, or whatever."

Edward narrowed his eyes briefly and then chuckled and turned away. "I don't know what you're talking about. Silly Bella."

Bella scowled. "You're—silly." No. _No. _He was an evil vampire. She sighed. "I don't want us to be friends," she said firmly. "I don't like you."

He didn't look at her, but he nodded. "That's for the best. So, what's the major difference between plant and animal cells?" Bella only stared at him, surprised in the change in conversation. He looked at her for the briefest moment. "Do you want Mr. Banner to assign me another partner? Of course, I'll—" He stood up.

"No, it's fine. Sorry. Plant cells have walls, composed of cellulose, which makes the cell rigid and makes a plant grow stiff and big—" She blushed. Edward smiled. "Tall. Tall plants. Like trees.

Edward sat down slowly, watching her, then nodded. "Plastids, like chloroplast, which is used in photosynthesis and gives plants their color." He wrote it all down.

"Vacuoles," she said. "And animals have centrioles."

And then they were done. No one else was. Cue the awkward not talking and not, _not_ staring. This was better. Bella distracted herself by thinking about seeing Jacob after his training tonight.

"This probably will not be on the A.P. test," Edward said. "But it probably will be on the SAT II if you're thinking about taking those."

"How do you know?" she said before she remembered he'd probably taken both those tests before. Many times before, maybe.

"Books. My sister and I got some prep books."

She smirked at him before she could stop herself. "Right."

Edward smiled back placidly. "Right."

* * *

Alice was annoyed at him. "You need to do something about this thing with Bella Swan," she said as she walked into the main room and sat down on the piano bench next to him.

"What do you want me to do, Alice?" he said, scribbling a few notes in the margin of the third bar of the bridge of this—thing. Lullaby, perhaps. "I have to leave or—kill her. Or leave it as is, in limbo. I'm sorry. Are you seeing—"

"You're much less likely to kill her than you think," she said, playing the left hand's part of the piece, too quickly. "Mostly I see you rip off all her clothes and lick—"

"That's plenty, Alice, thank you," he said quickly, but he saw it all in Technicolor, anyway. He hit Mr. Varner firmly on the head and settled him behind his desk, ushered the other students out of the room, laid Bella down on their lab table, ripped the red shirt she wore today down the middle, buttons showering to the floor, and tore off her bra between the cups, settling her screams with his mouth until she was moaning…

"She has a crush on me, Alice," he groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"Then ask her on a date—"

"I can't! I would drink her dry if we had a moment alone and she's dating someone besides. She's in love with him, I think, although I don't _know_ because I can't _hear her_, and he's certainly in love with her and a very decent young man. A little young for her, perhaps, but by _two years _instead of _eighty-six_, Alice! It's impossible. She said she didn't want to be my friend and she shouldn't – that's simple instinctual reaction to a predator, _healthy_, and I never should have encouraged a friendship, but really she's just mad at me because she's attracted to me while she's involved with Jacob Black—who's a descendent of the Quileute werewolves, by the way—I can't bare to read his thoughts, not since we arrived here. And that's _good_ – that she'd mad at me, I mean, because it keeps her away from me, but I don't want her away, I want her _here_."

When he finally looked back to her, Alice was watching him with sad eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"Put up with my pathetic longing. Again, I'm sorry." Edward began to play the right hand's part to his piece and Alice joined in with the left. Perhaps he should distract himself with arranging it for four hands when he was finished with it – but no. He would always want to be able to play this alone. Perhaps he would arrange Beethoven's Sonata No. 23 for four hands, instead.

"She will hear this one day," Alice said confidently. "And she will love it."

Alice's mind was clear, only thoughts identical to her words. "You don't see that."

"I don't have to."

* * *

It went on like that for a month. He missed one day of school, a sunshiny blue day, and Bella felt antsy, missing his face and their stilted conversation. Edward was annoyingly helpful and clever in their classes together, sometimes caught her staring at him, and left her alone, just like she wanted. In fact, the vampires left everyone alone. Bella worried sometimes that they were planning a grand massacre, but she tried not to ask Jacob about it or bring up Edward at all. She was sure he would see how interested she was and she didn't want him to know she was interested in anyone else, let alone his immortal enemy.

Jacob mentioned the Cullen family frequently, describing their many disarming powers, theorizing that the werewolf gene was stimulated to prepare for their arrival, that it was a sign that the vampires were going to attack violently in some big way – although he'd used a different word. He and his pack brothers had only said, "vampire" to her maybe three times total, but "bloodsucker" and "leech" felt too derogatory for her to use herself.

"Do you talk to them?" he'd said once and although she tried to ignore her boyfriend until he was finished musing on logistics, Bella couldn't disregard a direct question.

"Not really." She was thankful she could be honest. "One of them is my lab partner."

Jacob exploded – literally. Thankfully, he realized his lacking control early and ran out the door before the transformation. A few minutes later, he walked back inside quickly and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry. You let a leech work with you every day? How could you not tell me?"

"It's not exactly _letting_," she said into his arm, where her face was pressed. "I couldn't go to Mr. Banner and tell him I felt uncomfortable working with a vampire, could I?" Bella remembered Edward's offer to do nearly that and was grateful Jacob couldn't see her face. "Besides, nothing happened."

"Something _could _happen." He gave her several rapid, hard kisses on her head. "He wants you. How could he not? Maybe _that's _why I'm a werewolf now. To protect you from some stalking leech." At the reminder of his own strength, Jacob loosened his hold and Bella squirmed into a cooler, more comfortable position.

"I'm sure he doesn't want me." She pressed her palm to his heart and stroked his hot skin to the steady rhythm. Edward's skin was so cold. She wondered how he would hold her.

How long it would take him to kill her once he had her in his arms?

Her most personal conversation with Edward happened on her birthday. She made sure not to tell anyone about it. She had never been excited when people made a big deal about the day she was born, but knowing Jacob wouldn't age for years, decades or centuries, even made her especially sensitive to the day. Charlie, of course, told Billy about it, and Billy told Jacob, who made her promise to come over and let him give her something. At first, he'd tried for a party, but Bella insisted that was out of the question.

When she walked into Biology that afternoon, she was expecting Emily would make a big dinner and Jacob would give her something small.

Edward was already sitting when she sat down and he smiled at her. He was unfailing polite and didn't question her blank stare now. The rest of the class went the same as usual, but in the last few minutes, when they had nothing to do, he said, "Happy birthday," as she bent away from him to pack her bag.

She cracked her back straightening up to look at him. "What?" He looked surprised that he'd said it, too.

"Happy—um, do you know Mrs. Cope? In the main office? She keeps track of everyone in the school like we'll all fall apart if she plays a game of solitaire and she mentioned that it was your birthday. It's—" He paused for a moment, his eyes focusing behind her. "Jasmine Papp's birthday, too."

"Oh. Thank you, I guess. But I still don't like you. And I don't like my birthday."

"Why haven't you told anyone? Eighteen. You're an adult." He pronounced it the British way – aah-dult – and Bella ground the tip of her pencil into the desk.

"Because I don't _like _it. Not that it's any of your concern."

"You're right," he said, turning away from her. "I'm sorry."

Although his expression was serene, she could tell that she had hurt him – bizarre – and wanted to apologize – double bizarre.

Mike, of course, heard the whole exchange and made her stand up and hug him, thus inspiring the entire class to congratulate her through the bell. When they let her go and Bella turned to collect her things, there was a little bouquet of wildflowers on her desk, held together with a brown satin ribbon. White, violet and yellow, still glistening with dew drops. She turned to Edward to ask if he'd seen who put it there, or if it had been Edward himself – wishful thinking, and idiotic to boot – but he was already gone. It was probably Eric Yorkie. His cousin Mathilda was in the Biology class, two seats away from her.

Bella had never liked the idea of giving flowers. Men frequently gave Renée bouquets when they first met her and were charmed by her spontaneity and vibrancy. Weeks after she frightened them away, Bella would have to throw the dead blossoms away and rinse dirty water out of the vases. This mysterious present made her smile, however, and she hung it from her rearview mirror.

Charlie told her it was a traffic hazard. Jacob asked her who'd given them to her, with badly feigned nonchalance and she assured him she'd picked them herself. In truth, she had no idea where those delicate little flowers could be found in Forks. Appeased, Jacob told her the ribbon was the same color as her eyes. "Was that why you picked it?" he asked and she wondered if whoever had given them to her could had noticed something like that.

Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale passed by her car while she was cleaning out fast food trash from the backseat one afternoon and Alice started jumping up and down on Rosalie's delicate shoulder, grinning and staring at approximately her rearview mirror. Bella frowned and wondered again if the flowers were from Edward, and cursed or something, but more likely Alice was a little crazy.

* * *

End notes:

1) According to the Twilight Lexicon (here: /?pageid9), the baseball game and James' group find Bella on March 13. In chapter 12, Edward says they come to Forks because they knew the Cullens are there and they're curious, but I'm saying that they knew because of the treaty, or maybe were interested in the treaty itself, going against it, and the treaty is exactly the same in this universe.

2) James and co. killing a man in a fishing boat is taken from the teaser featurette. I think they're killing the mysterious Waylon Forge, friend of Charlie's in that dock scene, but in this universe, Charlie didn't know this person well.


	2. Chapter 2: Friends

Chapter 2: Friends

The trip to Seattle was a bad idea. Not because of her father's reasoning that she would get lost and mugged in such a large city – she could maneuver herself around some tall buildings and nefarious plots. Not because of Jacob's reasoning that the vampires were after her – they weren't even in Seattle, were they? And certainly not because of Jessica's reasoning that she would miss the homecoming dance.

No, it was because the road between Sequim and Port Angeles was torn to bits and apparently her tires couldn't handle it twice in one day. Bella heard a popping noise before her truck began to skid and she pulled to the side of the dark, empty road. For the first time, she was grateful that Charlie had stocked her glove compartment with a Washington road map, first aid kit, energy bar, and flashlight. She grabbed the flashlight, relieved that Charlie remembered to put fresh batteries in it, as well, and discovered her left front tire was rapidly deflating.

Ten miles from any civilization in either direction and Bella had no idea what to do.

She had a vague idea how to change a tire, but she had no spare and no jack, so that was out. It was nearing eleven o'clock at night and no one had passed by in fifteen minutes. No one was coming to help her. She could sleep in her car, eat the energy bar if she got hungry. Surely the traffic picked up in the morning. It was freezing, but she could keep the car running and the heater on.

Satisfied, she turned to get back in the car when headlights appeared around the corner. Fear gripped her stomach for a moment from years of horror movies set on back roads, then relief. It was probably a kindly farmer who would give her a ride to Port Angeles and a pay phone. A farmer driving very fast.

First, it became clear that the car was silver. Then that it was a Volvo. Then that it was not a coincidence and that really was Edward driving in all his stunning beauty.

The Volvo pulled to the side a few yards behind her truck. Edward sat inside the car with the light on, staring at her. Bella stared back. Finally, he slid out of the car and came to her, stopping two feet away.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

Bella didn't want to answer, didn't know how to answer. She had a pan to make it through the night alone in her truck. A vampire interrupted this plan and was quite possibly stalking her with aim to kill her. And yet her body relaxed every muscle, pooled warm relief in her belly. How was she?

"What are you doing here?" she said instead.

"I've been following you all day," he said promptly, eyes pale amber and shiny. "Do you realize

what a of magnet for trouble you are? I could only imagine what would happen to you in a city the size of Seattle."

"I'm fine," she said, and she realized her tone was soft and kind, comforting him. "You—you were worried about me?"

"I was petrified. I'm _always_ petrified."

Here, in the darkness, alone with him, she realized the truth. "You don't want to kill me, do you."

Edward released a choked laugh. "Did my behavior make you think I was a sociopath?" His arm lifted in stilted movements and he touched the tips of her hair at her collarbone. She wanted to press his hands to her, but, even now, she couldn't do that.

"No. Not exactly. I know you're a vampire, Edward."

"What?" His fingers dropped from her hair and he took a step back.

She stepped forward. "My boyfriend's a werewolf—"

He stepped back again. "Werewolf?" She forced her body to stay still.

"Do you—you must know about the werewolves." He nodded, his gaze still very weary, ready to run if forced. Run from her if she knew his secret, not kill her. Somehow his instinct was flight, not fight. "Um. Well, he told me. That you and your family are vampires. But I've been—I thought—why haven't you been eating people?"

"We don't do that. We—we're quite unusual. We know only one other family like us. We survive off the blood of animals. Don't the dogs know that? I can't believe they haven't attacked if they think we're causing harm."

Bella opened her car door and sat down, grateful for the activity, the excuse to turn her back to him. Of course she knew that it was part of the treaty that the vampires could only live in Forks if they never bit a human, but—how could it be true? Jacob and the rest of the pack were _so angry_ with the Cullens. They had to be doing something wrong.

"Why don't you kill humans?" she said, though that wasn't the right question at all.

"We don't want to kill. I don't want to hurt you, Bella." He was right in front of her, but she couldn't look at him, her hair fallen forward, curtaining him away from her. Her throat ached, her eyes burned—she was crying. She laughed. Why was she crying? "Oh, no," Edward said. He pressed his hands against her shoulders. "Don't sound so relieved. I'm not being honest. I do want to kill you. More than most! You—you are the most delicious thing I've ever come across. I never dared imagine you. You were right to fear me the way you have. I shouldn't be here."

He stepped back, but Bella came forward again, tripping out of the truck and on to her feet to remain in contact. "I want to kill you, but if you died—I couldn't bare it."

It was the most incredible thing anyone had ever said to her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up. For a few seconds, Edward was like a statue and Bella thought her muscles couldn't sustain a pull-up for any longer when he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. At first she thought he would bite, but he only sniffed her, pressing his cold nose to her neck. Bella just enjoyed the feel of his body against hers, every impossibly hard muscle and cold soft skin.

Entirely too soon, he pulled her apart from him and stepped several feet away from her. "This is wrong, Bella. You can't be so involved."

"I'm not involved," she said quickly. "I'm in love with my boyfriend. You're just—some guy. A very attractive—hey, yeah. Just turn off your allure—"

"You knew as far back as that? That's what you meant?" He laughed. "Well, in any case, I can't turn it off. As a vampire, my features were enhanced to attract prey, but it's just as an actor uses his features to attract job offers. I just look like this."

"Still, I'm not involved. I'm just relieved you're not going to kill Jessica and it's coming out a little tremble-y."

"I would never kill Jessica." Bella grinned and he narrowed his eyes. "Well, I have had a few fantasies about killing her… breaking her neck so she doesn't scream when I attack you."

Bella had a brief image of she and Edward alone in Mr. Varner's classroom, Bella straddling him, baring her neck, and Edward running his cool tongue across her pulse point, skimming with his teeth, much blunter than she knew they really were.

Edward took her distracted silence to be fear and smiled at her—relieved that she would stay away from him? She smirked back. "It's not going to work. That idea is pretty sexy. I'm not scared of you."

He scowled. "You have no sense of self-preservation. You're going to get yourself killed. I can't give you a hickey, do you realize that? My hickey leaves you dead in my arms."

That wasn't the worst image in the world, either. She took a deep breath to try to clear her head, but the air was tinted with his scent. "I'd never let you give me a hickey, anyway." Liar. "I have a boyfriend. He's a werewolf. He's very sexy."

Edward growled and walked quickly to his car, then walked right back to her. "I'm sorry. You're right. Neither one of us is really involved. I'll take you back to him now. Or, if you prefer, you can use my phone to call a tow truck. It will be here in about twenty minutes. You don't have to spend any unnecessary time with me." He was holding out his small, silver cell phone to her and looking at his feet. Bella took a few steps closer to him.

"Just because I don't want you to give me a hickey doesn't mean I don't want to spend _unnecessary_ time with you." She took the cell phone from him – her hands were nearly as cold as his in the night air, and waited for her to look at him before she put it in her pocket. "The first day we met you said you wanted to be friends. Now that I know you—well, don't _want to_ want to kill me, can't we be friends?"

"You want to be friends?" he demanded. "You really want to be my friend?"

"Yes." She tried to keep calm in the face of his – anger?

"You're not attracted to me?"

"It doesn't matter." How did Edward have any friends if they couldn't be attracted to him? Besides— "I'm sure Jacob's friends with girls he's attracted to. And I—want to know you."

"You're so young, Bella." He didn't sound angry any longer, he sounded sad. "It does matter. It always—"

"How old are you?"

"What—? I'm seventeen. But I'm vastly more mature than you."

She beat down her own annoyance. He was angry. She needed to make him laugh. "How long have you been—building up this maturity?"

"A while."

They shared a smile, but Bella didn't forget her aim. "Please, Edward."

/

Edward's body might have died at seventeen, but after eighty years he had better control of his hormones than this. He was in love with Bella Swan. His primal urge to drink her blood was only matched by his urge to taste her in another way. He spent a lecture on binary fission so aroused he feared to move and tear his jeans… because her hair was wet from the lunchtime rain, clinging to her neck.

But just because he wanted to kiss her didn't mean he _had_ to kiss her.

He could be her friend. Just her friend.

"Okay," he said. "I want to know you, too."

She smiled. Glorious. "Act of friendship number one, drive me home."

"I would have done that when we weren't friends." Maybe he was grumbling, but he couldn't help it.

"Yeah, but it means more now." That made little sense to him, but if he meant more to her for whatever reason, he wouldn't question it. "And it means we won't have an awkward drive back to Forks."

Bella used his phone to call AAA and her father. Charlie was glad she wasn't alone, especially glad that one of Dr. Cullen's kids was with her, lucky he volunteered at Red Cross in Seattle, and Edward was once again amazed at the trust Carlisle inspired in people when even Esme alarmed other women when she walked through the drugstore. They waited in Bella's truck for the tow to arrive. He teased her that he was surprised the antique could make to Seattle even one and a half times, that her speakers made even Seattle's excellent KEXP FM radio sound bad. He considered teasing her over the dying flowers hanging from her rearview mirror, but he was too delighted she'd kept them. He would have betrayed himself.

"In the fifties, boys with this truck would ask the girls out to the drive-in and only _fast_ girls would say yes," he informed her, instead. "The seats are as cushy as a mattress."

They both looked around themselves, at the long, fat leather seats and imagined using it as a mattress, lying on it together. He couldn't read her mind, but he could see it in her face, in her blush, in how she wouldn't look at him. Too late, she laughed and said, "Do you know this from experience?"

"No!" he said. "I have never owned a truck. Is this 1953?" She nodded. "When some boy was trying to get laid in his dad's new pickup—" She wrinkled her nose, at the idea of seventy-year-old sperm on her passenger seat, perhaps? He bit back a smile. "—I was driving a Ferrari 375. White. They only built forty of them. It was the biggest reason I wanted to move to Alaska. It was so incredible driving that beauty on the ice."

"What happened to it?"

"Emmett crashed it. He had no finesse for ice racing. Oh, Emmett's my brother at Dart—well, my brother who's hiding out at our house. We managed to clean it up before there was an oil spill and Alice saved a baby polar bear from being killed in the fire. The mother was _furious_. That was a very messy relocation."

"Have you been in Alaska since the 50s?"

"No, no," he said. "We move about every four years to different sunless places in the world. It's important to Carlisle to be a doctor, so we leave when it's becoming obvious that he hasn't aged… he was only twenty-three when he became a vampire, so it's a stretch to call him old enough to have gone through modern medical training, but people believe what they want. We must also move when someone figures out we're… different."

"So…" Bella chewed on her pinkie nail and nudged her hair around her face. "Are you going to move now? Now that you know I know?"

They should. If the werewolves were returning to La Push, if even one beautiful little human knew, they should leave. Better safe then sorry. But Edward didn't want to. Esme was doing stunning restoration work on their house, Carlisle was enjoying working in a smaller hospital, the nearby hunting was excellent… but that really had nothing to do with it.

"I don't want to leave," he said. She peaked through the veil of her hair, her eyes soft, her smile hopeful. "We won't leave. At least not right now. If anyone else finds out—if the werewolves tell—"

"I won't tell anyone! And Jacob – my boyfriend – wouldn't have told me about himself if I hadn't seen him phase for the first—"

"You were there?" As if he had no control of his own body, Edward's arms lifted Bella into his lap, his hands moved over her face, her throat, checking for wounds. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," Bella said softly, pressed his hands to rest on her shoulders. "I tripped running away, skinned my knee and my palms… probably would have happened anyway." They stared at one another, their faces inches apart. Edward wasn't breathing, but the scent of her blood lingered. He could feel her warm breath through his whole body, as if she could fill his lungs for him. Then she looked away and tried to laugh. "Have you heard of imprinting?"

Edward had to force himself not to clench his hands and shatter her delicate bones. If the dog had imprinted on Bella, Edward would—kill himself. The realization shocked him. He would rather be dead than know he could never have her.

"The leader of the pack, Sam, he imprinted on a girl, Emily, and another guy in the pack has imprinted on someone… Emily and Kim know. Jacob's father knows." Subject shifted and no mention that Jacob had imprinted on her. Edward felt every muscle uncoil. "All the Quileutes know about the legend, but I think only those seven know it's real. And me."

That was eight. That was absolutely too many.

There was a knock on the window. A black man in plaid flannel and cargo pants smiled at them. Edward rolled down the window. "Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds. You call for a tow?"

For a moment, Edward was surprised that he hadn't heard the enormous flatbed tow truck pull up. Then he realized he _had_ heard it, just far back in his mind, leaving room for the more important conversation. The man winked at them. _Too bad I didn't wait five minutes, might have seen the cutie with her top off. _Bella blushed.

Edward opened the door quickly, so it hit the man in the knees, then helped Bella on to her feet. "Yes, we did. Here's the insurance information," he said, grabbing the little pile of papers off the seat where Bella left it and her wallet out of her purse. "And Ms. Swan's ID. You'll tow the truck to that address. I'll be driving her in my car and you can follow us if you wish. Do you need anything else?"

The man blinked. "She needs to sign a—"

Edward pulled a clipboard out of his hands and held it out to Bella. She hid a smile in pursed lips and signed. Edward gave back the clipboard, raised an eyebrow, and nodded when the man shook his head. "We'll be waiting in the car if you require anything else. Thank you."

Edward led Bella to the Volvo with a hand on the small of her back and the man called, "Thank _y—you_! Sir!"

Bella laughed once they were sitting inside the car. "That was incredible. You are a force of nature. I'm always scared to do _any_thing, like when I'm talking to a bank teller or—"

"Most people are. But you pay their salary, Bella. That man wouldn't have a job if you didn't buy his insurance and drive an primeval car. A man getting paid eight dollars an hour to wear plaid and maneuver a giant machine does not get to wink at you." He growled. "Or think about you with your shirt off."

"I'm sure he wasn't thinking about me with my shirt off."

"I assure you, he was." Edward checked the man's mind again: _more comfortable in that fancy car anyway, better to lay her out on—_ "He still is! I should have hit his knees harder."

Bella squinted out the windshield, at the man sliding under the car to connect her car to the tow hook. "How can you tell?" Her eyes widened. "Oh, no! You can read peoples' minds, can't you? You can!"

"Yes, I can." Edward hadn't exactly been trying to hide it – when Bella told him she knew his secret, he'd felt like she knew everything, about his family, his past, his entire self – but he was still surprised she took that leap. "You're much more observant than I gave you credit for."

"Jacob said that some of the vampires had _extra_ powers, but… he thought it was just part of the legend. What am I thinking right now?" she said quickly, then her eyes widened and she blushed. He'd never been so disappointed that he couldn't read her, not even when she started glaring at him in Calculus.

"I can't hear your thoughts. You're the only exception I've ever met. What were you thinking?"

"No way," she said. "I think my thoughts are hidden from you because they're too embarrassing to be heard by other minds."

"Everyone has embarrassing thoughts—no, _very_ embarrassing," he insisted at her incredulous face. "Did you know Eric Yorkie has a fantasy of you in a Catwoman suit dominating him on the football field?" She looked stricken and he very nearly snorted. "I probably shouldn't have told you that."

"Can your whole family read minds?"

"No, not at all. Alice and Jasper both have gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind, but that's it—Carlisle is very special in his own way, more compassionate than anyone I've ever known. More concretely, though, Alice sees the future, possible futures. Jasper can manipulate emotions of the people around him, quiet a crying baby or rouse the students in his first period class. He was very charismatic as a human. I was very perceptive of the people around me."

"And Alice?" Edward explained Alice's missing past, that she had a vision of Carlisle and his family, that her first memory was of Jasper's face.

"Alice and Jasper are _together_? It sounds so silly when I say it that way, after a story like that. It's more like they were never apart, isn't it? Like they completed one another."

"It's often like that with our kind. We're a very large family, usually it's only two: mates, a couple. Even within our family, Rosalie and Emmett are _together_—" Bella smiled at him. "And Carlisle has Esme."

"And you're alone?"

Edward met her gaze before he could stop himself, looked down over her perfect little body, then back to her eyes, bright, like a clear glass of coffee in front of the sun, and didn't know what to say, when the tow truck man knocked on the window again.

Although he was relieved for the interruption, Edward again opened the door quickly, this time hitting him hard on one shin. "So sorry," he said. "How can I help you?"

The man bounced on one foot. "Ow! Um, I'm ready to go. If you'd like to lead the way. Sir."

"Certainly. Thank you." Edward waited in a deep silence in the car until the man got in the tow truck, then he started back on the road. He couldn't look at Bella, but out of his peripheral vision, he saw she wasn't looking at him either. Perhaps this would be an awkward drive back to forks after all. Perhaps he couldn't be just her friend. He sighed. With the tow following him, he had to stay within truck speed limits and it made his ankle ache.

"So—how did Carlisle find Esme?" Bella said, hesitantly.

"That's a lovely story, actually," he said. He wished they could bypass the subject of love altogether, but taking the focus off himself was good enough. Under most circumstances, he would have told a succinct version, but he sought a thorough change of subject.

"Esme grew up in Ohio at the turn of the century. When she was sixteen, she broke her leg climbing a tree and her parents took her to the doctor in Columbus – Dr. Cullen; Carlisle. This was a few years before Carlisle found me, so I don't know anything first hand… I've wondered if it was this experience with Esme that led him to change me. He didn't understand how lonely he was until he met her. They connected right away. They made each other laugh. Esme has a little silver scar on her leg from the fall and she said she would touch it and think of him when she felt lost. They were together for an hour, but that was enough." Telling Bella this story, he couldn't help thinking of that weekend in April when she'd had her leg broken and he'd taken care of her. Should he have not come back? Perhaps if they were meant to be together, she would have found her own way back to him.

"She went home with her parents and he thought he'd never see her again. Carlisle was happy just to know she was in the world somewhere, but ten years later, he found her in the morgue of the hospital where he worked, her heart still beating, just faintly. Esme had married an abusive man. She ran away from him when she got pregnant, to protect the baby, but little William died not long after anyway.

"She tried to kill herself. Instead, she woke up from the pain of the change to Carlisle's face. She started weeping and I could hear his thoughts so loudly, suffering, scolding himself for playing the role of god again, hurting this perfect creature… but then she kissed him, just fell into his arms, fell into his body, like they were becoming one entity. I had to leave. They made love on the bed, no words spoken until they were done. I didn't want to listen, but they were _so_—enthusiastic, I suppose. Passionate."

"You'll have that, Edward," Bella said, after a few moments. _But not with you_, he finished for her. He couldn't say anything. "You know imprinting? Jacob didn't imprint on me. I tell him he's going to meet the perfect girl for him one day and drop me like a hot potato." A piece of the steering wheel broke off his Edward's hand. He stared at it, unbelieving, then realized he wasn't holding the actual steering wheel any longer and grabbed on to it again. It all happened too quickly for Bella to notice. "He thinks it won't – can't – happen, that he's too interested in me to even notice someone else. But he can't know that. He only hopes that's true."

"Do you hope that's true?"

"Of course," she said quickly. "But I mean—I love him, you know? But I'm eighteen. Most people don't marry their high school sweetheart."

If Jacob wasn't forever, Bella should end it now and be with Edward. Love him. Marry him. He squeezed the little piece of steering wheel in his hand, let it fall like dust to the floor, trying to calm down. No. It would be best for Bella if she ended it with the werewolf and forgot about Edward entirely. With her luck, she'd find some out-of-control young witch to date next. Edward, at least, could protect her, even from himself—no!

He closed his eyes and prayed to a god he was sure had forsaken him long ago that some day he accepted he couldn't be with Bella, wasn't meant for her. Really internalized it. Perhaps didn't even want it anymore, although that was unlikely. The dog had no concept of wanting her forever.

"That's true," he said slowly. "I'm sure you'll fall in and out of love a lot in your life."

"Has that been true for you?"

"No," he said. "I think it's different for my kind. Once I'm in love, I'll always be in love." He glanced at her and saw she was almost sideways on the seat looking back at him. "So—don't judge yourself based on me."

/

Bella was wrestling with two inappropriate feelings. She was grateful that he had never been in love before – that meant no one had been more important to him than her (not that she was important at all, not that Jacob wasn't important to _her_, very important—more important, _really_). Still, she was annoyed that he wasn't in love with her. No, annoyed was the wrong word. Sad, maybe. And still, all she wanted was to be his friend.

That was a lie. But she couldn't break up with Jacob – well, why couldn't she? Why not break up with him? Then she thought of his smiling face, of not calling him when she got home tonight, of never sitting in his warm kitchen again, or handing him tools while he worked on his car, and she felt sick, literally like she might faint or throw up. Plus, she thought in effort to ground herself, looking at Edward's chiseled profile, she was lucky he even wanted to be her friend. Breaking up with an excellent guy, an excellent boyfriend, for a sexy, unavailable vampire would be the stupidest thing in the world.

She was going in circles now.

Looking for something else to talk about, or at least think about, Bella caught sight of the steering wheel. "What happened to that!"

"What?" He followed her gaze and touched the jagged edges of the broken circle. "Oh, this. I broke it."

"With what?" Edward flexed his hand and she slowly realized. "With your bare hands. Wow, you're strong."

"You're right to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you! Edward, I know you haven't spent much time with humans… touching humans, but I think you have a natural instinct for what is breakable – _okay_ to break, not _possible_ to break – and what is not." He huffed, unconvinced. Bella wondered for a moment if he needed to breathe and filed the question away. "I'm serious. Earlier, you pulled me into your lap, do you remember? When you found out I saw Jacob turn into a wolf for the first time."

He nodded. "It was a comment about Jacob that made me hurt my beautiful car, as well."

Bella laughed. "You didn't hurt me. I'm not even bruised, I can tell. Your instincts knew you were handling _me_, a human, someone you—" _care about_ "—want to be friends with and your muscles managed their strength appropriately. It must be a vampire thing or even something special to you, because—Jacob doesn't do that."

Another piece of the steering wheel broke off. Edward didn't seem to notice. "He _does_ hurt you."

"No! I mean, sometimes. He doesn't always realize how strong he is now. It's only been a few months. Actually, four months—tomorrow, wow, I should—what I mean is, it's never serious. Just some finger-shaped bruises around my arm, once in a while. Mostly when we're—" Bella blushed. Edward threw the bit of steering wheel on to the floor of the car, embedding it a few inches from his left foot. "My point being that I don't think I have to be scared of you. In any case, I'm not."

"You're far, far too trusting, Bella." She flinched away from his hard words. "You shouldn't let the dog touch you. You shouldn't let me anywhere near you! Drive you home, indeed! I could have thrown my steering wheel at your head. I'm not even in control of my car. I shouldn't be a licensed driver."

"Edward." Bella put her hand on his arm. His muscles were tense and hard, even compared to his marble-like relaxed state. "I think this is you in a viable tantrum and I'm fine. You haven't hurt me."

"You're like a soap bubble, Bella. One strong breath and you're broken. I could hurt you so easily."

"You won't." This might have been an impossible argument, so Bella thought it best to change the subject. "Do you have to breathe?"

"What? Um, no. It's just habit. We do it for a sense of smell. I've frequently decided not to breathe so I don't have to smell you. Because I want to _kill you_, Bella."

"Yes," she said, a little smugly. "But if I died, you couldn't bare it."

"Perhaps I said that in the relief of the moment, that the worst thing that happened to you in Seattle was a flat tire, the way young boys say, 'I love you' after orgasm. Did you consider that?" Bella wasn't sure that he meant to be funny, but she couldn't help laughing anyway. Edward's mouth curved up a bit.

"So you don't have to breathe. What about the other vampire stories? Fangs?"

He lifted his lip and ran his tongue over his teeth, normal except for their white brilliancy. The muscles in her thighs clenched in response. "No need, your skin's like butter. I'm not burned by the sun… or garlic or holy water. A wooden stake through the heart would never make it through the skin. There are no hunters that wield the strength and skill needed to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness."

"Was that a _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ quote?"

"Yes, it was. Alice loves _Buffy._ Everything in that show is wrong," he said. "But quite amusing."

"So no living underground with iron candelabras and coffins to sleep in?"

"No coffins." His expression sobered. "We don't sleep."

"Oh." Bella had been prepared for this possibility, but the enormity of difference between them caught her like a blow to the stomach. "Jacob thought that was a legend, too. He thought it was too much of an unfair advantage, like you could just run for hours until the pack got exhausted. Not that—they don't get tired too easily, either," Bella added quickly.

"I will not kill your boyfriend in my sleepless nights." He sighed. "We won't attack the wolves unless duly provoked. And that's not my style, besides. I don't need to run."

"I didn't mean to offend your masculinity—"

"You didn't."

Another tense silence, this one lasting until Port Angeles.

"Why did you go to Seattle, anyway?" he said as they passed the final lights of the city, tall signs for McDonalds and Holiday Inn.

"Forks leaves something to be desired—"

"In the way of entertainment?"

"Sort of. Books. I was never one for online shopping and its basically impossible with the ancient computer I have to work on – dialup and it's too late for a antivirus – I think it would register McAfee and shut down completely, one too many hamburgers before the heart attack, you know?" Bella was babbling, but Edward seemed right there with her, smiling at her joke, nodding at the concept of old computers, although from the tailored jeans he wore to the Volvo he drove, broken steering wheel notwithstanding, Bella figured he'd never experienced it.

"Anyway, it's hard to find books and Seattle has some pretty good independent bookstores. I was going to try for Portland—"

"Powell's."

"Exactly. But I didn't think I the old guy could make it and clearly I was right. I might not have gotten one way."

"Why didn't Jacob drive you?" Bella wished he hadn't brought up Jacob and from the tightening

at the corner of his eyes, he wished it too, but it was too late now. And really, this would never work if they couldn't talk about that part of her life.

"He and the pack train pretty hard on Saturdays. It's the first day of the week they don't have other commitments – school and work, so they're all really excited about it and when I brought it up, Jacob was clearly pretty disappointed to miss out. And I don't mind being on my own."

Edward studied her for a long moment. "I'll take you to Portland sometime. Did you get some books, at least?

"_The All Trout Cookbook_," she said and he laughed. "Classic. And _Dr. Zhivago_. No one's heard of it yet, but I think it's going to be big."

"Ah, Boris."

"Did you know Boris Pasternak?" Bella was trying to mock the pretentious familiarity of using an artist's first name, but Edward nodded.

"'Know' is too strong a word. Remember I mentioned the other family that lives like me? One of them, Irina, has a great fondness for books set in cold places, and so all classic Russian literature, but especially _Dr. Zhivago_. She and Boris had a little affair in the 20s. This was before _Zhivago_—he'd just published a book of poetry, very well received, quite good—_it falls like a ripe pear into the storm, with a single clinging leaf_—mm.

"She was in Russia to find him and I was there—um, taking a tour of the continent. I spent an evening with him at a party, distracting his wife while he and Irina found dark corners. Very serious kind of man, but she adored him. I think you'll like the book. Do you enjoy the classics?"

Bella told him she did and he spent the rest of the drive asking about what she'd read, what she'd appreciated, what she'd fallen in love with, what she'd hated. While she was defending _Wuthering Heights_, he opened the glove compartment and put in a new CD, which she realized on the second track was _Collision Course_, an EP Linkin Park released the year before.

"You like this music?" she interrupted herself.

"Do you not?" His finger moved toward the eject button.

"No! I do! I just didn't think you would."

He shrugged and relaxed back into his seat. "I'm not a big fan of rap in general, but on top of Linkin Park, Jay-Z sounds pretty good."

"Exactly! The songs enhance one another, right?"

"Absolutely," he said. "Now please continue to explain why evil true love is worth a—fifth reading, you said?"

"You have a black heart."

"No, Heathcliff has a black heart—that's the problem."

"Black and filled with all the colors of the rainbow of love for Cathy."

"Actually, white has all the colors. Color is just light and white reflects all the visible wavelengths of the light around it—"

"No, see Heathcliff is a baser man. He's not about color theory, he's about the color you get when you mix all the paint together on your paper: black. No, not even black. Brown. My favorite color. Just enough softness to get my young heart beating hard."

Edward stared at her, almost laughing, she could tell. "Okay. It's chick lit."

Bella wanted to argue, but she couldn't. "That makes Dickens dick lit, you know."

"Oh, certainly. He is the original dick."

Literature was a much easier topic to maintain and they kept each other smiling all the way back to her house. She made sure not to bring this up, but it was wonderful having someone to talk to that had not only read Wuthering Heights, but also had a firm opinion on it. Even Renée, who shared most of her interests, had introduced many of her interests to her, had no special love of words or stories, and now that she lived in Forks, Charlie, Jacob, and the kids at school didn't even like the idea of something as dense as Brontë. Edward discussed the controversy of incest between Emily and her brother (or was it Charlotte? – "It was definitely Emily," he insisted, "Charlotte was as prudish as a fig.") and the upcoming movie on the lives of the Brontë family (She was firm: "If Jonathon Rhys Meyers was their brother, they were all doing him.").

She was surprised when Edward pulled into her driveway. Time seemed to pass very quickly, but it was almost two in the morning when the tow handler had her truck unloaded and drove away. Charlie came out, slouching and droopy-eyed, and gave Edward a long handshake in thanks.

Edward offered to come by the next day and change the tire. Charlie said they had a spare in the garage and it would be easy job and to that Edward said he could do it now. Charlie laughed. "I think you've played knight in shining silver paintjob enough for one night. You must be exhausted."

Bella giggled because Edward was never tired – she, on the other hand, _was_ very tired. Edward smirked at her, but let it go and got back in his car. "See you on Monday?" she said through his open window.

He nodded firmly. "Unless it's sunny."

"I thought you weren't burned by the sun," she whispered, glancing at Charlie. Leaning against the wooden railing, eyes closed, he was quite possibly asleep on his feet.

"I'm not. But—well, I'll show you sometime."

Despite their decision to be friends, Bella had a hard time imagining a time when he would want to spend time with her, or when she would want to put that much strain on her relationship with Jacob.

"Maybe when you drive me to Portland," she said wistfully.

He took one of her hands in his and squeezed. "It would be a lovelier drive down the state if the sun was shining. Just as conspicuous in Oregon, though." She grinned and wondered what was conspicuous – maybe their skin became transparent in the sun, showing all their frozen innards. His gaze focused away from her for a moment, then looked back. "Jacob's around the corner. You'll want to shower vigorously when you get inside or he won't be able to bare sleeping with you."

"He doesn't sleep with me."

"He will tonight." He bared his teeth, almost a smile, and started the car. Bella stepped back and watched him until he disappeared around a tree.

She helped Charlie up the stairs and into bed, then gathered her toiletries and bathed in hot water and a fresh bar of soap. Jacob was waiting in her room when she came in, restacking some books – he often misaimed when he came through the window and broke something.

"I'm glad you're not dead on the side of the road."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, a very likely option when he _doesn't hunt humans_."

"Just because he _doesn't_ doesn't mean he _won't_."

"Actually, that's exactly what it means. And if he was planning to stray from his diet, he wouldn't do it after he told me to call Charlie to tell him he's driving me home, is he?"

Jacob couldn't argue, and, by his blazing gaze, he was infuriated by that. "He could have left you on the side of the road."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Bella sat down on her bed and watched him pace in front of her, like a dog waiting to be let outside

"I mean after he loaned you his phone. The tow was coming, he didn't need to stay."

"He offered to leave, actually." _Unnecessary time_, she heard repeated in her mind. "I asked him to stay. He's a good guy, Jake. We're friends."

"What brought this on?"

"Well, from the way you and the pack behave, I thought he was an evil—"

"He is evil! The leeches want to _eat_ humans, Bella." He grabbed her shoulders and she shook him to remind him of his own strength. He shook her back, gently. "The cow isn't friends with the farmer. The Cullens could keep this whole town in corrals if it wasn't for the pack—"

"I think the cow is pretty trusting of the farmer, actually—"

"You're smarter than a cow—"

"Oh, thank you, _sweetheart_—"

"—but you're not acting like it."

"—and they _could_ keep us in corrals, but they _don't_. They put their children in the school system, Dr. Cullen saves lives at the hospital—if you would stop listening to your instincts and use your brain, you would see they're doing the best they can. They work harder just to get through the day than you or I can even _imagine_ and—not acting like it? Not _acting _like it, Jacob? You think I'm as dumb as a cow?"

"No, that was thoughtless—" He tried to pet her hair, but she jumped away from him.

"If I wouldn't break my fingers again, I would hit you. I don't even want to look at you!"

Jacob was gone when she turned back. He never left in a fight, not until he felt he won. Had this vampire thing screwed him up that badly? Bella blinked and saw she had the cordless phone in her hand. The door opened.

"Bells, what's going on?" Charlie looked even sleepier than before and Bella winced.

"Sorry, Dad. Just talking to Jacob on the phone."

Charlie smiled, imagining her in a wedding dress and living two blocks away for the next thirty years. "Okay, kiddo. Just keep it down for your old man."

She nodded. As soon as the door closed, Jacob was back in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and put his arms around her. The break Charlie provided let her anger slip away and her body curled into his without thought. "It's just that the bloodsuckers are dangerous, no matter what their credo says. You trip on carpet. I don't want to think about what would happen on a road that rocky."

"It's not that rocky," she said into his shirt. In her mind, she saw herself on a mountain range with Edward (in forest-toned lederhosen, like at the end of _The Sound of Music_), his arms around her every time she fumbled.

"Please," Jacob said. "Please, just don't see him. You have friends – friends whose only danger to you is their unholy lust. I'd prefer it if you spent every second with Mike Newton than _any_ second with the leech."

"Mike will be thrilled to hear it," she said and thankfully Jacob laughed.

"Don't you dare." He organized them on the bed, under just one blanket because Bella got overheated with anything more. She was grateful he hadn't made her promise anything, that his natural confidence made him believe she'd given in without her saying so.

Jacob didn't go to her school, he didn't know what she did there. Jacob didn't know she talked to Anne Lacey, either—no need to bring up cordial conversation. It could be like that between her and Edward.

She really wanted to know what happened to him in the sun.

* * *

1) Did I read somewhere that Esme's baby's name was William, or did I make that up?

2) On the FAQ on her site, Meyer said Linkin Park was the CD Phil gave Bella and Edward had in his car, so that's where my EP choice is based is based. She didn't want to say the band's name in case _Twilight_ wasn't released for years, but I have control over when this fic is released, obviously, and this is formally set in 2005, so I figure I'm good to go.

3) About that Brontë film, in 2005, JRM was in line for the role – as of now (Aug. 08), he's out and the movie itself seems to be in limbo. :(


	3. Interlude 1: Newborn

Interlude: Newborn

_June 2005_

"You look happy." That's all Billy said. And then Jacob started to shake.

Bella started towards him, but Billy grabbed her shirt from behind and held her still. She turned to glare and then looked back a Jacob and started backing up on his own. Now he looked as if he was having a seizure, except he hadn't collapsed. He was crouching down on his haunches, back curved up, his hands scratching at the floorboards and then—digging in, the wood splintering around his fingers. He started to whimper and then the sound became lower, darker, like a growl. There was a ripping sound, his tee-shirt splitting at the bottom his spine. Jacob's body was expanding. More than expanding – exploding, like a whole new body formed around it, covered in dark brown hair covered his body.

"Bella!" Billy's voice penetrated Bella's psyche. He had been yelling since Jacob began shaking, but she heard him as if he was far away, through a tunnel. "Get out of this house right now, Bella! _Now!_"

Jacob's eyes trained on Bella without recognition, his huge new body panting, moving up and down by feet, and she turned and fled out the door without another thought. When she had covered a few yards away from the house, she tripped and fell to the ground. She turned on her back to see if Jacob had come after her, but the house was dark, door closed, curtains shut. Glass shattering broke in the silence of the night and then a howl, like a wolf.

"Bella," someone said softly. She looked up and saw Sam Uley crouching at her side.

The sight of a familiar face shocked her back into reality and she thought— "Billy! Oh my god, I left—"

"Billy's fine," Sam said and wrapped his hands around her arms, squeezing warmly and lifting her to her feet. "Are you all right?"

Bella stuttered out a few incoherent answers and then said, "I-I'm not—hn—hurt. Is Jacob okay?"

"He will be. He'll be just fine. You just need to leave him alone for a little while. Will you come to my home with me? Get you out of this cold, a glass of water. I'd like to tell you a story."

For a month now, Jacob had been worried about this man's behavior, that he was starting a gang, taking control of the reservation, but she nodded and let him lead her to his truck with an arm around her shoulder.

On the way to his house, Sam told Bella a legend that the Quileute tribe were descended from wolves and they had one enemy they called the cold ones.

"Werewolves," Bella said, slowly. "And vampires." Sam nodded. "You're a werewolf?" Sam nodded again. "And Jacob's a werewolf." Another nod. "Are there vampires in La Push?"

"Not right now. A man came to us in the 1930s and we made a treaty with him – he said that he and his family lived off blood of animals and an elder – Jacob's great-grandfather, in fact – agreed that if they never bit a human, we would allow them to live here. He hasn't been back since. I think it was too hard a bargain for him. I can't imagine the leeches can control their craving for human blood."

Bella shivered. Sam didn't have the heater on. Jacob never had his on, either. Maybe werewolves had a higher body temperature than humans. It was even colder outside, but warmer in Sam's house. A woman was at the stove and turned and smiled – as well as she could – as they came in.

"Bella, this is my girlfriend, Emily," Sam said, walking to Emily and delicately kissing her scarred cheek down to her mouth. "Emily, this is Bella, Jacob Black's girlfriend. She just watched Jacob phase for the first time."

"Jacob? That's very early." Emily walked to Bella, standing awkwardly in the doorway, and put an arm around her waist to lead her to the kitchen table. "You poor thing. We weren't expecting Jake to come of age for another year or two."

"Or ever," Sam agreed. "We really don't know why the werewolf gene's been—brought out, I guess you'd say, in some of the tribe. No vampires around here that I can see."

"And he's looked." He laughed, she kissed him on his eye.

Emily and Sam fed her muffins until her curfew, explaining more about the pack Sam had formed with recently changed teenagers Paul and Jared, that he would train Jacob to be as safe and happy with his new gift as possible. When Sam left for the bathroom, Emily's eyes took a steady, serious look.

"Bella, the scars on my face came from Sam. Werewolves are highly volatile and no matter how used to his gift he becomes, Jacob will always have the capacity to kill you without even thinking about it. Now, obviously I've chosen to stay with Sam. That's forever. I don't know that I had a choice. But you need to think about what being with Jacob will mean now. Really think about it." Sam came up behind Emily and rubbed her shoulders, smiled at Bella.

"I'll give you a ride back to your truck if you think you can drive yourself home?"

Bella stood and nodded. "I love Jacob. Would you ask him to call me when he's feeling better?"

Sam and Emily smiled. A few days later, Jacob called her, weak and sick with growth, and when he recovered, double his size of two weeks ago, head sheered, pulsating with verve, they took a walk on the beach and he held her when it got dusky and cold.

She wondered what would have happened if she hadn't seen, if she hadn't been there at all the first time – would Jacob have abandoned her like he had Quil and Embry? In the afternoons she hung around La Push for Jacob to make time for her, she would see Quil and Embry walking together, looking off-balance without Jacob at their side. They might wave and exchange pleasantries, but she couldn't talk to them any more than Jacob could. Well, more easily than Jacob could, of course: she was mentally and physically able. Loyalty stopped her. Fear stopped her, too. It was better just to follow their rules. She tried not to push anyone in the pack too far. A more levelheaded member wouldn't always be able to get to her in time.

End Notes

1) I'm saying that, because of his more flourishing relationship with Bella, he comes of age earlier than in the series, earlier than Embry. James, Victoria, and Laurent come and stay in Forks for a week or so in late April in this universe, killing people, which brings on Sam, Paul, and Jared, plus the gene is preparing for Victoria's anger and her army.


	4. Chapter 3: The Meadow

Chapter 3: The Meadow

Despite the open seat next to Bella in Calculus Monday morning, Edward moved to another desk across the room. She was smiling, but Jacob Black had been very sure all weekend: Bella had seen reason and would avoid Edward as much as possible. In hopes of catching them fighting, Edward checked in on the dog's thoughts frequently – maybe a little obsessively – and had been treated instead to Jacob's tongue's study of Bella's upper body. Did the dog have nothing else to do? Homework, perhaps?

As he moved to sit, though, Bella waved at him and tapped the empty chair. Always put off guard because he couldn't hear her thoughts, he resisted the urge to look behind him for someone else she could be waving at and walked towards her.

She was stunning today. He'd noticed on Saturday that her lips were chapped and accordingly redder than usual, bee-stung. Showing him the same consideration she'd shown her boyfriend, although that probably hadn't occurred to her, she'd showered and changed her sheets when Jacob said goodbye the night before, leaving her smelling almost entirely of herself. Her hair had dried on her pillow and was a little kinked in the back, holding its scent just a little tighter.

Her shirt had a v-neck, like an arrow to her breasts and one particularly luscious vein, smaller, but with steady flow. She'd worn it before and he remembered one day above all, September 17, when he realized he wanted her nipple in his mouth as much as her blood.

Now he certainly wanted it more.

"I'm so glad you're here," Bella said as he sat down. Edward smiled a little, filled with warmth. "I freaked out a couple times yesterday that your family would decide it was best to leave." The warmth flared for a moment at the idea of her freaking out over him, then settled again; teenagers were prone to exaggeration.

In truth, they thoroughly discussed leaving. Edward couldn't leave now, he knew that. He knew too that it would be safer for her if he disappeared from Bella's life. She would forget about him, Jacob's body would forget about vampires all together, and they could live together as long as the fates permitted, aging, fighting, loving.

Instead, he would follow her until she died, protecting her until it was undoubtedly her time to pass. He would stay in the shadows, just watching, rarely interfering… it was the most perfect future he could imagine.

When he arrived home early Sunday morning, he gathered the family together and explained all he'd learned about the werewolves and Bella's knowledge. Without pause, he warned he was staying, although leaving was almost certainly the right thing to do.

Rosalie spoke up first, arguing they – all – leave. Alice wanted to stay and Jasper quietly supported her. Jasper would support her in anything, but he made sure Edward heard clearly that he hoped to stay near him as long as possible. Edward understood. He was very happy to have this family and he didn't want to separate from them, but Bella was more important than anything. Finally, he understood Jasper's behavior. Carlisle argued that they made the treaty for a reason and it was not to run away at the first sign of challenge.

If vampires produced tears, Esme would have been crying, along with petting his hair, and murmuring she was so happy he'd found her. "Her?" he'd asked. Bella of course, but also, according to Esme, his love, his soul's match, the one who made him change. Edward wondered if his soul could match with Bella's, while hers found a better match in someone else – this is why he knew he was lost to God. What intelligent design that considered Edward let him live this long without her love at the end?

Emmett stayed quiet the longest, and finally voted to stay. Rosalie felt betrayed for only a few moments, then dropped into his lap so she could pout. "Go get her, man," Emmett concluded the conversation. "Don't be a little pussy."

Later that afternoon, while Edward was rereading _Dr. Zhivago_, Carlisle came into his room to say his piece for love. "I wanted to give Esme a normal life, too, remember," he said. "It wasn't meant to be for either of us."

"I am not you, Carlisle. Not so good, nor so lucky."

"And not so stupid to leave her alone against the wilds of humanity—or is it stupid to torture yourself?"

Edward considered it seriously once again, then shrugged. "Less stupid."

"I suppose that's the most a father can hope for. That his children take the road less stupid." Carlisle sighed and flipped through the worn copy of _Zhivago_, thin pages yellow and stained. "Why read this, though?"

"You're right," Edward said, tossing the book away. "Julie Christie will look better in a turtleneck than me no matter how hard I try. Actually, Bella bought it in Seattle."

Carlisle laughed, but it wasn't very funny. Edward hoped Bella never saw the similarities to her own life in the story. _If Jacob keeps her as busy as he did yesterday,_ Edward thought, as he studied Bella's exposed skin for evidence, _she won't have time to read it at all_.

Edward's gaze went to the door of the classroom when Jessica walked in, thinking his name forcefully. _Maybe he's trying to get back in my good graces through Bella._ Edward almost laughed, but this wasn't very funny either. Jessica Stanley was annoying.

She took the seat in front of him and twisted her body around to give him the best view possible of—everything. He had no idea what he did to hearten her, but suddenly he heard, _HA! There, he's desperate. I can give him a little_—and then there were no more thoughts because she was talking. About due dates. Was this meant to be enticing conversation? He didn't even want to know Bella's policies on due dates.

He looked at Bella. She was biting her ring finger and smiling helpfully at Jessica, sending Edward glances of quick raised-eyebrow camaraderie. He wondered if she'd ever faked sick to skip a test or turning in an assignment. He wondered where her fingertips touched the notebook paper in front of her, where his could match up with hers if he touched it, too.

Jessica's staccato laugh pulled him from his thoughts. "—health online, right? And assignments are due at midnight of—date, like _blank_ date. The date—you know? And _I _think they mean twelve a.m. the night _before_, the true midnight of that date, you know? But they mean twelve a.m. _that night_, the next day's midnight and I was telling my mom about it and my mom was like, 'I don't know.' Ha! It's crazy." What? Jessica shook her head and winked a dimple at him. Edward knew it was polite to do more than frown at her, but it was more important not to encourage her. There was silence and then she said, "So—how was _your _weekend?"

"Um—" Bella licked her lips. Edward's stomach tightened. "I went to Seattle."

"With _Jacob_?" Jessica squinted at Edward pointedly

"No, alone. But I got a flat tire on the way home and _Edward_ was on the way back, too and he saved my butt with his cell phone."

Jessica squealed and asked if Bella was okay, was it late, was it scary, then, "Hey, what were you doing in Seattle, Edward?"

He thought of Bella's ingenious lie to her father the night before and said, "I volunteer at a blood bank over there sometimes. It's a lot more necessary in a city that big than in Forks."

"That's so incredible. A true hero." Oh, if this was the wilderness, Mike would have jumped on him and aimed for the jugular. The little mouse would have died in the effort, so Edward was grateful the class was called to order then.

At the bell, Jessica got five words into an invitation to sit with her at lunch before he left as he walked just a bit quicker than humanly possible with a parting smile for Bella. He considered asking her to sit with his family, but Jasper hadn't fed in over a week and Rosalie would likely spill hot cheese on Bella's lap.

Alice sighed when he got behind her in line for food. "Why didn't you invite her? Jasper's very in control today and you caught the nachos before they landed. We had a lovely time. Now it's all the usual silent staring." Edward sunk his thumb into the core of an apple and imagined Bella licking away the juice.

Senior English, between lunch and Biology, went horrendously slowly, as always. They were studying _Beowulf_ and Ms. Mitchell hated it, but instead of finishing the requirement as quickly as possible, she stretched it out to try to push herself and the class to _appreciate_ literature. It was a painful exercise.

To make matters worse, Ms. Mitchell had been popular and attractive as a younger woman and taught high school because she missed being a student. She regularly fantasized about going the way of Debra LaFave with his nubile young body. Sometimes she even imagined being arrested, a parade of police cruisers and flashing lights in front of the school, Chief Swan handcuffing her and putting her in the back of the car, Edward watching from the street with wide eyes and a single tear. Ms. Mitchell was great at multitasking and could lecture on _Beowulf _while developing this kind of fantasy in her pauses. To keep his mind from hers, he had to focus completely on the Geats and Grendel, which was only marginally less aggravating.

Mr. Banner was a great relief after that. Although not very clever, he had too much contempt for his students to find any of them attractive and most inappropriate thoughts Edward happily agreed with. Ming Hsu did need to stop working for her father's approval. Lauren Mallory did need to learn her breasts wouldn't get her everything she wanted in life. Every student he suspected of cheating did cheat, even Edward.

Bella's presence was also a relief. It had been since the beginning of the year, but especially today because she would look at him, smile at him, talk to him, for the first time in thirty-three days.

"Hi," she said and her bare arm brushed his as she sat down. They each told an amusing anecdote from their day so far and then spent the rest of the hour taking notes. At the end of class, he walked her to her car. At his estimation, he spent two hours that day in her presence and seven minutes talking to her. If he wasn't going to avoid her for her own good, Edward was hoping for a little more time with her than this.

Could he ask her out somewhere? No, it would seem like too much of a date. She probably had plans anyway. And it had only been one day of _friendship_ – some fifteen hours and thirty-eight minutes a week would be plenty of time. He was lucky for every second.

They stood talking for a few minutes more at her truck, until he quite stupidly said, "It's good to see Charlie could repair the flat without my help."

"Oh, no, Jacob did it," she corrected him and neither of them knew what to say. Bella cleared her throat and pointed behind him. "It looks like your family's waiting for you."

Of course they were, standing at their appropriate car doors and staring at them. Bella blushed, flooding the unmoving air with the smell of her blood. He nodded. "I should go."

He turned from her and walked away, but she called out, "I'm glad—we're friends," and made him stop. There were no words, only the desperate urge to press her body to his, so he didn't say anything, just smiled and waved back to her.

_Pathetic, chasing after that kind of perfection_, from Lauren; s_ome kind of loyal friend she is_, from Jessica; _poor Jake doesn't have a hearty snowman's chance in hell_, from Angela, as they all skipped and giggled over to Bella. She didn't look away from him until Jessica pounced on her and by the time she looked back, he'd hidden himself behind the tinted windows of the Volvo.

"Get on the freeway," Emmett ordered as they drove behind the cars in line to leave.

"Why?" He was distracted, watching Bella through the rearview mirror. He was explaining their conversation away as homework help. What was Emmett even doing at school?

"Because some uncontrollable beast broke your car and you need to get a new one," Rosalie said_. _

Edward fingered the broken ends as he guided the wheel to the left. It wasn't classy, but he liked the memories hidden in the steering wheel, even if they had more to do with hate for Jacob than love for Bella. It reminded him of he could crush Jacob just that way, that stupid, precious Bella trusted him not to hurt her.

_Edward! That's not healthy_, Alice thought. Emmett was grumbling that Edward would insist on another boring silver Volvo. Edward considered just driving home, let them sneak around to get the new car and get rid of the old, but he'd probably end up with a fuchsia Maserati that way, so he dutifully got on the one-oh-one east towards Tacoma. He had driven on this road with Bella so recently and it was nice to be able to go at a comfortable one hundred and fifty miles per hour, just sitting with his family. Bella made him feel on edge, acutely aware of every nerve on his body and hers. It made it so, comparatively, he felt less alive with everyone else, but—he wasn't alive. He didn't deserve the feelings she brought out in him.

Emmett and Rosalie insisted on selling the old Volvo to Goodfella's Motor Company and Alice, Jasper, and Edward went to the Volvo dealership. It _was_ boring to get the newer model of the same car, so he added on all the bells and whistles he could. Most of it was useless – he didn't really need windshield wipers to see through a storm, let alone rain sensors – but they were all cool accessories anyway. Perhaps Bella would be impressed.

"Now, doesn't this feel better?" Rosalie said once they were all in back in the new car. It was a slightly smoother ride, but it really didn't. New car smell was irritating. He couldn't wait for the scents of his family to overtake the air.

"Road trip!" Alice called out. "We're going on a road trip!"

Edward quickly checked everyone's minds that they were interested and got on the freeway north. "Hunting in Canada?" he offered.

Around four in the morning, everyone was ready to continue hunting wolves in British Columbia through the next afternoon, perhaps visit Tanya's family while they were nearer to the boarder, but Edward wanted to be back in Forks in time for school. He offered to leave the car for them and run back alone and Jasper offered to run with him.

"It'll look weird if we're all absent," was his excuse, but when they lived as nomadically as they did, a reputation for weirdness wasn't a problem. His real reason came out a few miles from the boarder.

"What you're feeling—" he said at human speeds, purposefully slowly when they were running this fast. Would everyone in the family wax romantic to him? "For Bella, I mean. It's not normal. It doesn't happen everyday or to everyone. And you're wasting it."

Edward put a hand on Jasper's shoulder and stopped them, to speak with him face-to-face. It was nearly dawn, velvet blue hiding the stars, little spikes of yellow and purple light at the horizons. "She's human and healthy. She's in love with someone else. I admit she also has feelings for me and I admit that my feelings for her are likely the strongest I will ever feel, I don't think—I don't know that her feelings are so strong as mine—"

"_I_ don't think it works that way—" Edward was ready to interrupt him, but, as it often seemed Jasper was just as aware of Edward's thoughts as Edward was aware of his, he continued, "Not because of the lord above, but because of my experience with vampires. Have you met one of our kind, morose, wishing for his otherwise occupied mate? No."

"Perhaps every mated pair of our kind don't feel to the extent that you and Alice—" but Edward had to trail off. He knew very well that two vampires in love gave off a sense of contentment that was unmistakable. Very few humans had a chance to find it in their lifetimes. "Bella is in love with someone else. She deserves a choice. She deserves to choose him."

"She deserves to spend eternity with her soul mate. You're it, Edward. Be a man and fight for her. Or leave her alone and let her settle in with second best."

Jasper's gaze was too much and Edward started running toward Forks, again. Jasper let the subject lie and engaged him in a game of extreme polly-frog, leveraging himself onto Edward's shoulders and jumping some sixty feet in front of him, then bending forward on landing, to give Edward a plank for his jump. As they made their way down the country, they got more creative with back flips and tricks off tree branches. It was entertaining until they neared the boarder, where it was trickier to avoid populated areas.

They made it back to Forks with enough time to shower and change and check in with Carlisle and Esme. If Edward hadn't surveyed their minds before entering, he and Jasper would have caught them making interesting use of the kitchen. _Why not?_ he thought. They didn't use the stove for anything else and the burners probably did feel stimulating against their cold, invulnerable skin. It was still gross, though. And indecent.

What sort of unusual places had Bella and the dog enjoyed themselves? The beach, perhaps. Or the woods. That would feel natural to Jacob. Edward marveled at his own blasé speculation on the way to school, then remembered Jasper in the driver's seat of his Saab. This was going to hurt so much more when his brother released control of his emotions. As they separated into different entrances of the school, he was proven right, an ache to rub out Jacob's touch from her body filling him until he saw her again.

* * *

The highlight of Bella's day was the first time she saw Edward. Most days it was in Calculus, walking in to see his eyes light up in recognition or her reward for her own staring at the doorway, waiting for him to fill it with his big, powerful form. But some days she saw him before class, walking through the hall before first and second period, or standing at his car when she pulled into the parking lot early.

When Bella first realized this, sitting at her desk in Calculus, waiting for Edward to arrive, she tried to reason it was just one of the highlights. Seeing Edward, the last ten minutes of gym, turning in a well-written essay, every time she successfully started the engine in her truck, Jacob's kiss hello. These were many little things that reminded her life was good.

Then Edward walked in and she had to admit this simply wasn't true. Nothing else compared to the spark she felt when she took in the color of his eyes that day, the way his hair fell across his forehead, what color shirt he wore, how his pants fit down his muscular legs, then his scent when he came close enough to her. Bella's body hummed when she saw him, like a machine turning on, finally working again.

Jacob's scent did something to her, too, but it was very much like how she felt when she walked into Charlie's house after a weekend away. Charlie's house smelled warm, clean, faintly fishy, like _home_ and, unless something was wrong, her back relaxed a little, her feet felt more prepared, less likely to lead her to a clumsy mess. If anything, the smell of Edward made her feel more unsteady, like she might fall out of her chair or somehow catapult herself out the window.

It was insane. She saw Edward maybe five times a day, talked to him less than that. Was this love? Could it be when she knew so little about him? She refused to believe it was. She was in love with Jacob. This was just an infatuation.

Bella was content with this conclusion. It was still betraying Jacob, but only a little. He would never know, so it would never hurt him. She would never act on her infatuation, so there would never be anything to know.

This was fine until Mr. Banner showed a movie during class.

It was an unsuspecting lunch. Jessica whispered to Bella as they sat down with food treys that Lauren thought she might be pregnant, so it was very busy with things other than staring at Edward. She did that a lot when she hated him, but now that they were friends, she did it even more. It felt like they were sitting together, even though they probably never would. Government next period was taken up with notes back and forth with Jessica. Who was the father, for example, has Lauren had been unhappily single for the past three months. Bella had never liked Lauren and generally ignored gossip about her – and most people, really – but this was just too big. And too good. Laruen would be the most unfortunate expecting mother imaginable, and, original sin or not, no baby deserved that.

Edward was already at their desk when she walked into Biology. She had just sat down when he passed a note to her. He had the most beautiful, neat handwriting. It said, _Lauren's lying, trying to get attention. She has family visiting from the east coast, featuring an attractive, younger cousin. Last night, she made out with him and he ejaculated in his pants. Even she knows sperm isn't that resilient, but she's playing it out, anyway._

Bella snorted, trying to contain her laughter. Edward smiled and took the note back, then crumpled it up into an impossibly tight little ball and tossed it into the garbage bin by the door. There was a _clunk-click _and Mr. Banner pushed in a tall metal frame holding a TV, longer in back than the screen was tall, and a VCR with missing buttons. A few jocks clapped. Mr. Banner relaxed at his desk as Mathilda Yorkie put in the tape and used a bobby pin to press play and fast-forward it to the main feature.

As the credits started, Bella noticed her hand was two inches from Edward's hand, maybe less. Their knees were nearly so close under the table. It would be wrong to hook her knee over his, to be sure, but was it so wrong to hold his hand? It was so dark, no one would notice. It would be like it never happened.

Bella glanced at his face to see if he was showing any opinion, but got lost in his mouth, a little open, the peach fuzz at his temples, his bright eyes—it felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Bella turned back around and fisted her hands. She would not touch him. Every muscle was tense in effort not to move toward him. If they touched accidentally, she didn't know what she'd do. Despite the drafty window in the back of the room and the general cold of his nearness, Bella felt overheated, like her simple cotton shirt was too much to have against her body.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest and angled his body a little more away from her. She ached to reach out and stop him, to pull him closer, but stopped herself. He was right, even that little space more made it easier to breathe.

When Mr. Banner turned the lights on again, Bella stood up right away, under the pretense of stretching, but she tripped backwards. After all that, she ended up in his arms anyway, classic movie ballroom-style, her head a few inches from the floor, Edward at her side cradling her neck and the small of her back. The class erupted in catcalls, thank goodness, or she would have wrapped her legs around his waist or something equally bad.

"I'm sure I'd be dead if it wasn't for him," Bella called out and waved.

Edward walked her to her through the parking lot, as usual, it seemed wrong to just say goodbye, like watching an action movie and leaving the theater before the hero's final shootout. But there was nothing else to do, so she just got in her truck. "See you tomorrow."

He smiled and closed her door. She rolled down the window most of the way. "Unless it's sunny."

With her in the raised seat, their faces were almost level. It would be so easy to kiss him like this, no stretch at all. Edward was grimacing. She worried he was in physical pain as he ran a finger over the top of the window, moved his gaze over her face. He turned and walked away quickly before she could ask him if he was okay.

That night, Jacob was free from training, so she went to La Push. They took a few hours to do their homework and eat chili and cornbread with Billy, then cuddled on the couch and watched Comedy Central until her curfew. It was a perfectly wonderful evening, but compared to that afternoon, her body felt dead. Even near the end, when Billy went to bed and Jacob started kissing her neck, it wasn't as much exciting as it was… pleasant. After nearly six months of practice, Jacob knew how to use his mouth, but their physical life had gone right from awkward to routine. It was an unavoidable fact: touching Jacob was less stimulating than _not _touching Edward.

Once again, she thought, _what am I doing here then? _There was nothing stopping her from breaking up with Jacob and asking Edward out on a date.

Jacob pulled away from her and stroked her temples with his fingertips. He smiled, a _real_ smile, her smile, not the half-smirk he'd developed hanging out with the pack, then rubbed their noses together and kissed her lightly on the mouth. It tickled and maybe, hopefully, sparked. Bella sighed and pulled him down on top of her again, wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Jacob had opened the windows before sitting with her on the couch to keep her from being overheated. He was a wonderful boyfriend, that's what she was doing there.

Infatuation, she reminded herself. Yes, maybe Jacob seemed like milk compared to the finest wine, but he was _great _milk, organic and ice cold, in a good-looking cup, and could you really live on wine?

When she walked into Biology the next day, the TV was still set up. Bella had no idea they hadn't finished the movie yesterday or even what it was about, but dreaded sitting through another hour in the dark with Edward. Could she fake sick? Maybe just walk quickly across the room, she was sure to fall and get herself a pass to the nurse. But then Edward came up behind her and smiled and Bella couldn't help but sit down next to him.

Her reaction to him was just as bad as the day before. She felt ravenous, with Edward right there to eat if she just reached out and put him in her mouth. Today though, it only got worse when Mr. Banner turned the lights on, as if highlighting every reason she wanted to touch him, making her itchy to find them another place where they were alone, really alone, instead of the simulated seclusion of the dim, blue light of the television screen.

She almost told him not to walk her to her car, just to get away from the temptation faster, but she reminded herself this was supposed to be about more than her infatuation. It was supposed to be about friendship and his walking her to her car was a sweet gesture of that. But then they were in the exact same position as yesterday, Bella sitting in the car with the window down, Edward standing outside the door, looking like he'd been stabbed in the foot.

Before she realized what she was doing, she reached out her hand toward his face. He had a curl hanging in front of one eye and she wanted to tuck it behind his ear, or maybe just touch it. Edward stopped her, taking her by the elbow, so her wrist was almost touching his face. He moved it to his nose first and took a long breath, then moved it down to his mouth and pressed the lightest kiss against her pulse. He released her, but Bella couldn't move, could still feel the imprint of the kiss, the icy burn of his lips.

"It's not enough," Edward whispered.

"What's not?" Not enough to just smell her blood? she wondered. At that moment, she was ready to find a private place and let him kill her if it made him feel better.

"Fifteen hours and thirty-eight minutes. It's not enough time with you." In the back of her mind, she wanted to calculate what that meant, but she was too lost in his gaze, her thoughts a drum beat of _yes, more time, Edward, yes._ "Are you busy tomorrow?" She shook her head right away. It didn't matter if she was. "Will you go somewhere with me?"

"Yes."

She could tell he was relieved, but it looked more like he was going to cry. "What time?"

"Charlie's going fishing—any time after he leaves." Edward frowned. "He'll tell Billy—Jacob's dad. I think it's better I beg forgiveness instead of permission."

"I'll pick you up early, then. Say eight o'clock?" That wasn't early. Charlie would leave at seven, so Edward could pick her up at seven-oh-five if he wanted to. Bella just nodded. "Tell _someone_, okay? Jessica. That we're studying for biology. She'll tell everyone."

"Why?"

"Witnesses." He wasn't smiling. Bella shivered, but more out of exhilaration than fear. One side of his mouth quirked up in something of a departing grin, then he turned and left. His family was around the car. They weren't smiling either. It was better that they didn't like her – no need to get _more _attached to what she'd never have.

She busied herself making blackened fish, twice-baked potatoes, and a chocolate soufflé for dinner. Charlie and Billy and she and Jacob had a standing double date on Friday nights. They all ate together, then the men found something to watch on ESPN and she and Jacob entertained themselves on her bed. It was weird to fool around with her boyfriend while her father was downstairs, but Charlie was stupidly supportive of her relationship, never more than clucking his tongue at her more obvious love bites.

Eventually, Charlie asked if they had any plans for the weekend. "I'm going to Jessica's on Saturday," she said. "Jessica wants to do manicures and watch _Clueless_ and eat ice cream and other girly stuff, just me and Jessica so… I'll be with Jessica tomorrow. I'm excited to hang out with Jessica."

Though everyone looked a little worried about her, if something went wrong tomorrow, they would all confidently tell the police she was supposed to be with Jessica.

She was distracted the rest of the evening, but, thankfully, Jacob didn't say anything. Maybe he was distracted, too. Bella couldn't remember.

Sleep was elusive that night, making her chase after it, even in her dreams. She was grateful when she woke up to the sound of the cruiser leaving the driveway and had reason to get up. The light coming in her window was strange because, she realized, there were little patches of blue in the gray sky. It wasn't sunny by any means, but there was hope for sun. She was glad it wasn't a school day or Edward probably wouldn't have come.

She looked a little sick in the mirror, but she felt wonderful, like her blood was singing under her skin. Hopefully it wasn't actually doing anything special, something that would make Edward more uncomfortable around her. She ate a bowl of cereal, then took a shower to wash off Jacob's smell, which was certainly still in her sheets, and put on clean clothes. That left a half-hour until Edward was due to arrive. Under the sink in the bathroom, behind extra toilet paper and a can of Comet, Bella had once found a faded turquoise blow dryer, covered in dust. Her mother must have left it there, back in the 80s, but with nothing else to do, she decided to try it out.

Her hair turned out huge, though she wouldn't say it had "volume" so much as static. Each strand wanted to float away from the others. In the end, there was nothing to do but tie it back in a bun and even that looked fluffier than usual. Bella was tempted to throw the hair-dryer away, but poor Charlie might have had a sentimental reason for keeping it.

At seven fifty-five, Bella checked for Edward out the window. He was standing in front of the house, looking at the first story window and smiling. Bella grabbed her purse and ran outside. "Where's your car?" she said.

"You told Charlie you're going to Jessica's." He shrugged. "Your car shouldn't be here, so you're driving."

"How did you get here?"

"I ran."

"You ran." At first, she was surprised to find out he was a runner, wondered if he entered marathons, if vampire agility made athletic shoes unnecessary as she looked at his immaculate Oxfords. Then she remembered how quickly Jacob could run when he was in wolf-form. "Oh, you run really fast."

He laughed "Want a ride?"

"Here?"

"No, not here. I'll take you somewhere more private." Bella blushed, some lurid images of _riding him_, privately and publically, coming to mind. Edward's eyes widened. "Not—I'm sorry. Shall we go?"

She nodded and hurried to get in the car and away from the wordplay. "Where to?"

"Take the one-oh-one north." They started out of Charlie's neighborhood. "I should have had you hide this thing. Do you know you're allowed to go faster?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like to find your own way there, roadrunner? I'm sure I could follow your directions." Bella turned to glare at him, but the seat next to her was empty. Her breath caught in her throat. The beautiful vampire had disappeared. Was she insane? Realizing she was swerving, Bella turned her gaze back to the road. The turn off for the one-oh-one was to her right and, almost hyperventilating, she took it. She looked at the passenger seat again and Edward was back.

"Look at that. You can follow directions."

Bella screamed and moved to hit him, but stopped before she hurt herself.

"Running would be a lot faster," he said. "But I suppose I can enjoy the ride."

"Never do that again." Her nose was burning and, mortified, she realized she was crying with relief. She rubbed her cheeks with her sleeve.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered. "I didn't want to scare you. It was very stupid to show off."

"Yes, it was." She laughed and grabbed his hand, trying to comfort him. "No harm done, I promise. It's a cool trick."

He was absolutely adorable when he was disgusted with himself, looking something like a pouting child. She linked their fingers and squeezed, searched for something else to talk about.

"You are so ridiculous!" he said before she could think of anything. "I terrify you for the sake of one-upmanship and you hold my hand?" He took her by the wrist and put her hand on the steering wheel. "You should be insisting to go home, spending time with your normal friends who can't appear to disappear—"

"_Appear_ to disappear," she repeated. "So that wasn't just vampirical teleportation?" It was a sort of grasping change of subject – she didn't really think he could bend space and time, but it worked.

"No! Just a very quick open and closing the door." She grinned at him and he grudgingly grinned back. "Okay, you forgive me. Thank you. You turn right on the one-ten in a few minutes."

His directions eventually led her to a thin trailhead. "You're taking me on a nature walk?" She hoped she didn't sound as scared as she was. Sprained ankles were not what she'd hoped for the afternoon.

"Not exactly. It's not a bad hike, just five miles." Edward unfastened his seat belt and opened the door, but Bella didn't move. "We don't have to go."

"Why do you want to take me?"

"It's a special place to me. It will be really beautiful when the sun comes out which should happen—some time today."

She sighed. She wanted to go to a place that was special to him. "I want to go. But I'm warning you now, I'm a bad hiker. That trail looks pretty smooth," she said, hopefully. He winced.

"We're not taking the trail, actually. I could carry you."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not an infant."

"I wouldn't run with an infant. I'm terrified of babies – sometimes their own little bodies crush them_selves_. But I'm sure I can carry you."

Bella wasn't convinced – Jacob had offered to give her a ride on his back and she'd refused. Jacob, as a werewolf, was built much more like a horse than Edward. Still, she got out of the truck and stood in front of him. "How do you expect to do this – over the threshold style?"

He shook his head and turned so they were standing front-to-back. "Piggyback. Climb on."

Hesitantly, she put her hands on his shoulders. "I'm pretty heavy." He laughed, took her hands in his and pulled down until she was holding herself with the muscles of her upper arms, then wrapped her legs around his hips. She didn't even consider if she was hurting him. It was like climbing on a statue.

"Here we go," he said and they were off.

She was wrong, he didn't run fast. He flew. His steps were too quick to even bend a blade of grass, not that she could see those kinds of details. It was like a green watercolor painting rushing all around her, a branch coming into focus every few seconds, swooping down to hit her and somehow missing at the last second. Bella was too scared to close her eyes, as if seeing her impending death would make dying better.

She couldn't make herself let go when they stopped, and Edward helped her down and on to a low rock. She leaned her head back against a tree to stop the dizziness and stretched out her limbs, sore from being clenched for so long.

"We'll have to work on that," he said. "Make it more fun for you. It's exhilarating. It will be for you, too, once you get used to it."

"Yes, we'll certainly be doing that again," she said, shaking her head in the negative. He laughed, unconcerned. She took a deep breath and looked around. "I can see why you wanted to take me here. This is a nice bit of forest." He laughed more heartily.

"No, this isn't it. I thought you should walk into it."

A few yards ahead, there was a flood of yellow light. Bella stood up, a little unsteady and started forward. Edward was right behind her, ready to catch her if she tripped. He skipped ahead and pulled back a curtain of ferns and she walked into the most beautiful little meadow. It wasn't perfectly clear today – was it ever, in Forks? – but little spotlights of sunshine illuminated chartreuse green grass and wildflowers. She felt a tickling of recognition and then realized – those were the flowers she had been given for her birthday.

"You!" she whispered. "I wanted it to be you, but there was no way I was that special—" She turned to look at him, but he'd stepped back into the shadows. "What's wrong?"

"Of course you're that special, Bella," he said. She stepped forward, into a line of sunlight and closed her eyes against its warmth and Edward's penetrating gaze. It was incredible feeling that again, being a little hot in her sweater.

When she opened her eyes again, Edward was right in front of her. At first she worried she was going blind, then accepted that it really was his skin, glittering like tiny diamonds or intricately cut crystal. Bella reached out and touched her fingertips to his skin. She didn't know what she was expecting – she had touched him before and he still felt hard and smooth – perhaps that his skin formed millions of little indents in the sun to create the sparkling reflection.

"You're beautiful."

"I don't scare you?"

"Even paradise is scary, I think," she said, running her hands over his face. She watched him carefully to make sure she wasn't creating too much of a temptation for him.

"That's because paradise is fleeting, easily lost." Edward's voice was always musical, but it had a rough edge.

_Take it! _It wasn't a thought, it was a scream through her whole being. _Take paradise, it's right there!_

But Bella stepped back.

"There you go," Edward said. He smiled too widely. "Sit down, enjoy the sunshine."

They spent the rest of the day talking. In the late afternoon, the clouds parted for the sun completely and it was so warm and comfortable, Bella closed her eyes. Edward started to hum a piece that might have been by Händel – she was proud of even that vague guess – and she drifted off. Like the night before, she was frequently in and out of sleep, but this wasn't like a chase, but a dance, Edward the orchestra, the dance floor, her partner.

It was getting dark when came to full consciousness again. Edward was petting her hair. She tried to keep her heartbeat steady, to keep him touching her, but he backed off right away.

"We should leave," he said.

She sat up. "I need to make dinner for Charlie."

"I kept you from lunch." He winced apologetically. "I'm sorry, you must be starving."

Bella shrugged. "You've been hungry all day, too, right?"

"The damned are allowed to be hungry."

Flying with him back to her truck was not nearly so bad with her eyes closed, but the combination of sleeping on it and running with it at some seventy miles per hour forced her hair out of its bun. She stumbled to the side view mirror to check the damage and the wind had only made the size worse.

"I thought it smelled burnt," Edward said, bending down to look at her reflection. "What happened?"

"I'm bad at being a girl." She opened the driver side door and got in. Edward shut it for her and was sitting next to her before she put her seat belt on. "Oh, I was supposed to be doing girly things with Jessica. This is not a realistic product."

"I think she's bad at being a girl, too."

When they arrived at her house, Bella didn't want to let him go. It was a bad idea to invite him in – Charlie was probably still a fan of Edward's from the flat tire rescue, but if her father thought he was a threat to her and Jacob's happily ever after, he would get defensive. Plus, the less Jacob knew the better.

"Thank you for a wonderful day," she said.

"Thank you, Bella. Good night." He smiled and then he was gone.

She woke up the next day to the same bursts of sunlight. It was a rare afternoon that was fitting for the beach and Bella decided to go to La Push. Jacob promised to find time for her, but she knew not to expect much and brought some textbooks along. At noon, he brought her lunch and later in the afternoon, he pushed her up against a rock and kissed her for a few minutes. Bella finished all her Government and History reading.

This wasn't an uncommon day. She frequently spent the weekend in La Push because forty-five spaced out minutes with Jacob was better than spending the day alone. Today, though, she felt lonely. Having Edward's undivided attention for ten straight hours yesterday had spoiled her. She made a pillow out of her jacket in the bed of her truck, lay down and stared at the flowers hanging in her car through the back window. She smiled.

The meadow was worth it.

End Notes

1) Gorgeous: /watch?vBSgryyxp-cg


	5. Chapter 4: Intruder

Chapter 4: Intruder

This year, for the first time, Forks High was offering a class on Shakespeare to fulfill the senior English requirement. For the sake of sword fighting during extra credit performances, Mike and Tyler decided to take it. For the sake of an excuse to kiss them, months after their respective relationships ended, Lauren and Jessica signed up for it, too. Angela wanted to take it for purer reasons and convinced Bella to take it with her.

As a result, fifth period Shakespeare was something of an extended lunch. Mr. South was seven months from retiring and held a grudge against the students that they kept him there that much longer, so it wasn't much of an intellectual loss to be distracted by teen angst.

They were now studying _The Taming of the Shrew_, which was getting Jessica riled up in women's rights and every guy in school calling her a shrew and laughing hysterically. Jessica was complaining about it in Calculus when Edward interrupted, "You know that _10 Things I Hate About You_ is based on _Taming of the Shrew_."

Bella grinned. "He's right. Julia Stiles is not a terrible comparison."

"Oh, Edward," Jessica said. "You're so clever. You know what we should do? We should have a study party and watch it."

"I don't know if that's really considered studying…" Bella started, but Jessica wasn't deterred.

"And _you _have to come, Edward, because you came up with the idea."

Edward politely refused the invitation, but everyone else thought it was a fantastic plan. They agreed to do it at Mike's house because the Newton TV room was in the basement, private at the worst of times, but even more so on Wednesday night because his parents were at sporting goods conference. Bella's friends at school were not exactly a wild bunch – Tyler's older brother might buy him some beer to bring to the event, but in Phoenix Bella might have rightly expected this sort of event to turn into an orgy – but even abstemious teenagers wanted to be alone to watch a movie together. Earlier curfews regardless, they planned for Wednesday.

At lunch that afternoon, the cafeteria table was buzzing with anticipation. Mike was dividing his attention between Bella and Jessica, trying to warm one or the other up enough to cuddle with him during the movie. Bella remembered a La-Z-Boy at Mike's house that had been useful for cutting off attention during his birthday party over the summer and planned on using it again tonight.

Across the room, the vampire table were all looking at Alice. That was unusual. They generally seemed to lose themselves in their own thoughts at lunchtime, probably to avoid revealing conversation. Everyone around them was certainly ready to eavesdrop at the slightest opportunity. Edward began talking very fast, his mouth seeming to be vibrating more than moving.

"Oh, yeah!" Tyler said. "Owen came through with a couple six packs." Bella sighed, wishing she hadn't agreed to come at all. Everyone else cheered, then went silent.

She looked up from her cold chicken nuggets to see Edward standing at the end of the table. No one said anything. Edward smiled. "Hi, everyone." He sounded like he was singing, his voice was so pure. "Jessica, is the invitation still open to join the party tonight?"

Jessica stuttered. Mike's mouth was hanging open, but he managed to say, "Hey, it's at my house."

"Would you mind if I came?"

"Ah—" Mike looked dizzy.

"No!" Lauren was almost shouting. "He doesn't mind! No one minds!"

Edward directed his gorgeous crooked smile at Mike who looked to be near fainting. "No—I mean, sure. No problem."

"Thanks." Edward winked at the table at large, sent a more real smile to Bella, and then went back to his own table.

"That was really weird," Tyler said. Everyone looked dazed, as if a unicorn had run through the room.

"I wonder what changed his mind?" said Angela. Jessica threw back her shoulders and grinned at Mike, hoping for jealousy. He didn't notice, more observant and looking at Bella like he wanted to hide her in his pocket.

Bella doubted it had much to do with her, though. Edward had to know that he only had to raise an eyebrow and she'd cancel on the movie and spend the evening with him. Why would he want to subject himself to Jessica's flirting and Mike's possessiveness, not to mention the general inane conversation, if he didn't have to?

"Those Cullens are creeps," Mike said. "I should have said 'no.'"

Jessica looked a little affronted, but it was clear everyone shared his opinion. Edward had told her once that most people were subconsciously afraid of them, just as they'd be weary of any predator. Bella was missing this instinct, but she supposed she couldn't be annoyed with her friends for their normalcy.

She asked Edward about his reasons in Biology, but he just shrugged. "It's a funny movie and I get to spend time with you. Why not go?" Bella was flattered, but something was missing. She let it go, for now.

"Do you want to come to my house around seven? You can follow me to Mike's."

"I can figure out how to get there," he said. Bella felt stupid. Of course he could. It was a small town and there were simple directions to be found in Mike's thoughts. "But, sure, I'll be there at seven o'clock."

Sam Uley had business in Forks that afternoon and drove Jacob to her house after school. She told him Edward was coming to the movie night right away. She was grateful to tell him the things that were out of her control, a chance to be honest without him getting too upset.

"Can I come, then?" he said.

It would be smart to invite him in a lot of ways. Mike made an effort to back off for a while when he saw her with her huge boyfriend and maybe her libido would back off Edward for the same reason. Still, the idea of having Jacob and Edward both in the same room made her woozy. "You're not in the class, Jake. And they don't know you because you _usually _hate hanging out with them."

Jacob growled. "I'm supposed to be practicing in-tree combat with the pack tonight, anyway." He went back to his math homework for a second, then looked back at her. "But if the leech touches you, I'll kill him. And if he kills one of your little buddies, don't come crying me."

"You won't kill him if he kills Mike?"

"I'll shake his hand if he kills Newton. If _Newton_ touches you, I'll—visit you at lunch and kiss you all over the table." Jacob gave her a hard kiss across her kitchen table. "But, really, Bella, I don't think you realize how likely it is he'll slip and wreak havoc if he's in an enclosed space with so much young blood."

"He's in an enclosed space with more young blood than this party for six hours a day."

"I know! He's _very_ likely to wreak havoc _all the time_!"

They'd had this conversation many times before. If Charlie didn't regularly interrupt and force them to change the subject, the argument might never end. She barely got him back in Sam's car and driving back to La Push before Edward arrived. If he'd known that she was spending even that extra time with him, there might have been a street fight.

Edward was noticeably flushed when he got out of his car to greet her. "I went on a quick hunting trip," he explained. "I'm getting more in control of my reaction to you every day, but—have I told you that my first day, I had fantasies of killing the whole Calculus class to stop them from making too much noise when I exsanguinated you?"

As always, the idea of him killing her was not frightening. "You were so calm! Why did you sit next to me?"

"I was showing off again. Also, I thought I could handle the bloodlust, and I did, obviously; no one's dead. Anyway, no matter how in control I've become, I thought I'd take some extra precaution. It would be much easier to kill six of your friends in an empty house than thirty children in a public school."

She couldn't help laughing. Edward himself agreed with Jacob that he was about to snap. Only she was confident he would rise above his instincts.

The ride to the Newton's was unexceptional. Bella and Edward parked their cars behind a grid of others on a dirt plot around the back of the house of the house.

"Why is he hiding the cars?" Edward muttered. Bella had no idea what the problem was.

Mike let them inside and led them downstairs. The TV room was set up for seduction: low lights, extra pillows, and burning incense. "Is this the right ambiance for _10 Things I Hate About You_?" she tried, although she doubted there would be any changes made.

"Yes!" Lauren said. She and Tyler were sharing the chair Bella had been planning on taking. Already, Bella could feel her body melting backwards toward Edward. Her only seating options were next to Edward on a loveseat or next to Edward on the floor. She sat on the loveseat as close to one side as she could and Edward did the same on the other side. There was room for another person between them, but Bella started packing that space with pillows.

She had no reason to worry, though. Not five minutes after the movie started, Edward got up for the bathroom and Bella was alone on the sofa.

* * *

It was really too early to leave, but Edward was glad to take a few minutes to run around the house. He didn't remember much about being human, but he was quite sure that his hormones had never raged like they did around Bella in a dark room.

That girl attracted trouble like nothing he'd ever seen. Of all the places to be tonight, she chose the cul-de-sac that a small-time house burglar was planning to explore for targets. With Mr. and Mrs. Newton gone and their son's activity all in the basement, their house looked affluent and deserted. Mike had even concealed the exterior signs of a party in the backyard.

Through the morning, Alice had visions of Ben Cheney being shot in two different scenarios, Angela Weber being shot to protect him in another, Tyler Crowley being shot, and Jessica falling down the basement stairs in fright. Bella was shot every time.

Ever since Edward had agreed to go, everyone was protected. Now he just had to figure out what he did to save them.

There were many easy ways of going about it, but Edward needed one that both didn't kill the burglar and didn't expose his superhuman methods to the police. The burglar, a young man called Paulie from Beaver, Washington, about ten miles from Forks, could know about his strength and speed – if he ended up in a psychiatric hospital, so much the better – but Edward couldn't leave any evidence. That left out grabbing the gun out of his hand, the simplest method Edward could think of, as he would almost certainly crush it. Ideally, he broke into another house first and Edward could call the police and detain him there until they arrived. Bella and the rest of the party wouldn't even have to know.

He wished he could have waited for Paulie to arrive at Thimbleberry Lane and taken action right away. As it was, Edward was antsy waiting outside for the trouble to come to him. At least the everyone at Mike's house but Bella would be too distracted by one another to notice if he was gone for a while. He could explain what happened to her when it was over. He didn't want to tell her now for fear she'd try to help. At best, she would trip on something and hurt herself. At worst, Paulie would get scared and shoot her.

Paulie was in his truck now, a Ford pickup from the 90s driving towards the cul-de-sac. _Just something big, yeah, just one big something_, he thought. _Not much. A TV or a laptop or some diamonds or maybe the rich kids have those little PSPs, portable PlayStations, yeah. Maybe a couple of things, no big deal._ Paulie started chanting the Hail Mary prayer and Edward pulled out of his thoughts for a while. He'd be there in five minutes or so. He was twenty-two-years-old and looking for drug money. He'd dropped out of high school to get away from his abusive foster father. Paulie was not one of the people Edward would have killed during his rebellion, not even close. He didn't want to hurt him.

Paulie parked the pickup a few blocks away and walked to the start of Thimbleberry Lane. Edward stood in the trees in front of the first dark house on the road, although if the security system would likely scare Paulie off. It did. His skinny body, covered in tattered black clothing, was trembling as he moved on. The next dark house had two small, noisy dogs. The next was not actually empty, proven when one of the upstairs lights turned on. Paulie moved nearer and nearer to the Newton's house, his thoughts growing more frustrated, his finger growing more trigger-happy. Edward walked a few feet closer behind him.

Finally, he was in front of the Newton's. The house next door was also dark, but the Newton's was almost twice the size and Paulie quickly decided not to bother with the smaller prize.

Edward had to let him try to force open the door or there would be nothing real to charge him with when the police arrived, so he waited until Paulie checked for a security sticker and broke a panel of glass on the front door before coming behind him.

"Hey!" he whispered. Paulie jumped around to face him and aimed his gun. Edward tapped him in the stomach with his fist and grabbed the gun as it fell out of the burglar's grasp. "I need to call the police," he said. "Why don't you sit down, huh?"

Paulie thought of trying to get the gun back, shooting him, and running back to his truck, but that instinct that Edward was a bigger-than-human threat held true and he fell to his knees on the front porch, instead.

He dialed the police station directly and opened his mouth to explain the situation, when— "Oh my god!" He looked up to see Mike running down from his house. "Edward! You just saved my house! You just saved my life, probably!"

Edward forced himself to smile. This was the last thing he wanted. He held up a finger and said to the police operator, "There's been an attempted break-in at 1090 Thimbleberry Lane. I'm Edward Cullen and I have stopped and unarmed the attacker. No one's hurt."

The operator said the police would be over as soon as possible and Edward hung up. Mike exploded. "This is so cool!" He was bouncing. "I mean—not _cool_, I mean—_you're_ so cool. You were like a super hero. Oh my god, I have to go get everybody."

Edward called out to stop him, but Mike was gone. The entire party would definitely scare Paulie into running, so Edward gave him a swift nudge to the head and lay him backwards.

* * *

"No, Mike!" Jessica squealed for the third time. "Not in front of everybody!"

Bella looked at them and wondered what Mike could be trying to do. Tyler had his hand in Lauren's shirt – what would Jessica think was more inappropriate than that? Bella probably didn't want to know. Mike groaned and got up, flinging Jessica into poor Ben who looked uncomfortable even holding Angela's hand.

"Anyone want a soda?" he said and stomped up the stairs before anyone could respond. Bella sighed. Where was Edward? Joey had already made the deal with Patrick to tame the shrew. Not that Edward needed to see the movie, but why had he come otherwise?

Lauren moaned and Bella closed her eyes. She wasn't seeing much of the movie either.

"You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it," said Bianca and Mike practically fell down the stairs.

"Oh my god! Edward just—he just—" Bella sat up. Had Edward broken something? Hurt someone? She started coming up with ideas to protect him, to make everyone forget whatever it was had ever happened, but then Mike continued, "He saved our lives!"

Mike turned on the light and Angela paused the movie. Tyler buttoned up his shirt.

"I was upstairs, right? – getting soda and I walk out of the kitchen and there's a dude at the front door – oh my god, I can't believe I didn't turn on the lights! My eyes just adjusted, you know? But there's a guy at the front door and then he breaks the glass! And I'm like, I'm going to have to bust a move, but then Edward's right there and the guy turns around and Edward punches him – just once! – and the dude's down and Edward has the dude's gun and he just calmly takes out his cell phone and – oh my god! Come on!"

Mike ran back up the stairs and there was a stampede to follow him. Bella couldn't move. Alice had visions of the future. She saw the burglar come to Mike's house and Edward changed his mind to come to stop it. To save her. Amazed, Bella followed everybody up the stairs to see Edward shrugging. "He fainted."

He looked right at her and smiled. Bella felt like she was going to faint.

Familiar blue and red lights started down the road and soon there was a flurry of people. When one of the officers realized Bella was at the house, he called her dad and Charlie, along with five more cops, arrived soon after. While Tyler was giving an unnecessarily long statement, a white van with "Channel 4" on the side drove up. A short, thin women looking ridiculously well turned out for nine at night, dress suit and flipped-out blond hair, ran up the drive with a much sleepier looking cameraman and boom operator trying to keep up. When she introduced herself as Sally Mallory, Bella remembered Lauren's aunt was a newscaster. She couldn't believe Lauren had called her.

Could Edward even be photographed? Suddenly terrified, Bella ran to him. "Will the camera be able to see you?" she hissed.

He laughed. "Silly Bella. Of course it will. I would have loved to avoid this, though." His smile turned polite and Bella spun around to a camcorder in her face. She stumbled a little and Edward snuck around a hand to steady her.

She tried to smile through the never-ending interview, until Charlie covered the lens with his hand and told Sally Mallory to stop exploiting the situation. Sally bared her teeth and led the camera crew in another direction.

"Kids, you're free to go home," Charlie said in a calmer voice. He hugged Bella to his side, the most physical he'd ever been with her. "Edward, I can't thank you enough for protecting my little girl. You're always there to save the day. I'm sorry Ms. Mallory's here, but you deserve the recognition, my boy."

Jacob had quite the opposite reaction. Bella arrived back at her house to the phone ringing. "Why the hell does the ten o'clock news keep showing you running up to Edward Bloodsucker and grabbing on to him?" Jacob said as a hello.

Bella walked into the living room with the phone and turned on the TV. Sure enough, on channel 4, there was a shaky moving shot of her frantically asking Edward if he was about to be exposed as a vampire. It looked much more like she kissed his cheek.

"Have you been listening to the newscast?" she bit out. "He stopped someone from robbing Mike's house."

"Yeah, right. The leech probably planted the guy so he could get this kind of glory."

Bella could think of nothing to say, so she hung up on him. He called back a few more times, but she didn't pick up. Better to let them both cool off over night. Sally Mallory created an exceptionally melodramatic story that Bella watched until Charlie got home.

"That Cullen kid," he said as he sat next to her. "He's special. You know he pulled me to the side and said he thought the criminal was a product of his environment and needs help more than he needs punishment. I don't have much control over that, of course. But that's just—very special. Mike, for example, Mike Newton, a good kid, but he was acting like the man was the Joker's sidekick or something, you know? But Edward Cullen. That's a good heart. Should have expected it from Dr. Cullen, but—very special."

Bella just nodded. She couldn't have agreed more – well, she might have argued that Edward had had a few more years to develop that kind of empathy, though he'd probably had it since he was a child – but it would have been so much easier if Charlie didn't like him. Of course, what was there not to like?

* * *

"Oh, dear." Esme was at the door when he walked in. She put her hands on his face and clucked her tongue. He smiled ruefully and moved past her, into the sitting area, where most of the family was lounging. The channel 4 news was playing quietly on a large pull-down screen from a digital projector across the room. She followed him. "You did a good thing, Edward, but—"

"Do you think you could go a whole month without giving us good reason to move?" Rosalie interrupted. She was the only one standing, using a twenty-pound sledgehammer to take out the small remaining pieces of the south wall. The second two stories were finished. Esme had ordered giant panes of glass and a construction crew was coming to install them later that week.

"Shut up, Rose," said Jasper. He and Alice were sharing a couch. He was lying on his back, his feet in her lap. "This is a bad reason to move at best."

"I bet he can!" from Emmett. "I bet a hundred he can go thirty-one days without one movable incident."

"Hah!" Rosalie bent down and – _so fucking sexy in those little shorts, gorgeous long legs, I want to lick her_—burst from Emmett. "I bet five hundred he can't make it one week."

Alice smiled serenely. She was fascinated by Jasper's toes, half her mind dedicated to memorizing every curve with her fingers. "I will not make a bet." Edward thought that was probably clever. The way Bella needed saving, Rosalie was probably not very off, unless Bella went into a coma, equally likely if he couldn't get to her in time.

Edward fell on a chair and closed his eyes for a moment. As always, Bella was there, this time the image of her sitting on the Newton's loveseat, licking her lips. He didn't remember what being tired really felt like, but he thought it had to be something like this. Esme curved into the crook of Carlisle's arm. Carlisle chucked.

"This Sally Mallory is very good," he said. "I wouldn't be surprised if Seattle picked the story up." Edward groaned. "Not to worry. You really haven't done anything wrong. If anything, you've helped _me_. Patients will be all the more comfortable with me when they recognize I have a turned a foster kid into a hero."

Edward smiled in thanks, but said formally, "Nonetheless, I truly apologize for putting so much attention on the family." It was mostly for Rosalie who nodded – _would have been a lot simpler if you'd just fallen in love with me, though, wouldn't it?_ – and gave some wood and plaster a hard whack.

Stupidly, he hadn't expected any major change at school. There was. Everyone stared at him as he walked the halls the next day. He overheard an administration meeting on whether or not to throw an assembly in his honor. Edward told Jasper right away and he made them all frustrated at the idea until they gave it up. Mr. Varner, who had a policy to do it if it made things more uncomfortable, made an announcement at the beginning of class. In a skirt and blouse barely appropriate for a nightclub, Ms. Mitchell spent the first fifteen minutes of class sitting on his desk, rubbing his shoulders, and congratulating him. He was called out of Government to talk to the Journalism class as they studied Channel 4's reporting.

By far the biggest change was at lunch. Edward was prepared for Mike to ask him to sit with the cool kids, but he'd underestimated the boy. He bypassed that step all together and sat down with his tray next to Edward at the table that his family had claimed at the beginning of the year. Mike was, if not the head, the feet of his group of friends, and everyone else followed suit, taking seats in between Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie as if nothing was wrong.

Bella was grinning as she sat down and Edward admitted the scene was hilarious. Rosalie and Jasper hadn't gained control of their expressions yet, wrinkled brows and open mouths, Alice was using a carrot slice like a baton and talking at Conner Levy about football, and Edward himself probably looked angry, while everyone else went about their normal lunchtime behavior.

More surprising was that it wasn't an indebted act of pity on the outcast Cullens'. They all kept sitting with his family as if they were long lost family. Emmett paid Rosalie five hundred dollars. There was nothing really wrong with sitting with other students at lunch, but soon they would be invited to things and it would be odd to decline every time. After a week of the integrated cafeteria, it would be odd to separate themselves again, rude enough to cause notice.

They had another family meeting about leaving. Again, Edward was staying near Bella no matter what and, again, they decided everything would be fine. There were only seven months of school left. They could do a few social things to stay under the radar and reconsider everything in June.

It wasn't all bad, either. Rosalie was flattered by the boys' attention, Alice was amused by human conversation, and Jasper was more steadily building better immunity to the smell of blood. Of course, even one more hour a day with Bella was good.

In Mid-November, Bella created another reason for them to spend more time together. Bella's only talent in mathematics was finding answers that added up evenly, but had no logical basis. Mr. Varner didn't like it, proven by her grade on the midterm. Now, as the first semester final approached, she needed help. Do you know what would have been most helpful? Studying every night, perhaps until Bella fell asleep on top of him. Perhaps that would have been most helpful to Edward. Regardless, it was impossible.

"I don't want Jacob to feel uncomfortable about it, you know," she said, _or know anything about it_, he filled in. He didn't blame her. If he could have kept a secret from his family, he wouldn't have told them about this.

They decided on two hours on Mondays and Thursdays at the back of the public library, an historical landmark that was mostly empty because it had nothing worth offering the public.

"I told Jake I was part of a study group."

"We could _get_ a group together," he offered, ready to extort every student in the class and their parents rather than do so. "There are doubtlessly many other students struggling."

"No!" Bella said. Edward smiled and she blushed, tried to laugh it off. "I'm sorry, Edward. These study sessions are all about me and I refuse to share your attention."

She plucked the words from his mind.

They usually got an hour of studying done before Bella started asking questions about him. United States history and science fiction were clearly much more in tune with her interests. Edward was surprised to find he didn't mind responding to her. In his family, and with his kind in general, vampire makeup was taken for granted. His family had been in their current form for fifty years now and, while there were always new stories to tell, there was no need to reminisce about the past. But Edward wanted Bella to know everything about him.

Her questions continued at lunch, under the veil of fiction. "Have any of you read that new young adult vampire book?" she asked the table at large. Rosalie and Jasper looked stricken, but quickly recovered. All the humans rolled their eyes.

"Geek," Lauren hissed.

"Vampires, Bella?" Jessica said. "Really?"

"It's called _Vesper_, right?" said poor, desperate Eric. "I saw it at the bookstore. It looks—good!"

"You've read it, haven't you, Edward?" Bella said quietly. Edward smirked, but nodded. "Right. What do you think of the protagonist's thoughts being blocked from the vampire?"

"You think the little girl is the protagonist? Really?"

Bella nudged him, laughing. "You think the mysterious, perfect vampire is the most important character? Yeah, right. Back to the question. Why do you think he can't hear her thoughts?"

Edward gave her his radio frequency idea and Alice broke in with her idea that Bella just had incredible barriers in her brain. "She is safe inside her mind," she concluded. "It would be easier to prove if the girl met any other vampires."

"She'd _better_ not," he growled.

Alice raised her arms in surrender. "Hey, _I'm_ not going to do anything."

Tyler laughed too loudly, staring at Alice. "Like what, write the author?" The boy sighed. "I bet you would."

What? Edward's eyes narrowed as he slipped into Tyler's mind – _a little pixie, like bubbles floating into a white sky, she's so pretty_. Edward checked on Jasper, but he hadn't hunted in nearing two weeks and was distracted by his own delicate self-control. Best that he never found out about the child's crush. Edward's own estimation of Tyler went up a good deal. It took a notable human to spend so little time with them and still overlook Rosalie's glittering appearance for what Alice had to offer.

Half of Biology was given to a simple lab and Bella's questions continued. When the bell rang, he stopped her. "Tomorrow is my turn."

"Turn for what?"

"My turn to ask the questions. If the girl is the protagonist, I want to know all there is to know about her."

"I don't think there's very much to know." She looked down and let her hair fall around her face. Silly Bella. Couldn't she understand that every little detail about her was interesting? He wanted to know how often she bit her nails down to the hyponychium and hurt herself. He wanted to know what signaled to her it was time for a haircut. He wanted to know if she held a crayon the same way she held her pencil in class.

"How are you doing with _Dr. Zhivago_?" he asked as they walked to her truck.

"The writing's gorgeous," she said and he waited for a more real response. She sighed. "I'm a little annoyed with Yury. He and Lara are at the hospital together now and it's all longing, aching, yearning, and no action. I wasn't expecting smut, exactly… his wife flips that they're lovers, but they're _not_."

"It will be worth it when they finally come together," he said. The real life parallels made him long, ache, yearn even more than usual. Her small, pale arm was swinging at her side, so warm, so close to his. Why couldn't he always be touching her? "Of course, then everything falls apart."

"Doesn't it always?" She was too young to be so cynical.

"In life—no. I have to believe that sometimes things work out."

Bella smiled, seemed truly cheered by his response. "I guess art imitates what pessimists like me expect to find, huh?"

"The artist gains a Nobel prize from it, as proven by Boris."

"Who wants a Nobel prize?" she laughed.

"Not me," he said and hoped he didn't look too pathetic. "I just want a happy ending."

* * *

End Notes

1) New information in _BD_ tells us they have a big screen TV, not a pull-down screen as I hoped… Don't care. I think this is really cool and I think the Cullens would, too.

2) Vesper: _n_. 1. the evening star, especially Venus. 2. Archaic: evening. …most people I know who love _Twilight _had all their friends think they were crazy to be reading teen fiction about vampires, so this is paying homage to that.

3) The hyponychium is the skin of the nail bed, the adherent connective tissue we generally call the quick, but Edward's all smart, so he uses the Latinate.


	6. Chapter 5: The Cullens

Chapter 5: The Cullens

"Woo-hoo!" Tyler and Conner were running up and down the isles in between lunch tables, pounding their fists and screaming. "Break! Thanksgiving break!"

"Immature," Lauren tutted. Bella imagined it had less to do with Tyler's immaturity and more with her own being ignored. "I hate Thanksgiving." The humans at the table gaped at her. "I mean, the Friday's all right, but tomorrow… twenty-four forced hours with my family could be taken off the calendar for all I care."

Everyone shared her pained expression except for Bella. She wasn't thrilled with the idea of spending the day making a big meal for Charlie alone, but she tried to look at the holiday with a modern sensibility. It was tradition for Renée to get up early and shop for missing ingredients, to talk to everyone she saw and make sure they had a place to be that night. If they didn't, she would invite them to her house. She came back to Bella with a guest count and they would spend the afternoon cooking. Sometimes it was five and once it was twenty-three. She found all sorts: homeless people, a lonely heiress, a musician hitchhiking his way to L.A. One year, she found two gay men who had broken up years ago and found one another again at the dinner. Bella was the flower girl at their wedding that spring. Most importantly, she found Phil Dwyer, the man who made Bella let go of that tradition forever.

Oh, she could have visited her mother for the holiday. Bella hadn't seen her in almost a year, but it would have been so different in Florida it made Bella sore behind her eyes. She didn't even know if it was happening. Phil's parents, brother, and sister all lived in Georgia with their families and could easily come down and visit him and his new wife. That was too many people to bring in any more.

She asked Jacob and Billy to come over, but the Quileutes quietly protested the holiday. The tribe held a celebration that night – Jacob very awkwardly told her she wasn't invited – but they could come for an early dinner. It was better than nothing. Charlie told her he had a VHS of recorded Christmas specials he made when she was a baby, which would be funny to watch and easy bonding time after the football game. Bella was thankful she had a father who made that sort of thing and kept it for her.

"I assume you'd like to cancel our study session tomorrow?" Edward said, pulling her from her thoughts.

"What? No!" She hated the idea of losing that two hours with Edward. But then, when were they going to do it? She would be in the kitchen all day and Jacob could arrive at any time. "I guess we have to." She could feel herself pouting, ridiculous because Edward was probably free all day tomorrow. It wasn't his fault at all.

"We could meet tonight instead!"

Edward smiled. "You work until seven."

"Come to my house afterwards." It was a reckless thing to offer , but she wouldn't see him for four days. Charlie wanted to do Chinese takeout tonight, thanks for all the cooking she'd do tomorrow. Jacob had no reason to drop by. It was as harmless to have him over as it ever would be.

"Are you sure?" She didn't even consider taking him up on his out.

"My Calculus grade needs you." They stared at one another. This had nothing to do with Calculus. "You're my friend, Edward. And Charlie loves you. It's perfectly natural."

She was confident through the end of school, but she got uneasy at work. What if Jacob did come over? Charlie would talk about it at dinner tomorrow no matter what. What if—the phone rang, the first semblance of a customer to happen this afternoon, the calm before the storm of Black Friday. "Thank you for calling Olympic Outfitters, this is Bella, how can I help you?"

"Are you sure?" It was Edward. Hearing his voice, Bella was sure again.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I could sneak in through your window."

"Don't be ridiculous—" Then again, Charlie and certainly Jacob would never have to know if Edward came in through the window. "Yeah, okay. Sneak in."

"Charlie's tired, he'll go to bed early tonight. I'll be there around eight o'clock."

"Great. I'll see you then—" She was about to say his name when Mike came from the kayaks with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Bella just hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Mike said, putting his elbows on the counter and leaning into one hand. "Secret boyfriend?"

"No, Mike, my _not_-secret boyfriend. He sneaks through the window when Charlie won't let him in by normal means." This was true of Jacob and for the first time Bella realized it was wrong to have another guy do the same thing. This was a real betrayal even if all they did was talk about homework.

"Awe, that's sweet." Mike rolled his eyes. "Like Romeo slithering up to Juliet."

"This is nothing like _Romeo and Juliet_," she said, too loudly. Couldn't a friend secretly come into your room for a chat without everyone jumping to romantic conclusions?

"Whoa there, I wasn't going for offensive. Is everything okay between you guys?" Mike's face broke out in a grin and then quickly sobered.

Oh no. She hated letting him down every time. "Everything's great between me and Jake. No need to nip at my heels." He spluttered out a protest and ran back to stocking shelves.

A few minutes later, a girl came in to buy tennis balls for her puppy. The overactive Rottweiler knocked down a complicated pyramid display of water bottles down and Bella spent the last hour of her shift putting it back together, blissfully mindless work.

Charlie had takeout boxes of chicken, vegetables, and rice laid out on the coffee table when she got home. As predicted, he was asleep, slumped over his empty plate, before the end of a _Friends_ rerun. She sent him to bed and put the boxes in the refrigerator.

When she got to her room, it was empty. Her shoulders slumped. She realized, face hot, that she'd expected him splayed out on her bed with a rose in his hand and an easy grin. Or something. She tied her hair back, took out her Calculus text and notebook, sat down on her bed and stared at her homework. This was a bad idea.

A knock disrupted her. Edward's upper body was visible through the glass and, when Bella went to the window, she saw the rest of his body just hanging there. "Are you flying?"

"No, I'm just holding myself up." He gestured to one hand idly resting on the windowsill. "My bodyweight isn't exactly a strain, but I'm showing off again." He flipped his legs up and over the sill, body almost upside down, and jumped inside with barely a sound. She laughed at his idea of showing off. Edward showed off just by existing, by standing in front of her with his amber eyes and long, muscular legs. It was like watching a Greek god. Perhaps vampires were the gods of the Greeks, full of power, beauty, and wrath.

She mentioned her idea to Edward and he grinned at her. "You're so clever. The oldest of my kind existing today were born some five hundred years after the Greek and Roman myths were created, so I've never gotten exactly a firsthand account, but many, if not all of the so-called gods were vampires on a power trip, rarely seen, discreetly killing—"

Bella had a thousand questions. "You're lucky today is your turn," Edward told her, and the discussion began. They were lying side-by-side on her bed, Calculus supplies discarded, when Bella realized it was almost midnight. "Where did the time go?'

"I'm sorry I kept you up. I'll leave." Protest rose up in Bella's throat, but he was right to go. "Bella—" She stood up – if he asked to stay, she couldn't be inhospitable. "I'd like you meet my parents. Would you come to my home on Sunday?"

She couldn't breathe. Meeting the beloved Carlisle and Esme, being in their house, seeing the rest of his family in their natural environment – it was too much of an honor. "Are you sure?" she repeated his words.

"I would love you to come." Bella smiled her agreement. Edward reached out, ran his fingers down the back of her hand. "Happy Thanksgiving." She looked at her alarm clock, the square red words flashing twelve o'clock. "I'm very thankful you live, Bella."

"I'm thankful you… are here with me." He turned to leave and she called out, "What will your family do tomorrow?"

"We feast on turkeys," he said.

Bella hadn't pictured Edward hunting before this, but now saw the lissome, delicate people she ate lunch with lunging at squawking birds. It didn't make sense. "Really?"

Edward's straight face broke. "No. There's no fun in turkeys. Thanksgiving's like any other day for my kind…" His smile twisted. "Any vampires who lived with the Colonialists would not have starved."

"You don't know for a fact?" she teased him to take his mind of his guilt.

"Bella, I was born in 1901." His eyes were blazing. "I am soon to celebrate my one-hundred-and-fifth birthday."

She held his gaze, then purposefully smiled and nudged him with her elbow. "You're desperate for my blood and that's the one that's supposed to get me to run screaming? I'm thankful you're here with me, Edward."

"You're miraculous," he whispered. She shivered.

"Silly Edward." She could think of nothing else to say.

He shook his head slowly. "You are. Good night, Bella." And then he was gone, with a but a whip of the curtains. She looked down into the darkness in front of her house, but there was nothing but shadows.

Bella expected a restless night, but she changed into pajamas, lay down, and went right to sleep. She even had a happy dream, cool breeze following her around a glittering city. It wasn't until the end that she noticed the dark red sky on the horizon. She woke up before the darkness could sweep over. It was eight o'clock, just the right time to get up, take a shower, put her sheets in the washer, and double check she didn't need to go to the grocery store.

The kitchen was fully stocked. She made dough for the rolls and set it to the side to rise, put together the stuffing, dressed and stuffed the turkey, then spent the rest of the day putting the sides together. It was way too much food for four people, but Bella had a feeling it would mean something to Charlie. This kind of meal probably hadn't been made since Renée was living here and he would appreciate the leftovers through the long weekend.

Dinner went seamlessly. Bella had been worried Billy would see the turkey as a fat, slippery illustration of her ancestors' enslavement of his, but he smilingly carved it and served it to everyone.

* * *

"So, Jake, you're going to be a legal driver in a week here, aren't you?" Charlie said. The table shared an ironic look. From his appearance, Jacob probably wouldn't get carded to drink, let alone drive. Ever humble, Jacob grinned and gave a yell. Bella squeezed his knee. "You have something special planned for him, Bells?"

She didn't. She was terrible at giving gifts, in fact, but she said, "Oh, I've got a couple things up my sleeve."

"I've got everything I want, anyway," Jacob said, sliding his hand under hers and rising it to his mouth. "Except for a fuel pump for the Rabbit. If I had that, my baby would be running." Bella relaxed. Bingo. That and dinner out with her would be a perfectly suitable present.

Edward would know where to get a fuel pump – although perhaps it would be better not to mention her boyfriend's birthday presents to him. Charlie would know where to get one, too. After dinner, Bella helped Billy out of the house and asked him subtly if he had already purchased one. He patted her hand and told her he was surprising Jacob with a new paintjob for the car. All the better if it was working underneath the pretty exterior.

Once they'd left, the Thanksgiving Classic game in Dallas was just getting started and Charlie was in front of the TV with a fresh plate of turkey and cranberry sauce. It was only five – what was she supposed to do for the rest of the night? What did she usually do? It was around this time that dinner was served when she lived with Renée, going until late and Bella was exhausted from the day. A sore lump was forming in the back of Bella's throat. She briefly considered calling her mother, but with the time difference, Renée and Phil were probably still eating. It would be rude to interrupt them, not to mention pathetic to call a second time when she'd already done so earlier, under the pretense of getting the pumpkin pie recipe. She then considered sitting with Charlie to watch football, but she'd never understood the rules and her dispassionate reaction might well ruin his good time.

She went upstairs. Reading had always made her feel better, pulled her from the real world's problems and into problems with a conclusion within a few hundred pages. She went to pick up _Zhivago_ when the phone rang. She redirected her hand to the phone and before she could greet the caller—"Am I interrupting anything?" It was Edward.

Relief ran through her whole body, she almost collapsed with it, but found the old rocking chair in time. "No. Dinner's over. Nothing to do but put the food away."

"What's wrong?"

And Bella thought she'd sounded so normal. She was quiet for a long time, trying to think of what to say, how honest to be. "I miss my mom." She said the words without realizing she'd thought them.

"Have you seen her since you relocated here?"

"No," she sighed. "Plane tickets are expensive and—I know she loves me, but I feel like I don't—can't—fit into her life anymore."

"I'm sure you're wrong about that. Why don't you call her?"

"No, I—" She was ready to give all the reasons why that was a bad idea, but the truth was—"I don't want her to hear me cry."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called."

"No, that's different." Of course Edward could hear her cry. "Why _did_ you call?"

"I just wanted to see how you were, I suppose."

"Thank you." She tried to project how truly grateful she was over the phone wires. "Um—you said last night you were born in 1901. Where?"

Edward told her about his childhood in Chicago, the outbreak of Spanish influenza, his sickness, and Carlisle's intervention. He talked until Bella was tired and had put her mother in the back of her mind.

"Does it ease your guilt that your mother knew what was happening, that she asked Carlisle to save you?" The lasting smell of cooked turkey and gravy was comforting now, as she curled her legs under herself on the chair.

"Is it so obvious that I'm guilty?"

"That you _feel_ guilty? Yes. It's obvious to me. _I_ think you are more guiltless than most, having this desperate urge to kill and never killing."

"I am guilty." He described four years he spent giving in to his instinct by killing the corrupt, the remorse he felt for taking even those lives, and returning to Carlisle and Esme. He finished, "The prodigal son. It was more than I deserved."

"I don't think so. I think a few years of rebellion is perfectly natural. You're only—"

"Human?" Edward laughed with no humor. "Do you know what I think? I think my mother was driven mad by the disease and didn't know what she was saying."

"I think your mother loved you and knew better than I do that you are a good man, with or without a pulse."

"I think your mother loves you and you should call her before she goes to bed. It's almost eleven in Florida now." Had three hours really passed? A glance at her alarm clock confirmed it and, as if on cue, Charlie appeared at the top of the stairs. He smiled and waved at her and went into the bathroom. "Call her," Edward said again.

"I will," she said. "If you forgive yourself for your mistake."

"Right now? Just give it up after over sixty years of contrition? And you'll speak to your mother in return?"

Bella scowled. "You know, contrition implies forgiveness."

"It does not. It means you're up for divine forgiveness, that it's possible. And I doubt a priest would think I'm getting into heaven, anyway."

"Okay. Will you remember that _I've_ forgiven you, then?"

"Forever," he said, quietly. "I will remember that forever. _If_ you call Renée."

There was a tap at the door. "Goodnight, Bells," Charlie said. "Say hi to Jacob for me."

She was confused, but she smiled and nodded, then realized that her father thought she'd been talking to Jacob for three hours. A reasonable assumption.

"Um, my dad says hi," she said. Edward chucked. "Night, Dad!"

Edward said goodnight then, too, with a final reminder to call Renée. Bella dialed five digits of Renée's number, then hung up the phone again. She still had to clean up the kitchen. She'd just do that first and then call Renée. Her mother was a night owl, she'd be up.

Downstairs, the kitchen was clean. Charlie had taken care of it. Bella smiled. She had a good life in Forks. She picked up the phone in the kitchen.

"Hey, honey. Boy, I missed you today," her mother said, right away. "Phil's family is—well, they're from Georgia, you know_?_—I always wish you're here, but right now especially." Edward was right. She felt a lot better.

* * *

He'd long said that Jasper should hunt more than the rest of them. He was more distracted by the scent of human blood and should compensate appropriately. Ever since Edward met Bella, even as he got more accustomed to her, he had been just as distracted. It was a perk of spending time with her that he convinced Jasper to join him on every extra hunting trip and so cutting out Jasper's bloody fantasies and his guilt for having them from Edward's mind.

It was not a perk that Jasper thought Edward idiotic for not dating Bella – as it were that easy, just say a few words and, with a puff of smoke, _dating_ – and thought about it as much as possible while they hunted. During the search and attack, his mind was wonderfully silent, totally focused on the attack. But while they were going to and from the hunt, Jasper wouldn't stop. _You know she wants you – I'm distracted by her pulse, her blood pressure, the hormones running to and from her brain when she's sitting with you at lunch. You connect on a more elevated level, too, your little lovebird minds—why are you putting us all in danger if you're not even going to make yourself happy, if you're just hurting yourself—_

It was better than Emmett, or especially Rosalie, who now assumed, if he could be without her (body) so easily, it was just an infatuation and he was putting them in danger for nothing. Bloodlust was very connected with normal lust – both of Emmett's experiences with that level of desire had been lovely young women. Jasper was better than their disappointment, but not by much.

This hunt had started quickly after he got off the phone with Bella Thursday night and was coming to an end on Saturday morning. Edward had been putting off telling the family that he had invited Bella over, but now, with less than twenty-four hours until she came, he knew it was time. He avoided it a bit longer by the obligatory after-hunt bath and then a bit more than that because Alice got in the shower with Jasper and they couldn't have a meeting without everyone there. When he couldn't put it off any longer: "I invited Bella—"

"I know!" Alice shrieked. "Yay!"

"I invited her here. I'd like her to meet you," he said, looking at Carlisle and Esme, then turned to Emmett. "And you, if you'll stay."

"They'll stay," Esme said, sternly. "And of course we'll meet her. We've been waiting for this since you first mentioned her."

_Edward!_ pulled him to Jasper, sprawled out next to Alice. _You know what would be perfect?_ _If you ask her on a _date_ while she's here at the house._ Edward glared at him.

"It's not that I don't like her," Rosalie said quietly. "You know that. She's a sweet girl and I wish her no harm – that's the point. You're not just putting us in danger, you're putting her in danger. And for what?"

The room was quiet for a long time while Edward tried to think of words to explain. "She soothes my soul," he said, finally. It wasn't quite right, but it was something. "I'm sorry I'm not stronger. I'm sorry I can't let her go."

"I'm not," Alice said, perfectly serious. He smiled at her through his grimace.

"Will you stay?" he asked Emmett and Rosalie again.

Rosalie looked away. Emmett took her hand in his and sighed. "Yes. I'd like to meet her." –_like to make you happy._ Edward thanked them and relaxed. He wanted Bella to meet Emmett, but he was mostly grateful that Bella wouldn't feel unwelcome, would sense less the discord within the family.

"Should we stock in some groceries?" Esme asked.

"No," Edward said, just as Alice said the opposite. "No, Alice. If she gets hungry while she's here tomorrow, I'll take her out. She isn't going to be spending a lot of time here." _She would be if you asked her on a _date. Horrible Jasper.

"Why not?" Alice said. "She's my friend, too. And Jasper's. And Rosa—well. I could invite her over. We could have a sleepover, just us girls. You're not invited."

"I don't know that her boyfriend—"

"Yeah, that could be a problem—oh, wait, I forgot, she's not a _child_, Edward."

Edward stood up, throwing the couch back with the force of his movement. "Yes, she is." She wasn't, not exactly, but she was very young and very fragile. He ran up the stairs to his room and put on Linkin Park, jumped around until he calmed down, and then laughed at the irony. He hadn't acted so much like a teenager in years and he was worried he was too experienced for Bella? This inconsistency was just another reason he was bad for her.

He called Bella that evening to schedule a time to pick her up – she'd never find the road to their house by herself.

"I'm so glad you called!" she said. Edward felt warmed through. "I thought after Thanksgiving that it might be a regular thing and then you didn't call yesterday and – um, but it doesn't have to be a regular thing. Did you need something?"

"No," he lied. "But this really can't be a regular thing. Jacob will be there some nights."

"He's going to be here in a few minutes, actually," Bella said, sheepishly. "So, lightning fast, how's your long weekend been?"

"Nothing special. Found a mountain lion while I was hunting with Jasper. My favorite."

"Yummy," Bella laughed, not even made nervous by what he said. Every time he meant to shock her, it glanced right off her shoulder.

They talked for a few more minutes while Edward kept part of his mind with Jacob to check his arrival. "When would you like to come over tomorrow?" he said when Jacob was four blocks away. "That is, if you'd still like to come."

"Of course! How about ten? Charlie will be surprised if I leave any earlier. Can I meet you around the corner from my house?"

A tiny scab inside of him broke open every time he was reminded she was hiding him from her father. It was better than not seeing her by far, but it would nice not to be sneaked around like a drug addiction. It would also be nice to know that someone outside his family knew she was with him to make him accountable for his actions. "Of course we can meet somewhere private. You can follow my car to the house."

"I'll know the way better that way."

If only she would have reason to know the way. "Jacob's pulling up in front of your house now. See you tomorrow."

The whole household was nervous for her to arrive through the night. Esme hooked a bungee cord to the roof bounced down like a rock climber to clean the whole south window. Carlisle put a chair in the shingles to sit, talk to her, and watch her work. Alice bought food without Edward's blessing and reorganized it in the kitchen five times. Jasper went hunting again. Emmett and Rosalie had more sex than they had since she first found him.

Morning couldn't come fast enough. Edward was grateful when he could finally leave the house. He remembered too late that he couldn't search Bella's mind for where "around the corner" actually was, but he parked on a nearby block just as Bella's truck wheezed on to the same street. They had the same instincts. He smiled as he got out of the car. "Hi," she said.

It was always a little uncomfortable to first see her again. His whole body moved to physically greet her and he had to stop himself while the thrumming thought of how glorious it would be feel her in his arms. "How as your night?" he said. She shrugged.

"Fine. Jacob took me to _Coming Up Daisy_, which was… long and sweet." She wrinkled her nose. "And… Billy's a great guy, okay? I really like him. But he has this _smirk_… it makes me feel like he's a pimp, riding to my house as Jacob's licensed passenger so we can go on dates."

Lecherous old man. Edward forced himself to laugh. "It's worth it to see him, right?"

"I guess. It would be just as nice to just go to La Push and hang out in his garage or something. I'm sorry. I can't believe I'm complaining my boyfriend wants take me to the movies. How was your night?"

"Everyone's atwitter to meet you." Bella's eyes widened. "No, no, don't be nervous." She attempted a calmed smile. "Okay, now that you're freaked out, let's go. I wanted to you to have a nice, stressful drive there."

She smiled more sincerely and they got on their way. Once they were on the freeway, Edward put the car on cruise control and hooked his right ankle behind his left to keep from accelerating. Bella's truck wouldn't be able to follow at any faster than this stroll.

He watched her through the rearview mirror for the whole drive. She never noticed. It was gorgeous watching her expressions as she thought things, wondered where they were going, saw things out the window. For the first time, he was truly appreciated how easy it was to steer with his peripheral vision. The twisting dirt road to the house was beautiful, covered in plants, a thousand shades of green, lit up from the bright white sky. Watching Bella's expression as they passed through it was like seeing it for the first time again. Esme had done outstanding restoration work on the house and Bella's wide eyes and open mouth pleased Edward immensely.

A deep part of him wished that she might want to be here, that she might imagine herself here, with him. "Do you like it?" he couldn't help asking when she got out of the car.

"It has a certain charm," she said with a little grin. Edward wanted to wrestle her to the ground and crown his victory with a kiss, but he couldn't even manage to tug on her hair. He squeezed his hands into fists and walked to the front door. Bella rushed after him, saying, "No, I mean it's a beautiful house. Timeless, graceful—"

"I'm sorry." Edward came to a sudden stop and Bella tripped tying not to walk into him. He grabbed her by the elbows to steady her. "I know you were kidding."

She laughed, unsteadily. He didn't want to let go of her elbows. They'd seemed like such a safe spot to touch, but now that they were in his hands, he noticed how they were delicate and soft, leading to her arms, her shoulders, her collarbone. A look at her eyes pulled him away from his arousal and he let go. "What's wrong? Are you scared of them?"

"No! I'm just—worried they won't like me." She shook out her shoulders. "And they can hear this whole conversation, so let's just go inside."

"Bella," he said and she stopped her retreat. "They will like you and then when they understand all your faults and virtues, they will love you." He walked to her side and smiled at her. She gave him a wobbly little smile in return. They walked up the porch together and he opened the door.

The interior was even more impressive than the exterior: white, modern, clean lines. He had to admit, his family was quite impressive themselves. Emmett looked like Superman in a tight, bright blue tee and his hands on his hips. Carlisle and Esme, sunshine and fire, in pale colors and bright smiles. Everyone's eyes and skin glowing.

"This is my brother, Emmett," he said, making a point to touch his shoulder. "He's married to Rosalie." Emmett smiled politely. "And these are Carlisle and Esme. This is Bella."

His parents were warm and kind. Emmett wasn't rude, which was the most Edward was hoping for. Alice bounded down the stairs soon after the introductions, Jasper not far behind her. Rosalie stood at the top of the stairs for a few long moments, in a strikingly short pleated white dress, then walked down slowly, as cool and regal as a princess. Bella shrunk into his side, watching her. Edward shook his head at his sister and led everyone into the living room. Rosalie was pleased to make a second entrance, but behaved, tucking her legs underneath herself and leaning into Emmett.

Carlisle and Esme liked Bella, it was obvious. Conversation flowed easily and, although Esme clearly would have been happy asking Bella about herself for weeks on end – Edward knew the feeling – Carlisle kept the conversation move varied, bringing up the past, making everyone laugh and join in the story-telling.

"This glass wall is remarkable," Bella said.

"Esme's idea, of course," Carlisle said, proud. "It goes all the way up, all three floors."

"Would you like a tour of the house?" Edward said.

"Oh, yes!" He thought Esme would love to show it off, but she continued, "Edward can take you around."

_Show her your comfy couch, ask her on a date!_ Edward stood and stomped on Jasper's foot, very nearly breaking through the hardwood floor. He looked down and offered his hand to help Bella to her feet and when he looked back at the room, everyone had gone.

"Where did they go?" Bella said. "They really don't like me, do they?"

"No, they _do_," he said, emphasizing for his farcical family's benefit as much as Bella's. "They just—" wanted to give them some privacy, but he couldn't say that. "—move really quickly. In fact—" He pulled Bella on to his back and ran her around the house, then set her down in front of the kitchen. "What do you think of the place?"

"Great—crown molding in the library." She fell forward and he caught her around the waist. She took a deep breath and pointed at the kitchen door. "This is the billiard room, right? I'm learning my way around."

"We don't live in a game of 'Clue,' you know." He waited a few beats. "We've been calling the billiard room the _game_ room for a few decades now. Billiards really went out of style in this country after World War II. And this is actually the kitchen."

He led her inside the room, state-of-the-art, chrome appliances, quartz countertops, antique wood furniture, never used. There was a bowl of fruit on the island bar, a vase of sunflowers on the table, and some assortment of food, put in by Alice in the last day. He took her around the main downstairs room, to the grand ballroom, then meanderingly upstairs, Carlisle's study, and Jasper's, every family member's personal room, the game room, to the third floor greenhouse, Carlisle's pet project, and ending with his own room.

She marveled at his CD collection while he looked for something to play. Classical? Or maybe jazz. Most teenagers didn't appreciate classical. He put on a mix of late romantic music, anyway. Better to know her taste. She just admired the acoustics.

"No bed?"

"I don't exactly need one." Comprehension lit her gaze. He was tempted to leave it at that, but she was sure to see Alice's room eventually and he'd rather he had the sex talk with her. "Everyone else has one, though. They use them for—other things."

Bella blushed. "You really—never need a bed?"

"If the need is dire, most other people have beds," he said, rashly. In theory, other people did have beds, but the need had never been that dire. He'd said it to make her jealous. Bella couldn't hold his gaze. Was she offended? Disappointed? He had no idea. "To be honest, the last bed I've been on in a very long time was yours."

Amazingly, she blushed even more. Her blood was hot, quickening underneath her skin and for a moment, Edward was desperate to touch it, to taste it, but he was back under control in seconds. "If that's what you consider hot action—" He tried to laugh with her, but oh the things they could have done on that little bed. Oh the things she _had_ done on that bed. With Jacob.

This was most likely not the best time to bring it up, but would there ever be a good time, really? "Bella, I know sometimes I get short with you, or more closed off and quiet and, you should know, it's never anything you've done. Well, sometimes it's because you're frustratingly cavalier about your own safety, but most of the time it's because I—I want to touch you and I can't and then I don't know what to do."

Bella frowned and reached out her hand, excruciatingly slowly, to his arm. "Friends touch, don't they?"

"Not the way I want to touch you," he said. He was trying to frighten her as much now as he was when he spoke of vampire physiology. "And not with my motivation."

She took a deep breath. "Sometimes I want to touch you, too." She chuckled. "I guess it's just another challenge to overcome. You want to kill me, I want to kiss you… it's worth it to spend time together, right?"

_That's not what it is_, he wanted to argue. _I want to kiss you, you want to kiss me_. No challenge. Of course, he didn't argue. He put on a smile and gestured to the couch. "Would you like to sit down?" She took one side and he sat as far away from her as possible. Why didn't he have armchairs in his room?

"Tell me about you and Jacob." Edward wasn't sure he wanted to know, and from her look, Bella wasn't sure she wanted to tell him, but he had hoped for a while that understanding about their relationship would help him support it.

"Are you sure?"

"No, but please, tell me."

She stared at him for a few seconds, then nodded. "We knew each other when we were little, sort of – Charlie and Jacob's dad, Billy, are fishing buddies and they would put the kids together when I was visiting. I didn't see him for years. Then Mike and Angela and a bunch of them went to the beach in La Push a couple months after I moved and Jake and Sam Uley came by. I liked him right away, more than—I mean, I like the kids at school a lot, but, I don't know, there was just more to Jacob." Edward was surprised at this defensiveness. Of course she liked him more if she was dating him now.

"He had just turned fifteen then and I really didn't consider him, um, like _that_ – romantically, but we hung out more and more and then he asked me out, um, April fifteenth, I guess and I thought, _why not_?" That was a week before Edward and his family came to town, he calculated. He had assumed they'd been dating for much longer than that. "The first date was fine, just like hanging out like we always did, until they end. The kiss at the door was very awkward. We did date things a couple more times through the week and then Mike had planned another trip, camping at Olympic National Park, and I invited Jacob along.

"It was—I don't know what happened there. I had a really bad feeling all day, like there was something in the shadows, and then Mike wanted to take a hike – Jacob was getting fire wood, I think – so we went and then – I don't know how to explain it, there was something – the first thing I really remember is waking up in the hospital. I was terrified, I remember that. And I remember being cold. But it was a good cold. I thought –" She chuckled. "I kind of thought an angel was holding me. Anyway, I woke up in the hospital and Jacob was right there. He'd found me in the woods. I had been through surgery, a broken leg and a concussion, and asleep for almost two days and Jake never left my bedside. I think that's what did it. I was so happy to have him there, grateful, amazed that he cared about me that much.

"It was different after that. The kisses weren't awkward. I just felt like—he was it. It was right to be with him. About two months later, he had that werewolf growth spurt and we looked right together, too. I think that's when Jessica really got behind it." She grinned, but Edward couldn't make himself react.

Edward had done it. He had forced them together by saving her from James. He wouldn't have done anything differently, of course. Bella was alive, that was the most important thing. But it was his actions that made her feel in love with Jacob for the first time. He was like a fucking matchmaker. Every muscle was tense with the need to rip Jacob apart. _Edward_ should have been there, Edward should have been at her bedside waiting for her to wake up and see her soul mate. Instead, Edward was the muddled angel on high. He was grateful she remembered his part in it at all, but it _wasn't enough_.

"Edward?"

He could tell her right now. He could tell her he'd saved her and kiss her – she'd kiss him back, she'd just said so. Edward pushed his fingernails into his palms. No. She deserved much better than that. She deserved better than Jacob, young, volatile werewolf, as well, but she wanted him. She wanted Jacob more than Edward. He took a deep breath, forgetting he would just inhale her magnificent scent, then ran across the room and focused on the mathematical angle of the corner until he was calm again.

"I'm sorry," he said, as he walked back to her.

"I shouldn't have told you."

Her back was tense, eyes small and wet. He smiled at her until she relaxed again. "No, I'm glad you did. It's a romantic story. I wish I could know Jacob. For your sake," he couldn't help adding.

"Thank you. I wish you could—I wish _he_ wanted to—oh! Claire de Lune. My mother used to play this. It's one of my favorites."

"It's one of mine, too." He was stupidly pleased they had this in common. Thoughts drifting through the music, Bella relaxed against the couch, but Edward couldn't do the same. It was painful to sit alone with her in his room. He had imagined her here so many times. "I could play it for you."

"What do you mean?" She looked back at him and wrinkled her nose. "It is playing."

He rolled his eyes. "I mean on the piano. Downstairs."

"_You_ play that gorgeous grand piano!" She stood, took his hand in both of hers and pulled him to the door. "Oh, please play it, I'd love to hear you."

She led him to the piano and he sat down on the bench. She backed up, prepared to watch him from the corner, but he patted the space next to him. "You should experience the piano from here," he explained. "Not from a distance."

Edward loved this piano, a special edition Bösendorfer with intricate carved wood detailing and a very small leather-upholstered bench.

He began to play from memory. Edward memorized the piano arrangement of the entire Suite bergamasque as a human, but he'd been amazed how the piano keys reacted to his fingers after his transformation. "Do you know the poem?"

"There's a poem?" Bella sounded wistful and when he turned his head, she looked almost drugged, lost in the music. He grinned at her reaction.

"By Paul Verlaine, a French poet. It was written some forty years before the song." He skipped to the third stanza and quoted, "_Au calme clair de lune triste et beau_— _ Qui fait rêver les oiseaux dans les arbres_— _ Et sangloter d'extase les jets d'eau_— _ Les grands jets d'eau sveltes parmi les marbres._ …The pale moonlight, sad and beautiful— that makes the birds dream in the trees— And makes the marbled fountains sob with ecstasy."

"I hope I see moonlight like that one day." Edward hoped he would show it to her.

Alice and Jasper came into the room about half way through the song, leaned against the wall and smirked at him. He ignored them, focused on Bella's heat beside him, the combination of notes underneath his hands. They clapped obnoxiously when he finished. Unaware that they'd come in, Bella jumped and then joined in clapping.

"You should play her something you've written, Edward," Alice said and winked at him.

He would not play the lullaby.

"You write music?" Bella sounded delighted. "Of course you do."

He couldn't deny her. He played Esme's favorite with set off Alice pouting, but it lured the rest of the family into the room again and they spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know Bella. Jasper noticed Bella's hunger around two-thirty and Alice appeared with a club sandwich, tangerine, and glass of lemon water. Edward conceded it was a good idea to buy food. Never bet against Alice – he'd broken one of his own rules. As Bella drank the water, she grinned. "This reminds me of Phoenix. Everyone puts lemon in the water to masquerade the taste." Her cheeks flushed. "Not that—this water tastes great. I'm glad _some_one's here to enjoy it." Everybody laughed.

She left at six o'clock to make dinner for Charlie and looked totally comfortable hugging Esme and shaking Carlisle's hand, sharing a grin with Emmett. He liked her, everyone did, but they thought Edward was even crazier than before for not telling her his feelings.

He had expected some empathy from Carlisle because the situation was not dissimilar from his with Esme, but was disappointed. As always, Carlisle was kind and understanding in his thoughts, but _he_ had left Ohio directly after meeting Esme, while Edward lingered around Bella. Carlisle had made the right decision, he had no doubt – although what his father would be today if he hadn't found her again in the morgue Edward couldn't imagine – but Edward didn't know that kind of strength. Leaving Bella would be like burying himself alive.

It was hard enough watch her truck drive away in the twilight.

"Edward, you really—" He was preparing himself for a lecture when Alice collapsed. There was a blur and Jasper was at her side, holding her several inches from the ground. He pulled her carefully into his arms. Everyone ran to the entryway, watching Alice's face.

Her eyes fluttered open and she winced as if the light was too bright. Within a few moments her expression relaxed into its normal state, but she didn't move to stand on her own.

"Victoria," she whispered. "It's Victoria."

End notes

1) I'm totally happy with the casting of the movie, but I always imagined Emmett looking a lot like Tom Welling (Clark Kent on _Smallville_), mostly because of the muscles and curly dark hair and somehow looking like a little boy and the SEX at the same time: img./albums/v280/dapixamq/26911WellingTom.jpg. In fact, Tom and Maggie Grace, seen in the horrendous movie The Fog, would not have made a terrible Emmett and Rose: img./albums/v280/dapixamq/TheFogCaps166.jpg, img./albums/v280/dapixamq/151729wellgracel.jpg.

2) The movie title "Coming Up Daisy" was a last-minute edit, a little nod to "Burn After Reading" which I saw this weekend and is excellent.

2) How about this for Rosalie's dress… /estore/browse/productdetail.jsp?id11736435

3) About the greenhouse, from the Lexicon's correspondence, Meyer said that the third floor is mostly unaccounted for space and I thought it was sad use of the glass wall and came up with this… in my mind, part of the roof has been taken out for a skylight. I've known a few doctors and all of them have a passion or appreciation for gardening, see it as connected to the human body, and it made additional sense to me that Carlisle would want to help things grow.

4) The English of "Clair de Lune" is my own bastardized translation because I don't like anyone else's. It sounds way better in French, alas.


	7. Chapter 6: Trails

Chapter 6: Trails

The two weeks between Thanksgiving break and Christmas always blurred past for the humans. This was the first time if felt quick to Edward. Every day felt like God taunting him: _no, nothing happened to her today, but there's always tomorrow!_ Tomorrow came too quickly, every passing second made him more anxious he'd be too slow to save her. Victoria was planning something. He just had to figure out what it was and how to stop it. He had to.

His family never paid a great deal of attention to the recent events of humans, but newspapers could be useful. Starting in Seattle, Edward traced Victoria's movement south by her carnage. She stopped in every somewhat populated place to kill a few people – specially selected for the echo of pain they would cause: the fire chief in Corvallis, Oregon, a beloved elementary school teacher in Lovelock, Nevada – then continued on her way. By July she was in Arizona, by September she was in Texas, last month she was in Mississippi, but now she seemed to be doubling back, a well-known family of quintuplets found dead, naked, and piled in one twin bed in Utah, just Victoria's style.

Was she coming back for Bella? What else could she want?

Edward was hiding in front of Bella's house at night, listening to the thoughts of someone with her at all times. If she was alone, she was within his eyesight. He checked in on Victoria's thoughts regularly, but she was very careful, never thinking about her location, and making plans with code words. The "white fawn" was Bella, he was certain, and to "muddy" something was to torture it, but that was as much as Edward could figure out. If only he could follow Bella and stay in Victoria's mind at the same time, he might make some progress. As it was, he was having trouble to find time for homework. Ridiculous

Physically being with Bella helped. If he was next to her, he knew he could get to Victoria before Victoria got to Bella. Her face and her voice seemed to hold calming properties, too. Just her turning her gaze to him in class made his muscles relax, made him appreciate this moment with her instead of worrying about every future moment. He didn't want her to know anything was wrong and this phenomenon made it easy to hide.

He acted this way for two weeks before his family confronted him. Esme called for a family meeting. It took a few minutes to convince Edward to let go of Angela's mind and concentrate on his surroundings. Alice agreed to stay out of the conversation and focus on Bella's future. Everyone said their piece, but Emmett explained most succinctly, "This is going to drive you insane. Let us help you."

Edward didn't want to include the family in this when they didn't even support his relationship with Bella, but if they wanted to help so badly, he'd let them. He was grateful for it. He had been worried about how he was going to go hunting.

It was Rosalie who came up with the solution, at least in the short-term. "You're worried that Victoria's coming here for Bella, right? So put her somewhere else. Somewhere safe." Edward sighed, misunderstanding. Bella was not a doll. "I don't mean a box! I mean… her mother lives in Florida. Send her to her mother. Victoria would never think to look on the other side of the country and in the meantime, we'll find Victoria and make bread from her bones."

_Literally_, Jasper added. _Triturate her limbs and cook them in the oven as atonement for making Edward this anxious. _

It was a good idea and a good Christmas present besides. He ran to the Port Angeles airport to buy open-ended tickets to Jacksonville. One for Bella, of course. He toyed with the idea of giving her the second with his own name, but it would be uncomfortable for everyone to bring someone other than her boyfriend to meet her mother. Bella would probably be excited for Jacob and Renée to get to know one another. What a perk. Another for Jacob Black, and a third, first class, for Jasper Hale. He'd agreed to covertly go along and watch over Bella, although hopefully there would be nothing out to get her in Florida. Edward begrudgingly admitted that Jacob, with enhanced strength and speed, could most likely protect Bella from the littler things she would inevitably get herself ensnared in.

Getting her to go, and without any suspicions, that was a trickier business. He decided to give her the tickets Monday the twelfth, one week before he hoped she'd leave. The first hour of their Calculus study was coming to an end and Bella was drawing stars in the margin of the review sheet instead of doing the last equation Edward had gone over. He snatched away the paper form under her pen and put it in her notebook. "Enough! I have something for you."

"It's not a present, is it? I hate presents." She was twisting a bracelet around her wrist by a little wooden wolf. She hadn't told him about it, but he knew from Jacob's mind that it was an anniversary present given to her on his birthday. He wanted to melt the link chain into silver bullets. If it was even real silver.

Wincing exaggeratedly, he said, "It is a present. I'm giving you your Christmas present early."

"You—why can't anyone tell me when we're exchanging gifts? Let me know we're celebrating a _seven month_ anniversary – who does that?" He squinted at her. Under most circumstances, he would tell her he knew something from listening to Jacob's thoughts, but he'd been in her friends' minds so obsessively recently that he was embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Thank you. You'll be getting—"

"No, no, you don't have to get me anything." She rolled her eyes. "Here."

He handed her a brown leather travel portfolio, two plane tickets and four tickets to Disney World inside. She saw the plane tickets first. "What? For me and Jake—to Florida?" She traced the edge with her index finder. "Edward, this is way too much. How much—"

"I think it's just right. Money's not an issue. You haven't seen your mom in almost a year, she's never met Jacob, Christmas break is just around the corner, and you deserve a break after the way you've been studying for finals. It's perfect and I'm glad I could do it."

"I—can you return them?"

"Absolutely not. Now, they're open-ended, so you can leave and come back whenever you want… but, if you look in the other pocket, there are a few tickets to Disney World for Wednesday the twenty-first, so you might want to take the first week of winter break." She stared at him, not blinking. "You told me you've always wanted to go. You _do_ want to go, don't you?"

"_Yes_, I want to go, but—why did you do this?"

Do not look guilty. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He widened his eyes a little, smiled at her, and touched her hand. "I just wanted to make you happy. Why does anyone give gifts?"

"How am I supposed to explain this to Jacob? Or Charlie?" Edward grinned, then hid it quickly. This was just whining. She had given in.

"Tell them it was a rich, eccentric aunt."

"Aunt Edwina?" She smiled. "Renée does have an uncle… senile and loaded. If she called to thank him and Uncle Kellan denied it, they'd probably both thought he'd forgotten." A smile blossomed on her face. "Thank you so much, Edward. This is an amazing present."

Better than a stupid charm bracelet. "You're welcome."

"And a ticket wallet?" She ran her hand over the smooth leather, then went through all the compartments. "You really don't know how to make an understatement, do you?"

"You mentioned once that you're always worried you'll lose your ticket in the airport and not be allowed on the plane." He'd ordered it online the evening of that conversation and he was grateful he had a reason to give it to her.

"Is it—you got it monogrammed? Edward! This is absurd!" There was a twinkle of delight behind her glare. He just shrugged. "I _will_ get you something – something this awesome!"

"I know you will." Anything she gave him would be wonderful. "But giving me a gift is completely unnecessary."

Later that night, Carlisle confronted him. "Edward, you should tell Bella what's going—"

"No." Generally, Edward took Carlisle's advice very seriously, but he had thought about this situation more than anyone else could. He knew what he was doing. He went back to Charlie's brain; he was still talking to Bella while she worked at the stove.

Carlisle sat down next to him on the couch. "Don't you think—?"

"No. I know she's an adult and she should be in control of her own life, but I'd have to tell her that what happened with James last spring—"

"You haven't told her that?" He could hear the surprise in Carlisle's voice, a rarity in his composed, even speech. Edward didn't know what was so surprising.

"No, I haven't. I don't want her to feel obligated to me and I don't want—" He sighed and said quietly, "I don't want her to know how much I care for her, and always have… even before we spoke."

To expedite this conversation, Edward took quick inventory of Carlisle's mind. _—if she knew there was something to watch out for, she could be more careful—_

"No, it's just the opposite with Bella. She'd naturally clumsy and if she's nervous, that will only be enhanced. It will be best if I make the threat disappear like there never was one. I don't want her life to be more complicated just because I'm in it."

"Love is complicated." —_she knew how much you care, she would have to admit that she loves you_— That wasn't love, that was a tangy mix of lust and gratitude. "You saved her life, now you're doing it again – you're giving her a gift—"

"She hates gifts. It's getting dark. I should go to her house—" He stood and Carlisle followed him out of the room.

"Why don't you let someone else take a night guarding her? You could play the piano a little, write that paper on the Supreme Court—"

"I have two days for that. Thank you for your concern." He turned to Carlisle and squeezed his shoulders. "I have it all under control."

A friend of Jasper's in San Francisco had just sent them a few new Macintosh computers, set to be released in 2007 and Edward tucked an extraordinarily thin laptop in his bag before he left. He'd had no luck doing homework so far, but perhaps he'd do better tonight.

He climbed up an old oak across the street from her house and settled against a thick branch and the trunk. The leaves were sparse in front of him to give him a clear view of her bedroom windows, but he was far enough back to obscure any sight of him. He was on this branch every night. The animals were used to him now, though they'd never been made very nervous, just as the ant wasn't frightened of the tiger. Tigers have no interest in ants.

The downstairs was filled with blue light, Charlie watching television. Bella was in the bathroom, he knew because Charlie could hear the shower running and bemoaned the old clanking pipes. This made Edward very nervous. Victoria would love to attack Bella when she was that vulnerable, naked and wet. He was enormously relieved when Charlie registered the water turning off and footsteps down the upstairs hallway, yet more when he saw her step into her bedroom, hair wet and dripping down her back, body wrapped in an oversized blue towel.

He hated this part. She had no reason to be nervous changing in front of her open window; you had to have supernatural powers to see her from the outside. But Edward did have supernatural powers and he did see her. This was the only time of the night that made him feel like a perverted stalker to be spending the night in a tree outside her house. He didn't want to watch her – yes, he _did_ – but he didn't want to leave her unguarded for even a second. His Victorian modesty won out and he looked away for the twenty seconds it would take her to put on night clothes, but once she took the towel off too quickly and he saw everything, every inch of fair skin, every curve, every mole, the dimples in her back, her belly button, her nipples in the cold night air. Now he saw her every time he looked away.

Thankfully, he missed even a glimpse of midriff tonight. She made final edits on her English essay and printed it out, filled out half of a history study guide, set her alarm, and snuggled into her pillows to read _Dr. Zhivago_. She only made it three pages before her eyes started drooping and she went to sleep. It was quarter to midnight and Edward had six and a half hours to look at her. And watch for danger, of course. And perhaps write his Government essay. Or not. Bringing his legs up to his chest, he hung his bag on a stub of a branch and leaned his head on his knee.

The week went even more quickly than the last. All of his homework was finished with the help of an essay from the eighties, retyped on an old keyboard he could destroy with his rapid finger work.

Sunday night, Bella asked to meet him to say goodbye. He could have gone to her house or she could have gone to his or they could have met in a public place, a coffee shop or a park, but he said they should meet at the meadow and Bella said, "_Yes_, exactly," like it was just what she'd hoped for. What he'd thought of as "my meadow" since he'd first found it, was now "our meadow," but he realized that all he'd done there was think about her. It had always been their meadow.

"We're leaving tomorrow and taking a red eye on Saturday night, so I get Christmas Eve with her and the day with Charlie," she told him, walking across the meadow and back again. "I confirmed it with Renée last night. She's so excited. So is Jacob. So is Charlie, actually, although he seems worried I'll decide to move back."

"He's freaking out a little," he confirmed. Charlie was petrified of that, actually. It was always in the back of his mind and Edward had been spending so much time there that, although he knew Bella would stay in Forks for Jacob if nothing else, he was now a little worried she wouldn't come back. "You might want to reassure him one more time before you leave."

Bella wasn't paying attention. "It's become a gift to everyone. That's what I wanted to tell you. Everyone loves Uncle Kellan. So, thank you. Again. For everybody, since no one knows you're the anonymous benefactor, that there even is any anonymous benefactor."

"You're so welcome. Have a wonderful—" She stopped walking and turned to him. Their gazes met and then she took a few hesitant steps forward and put her arms around him. He was desperate to hold her, to lift her into his arms, to press her beneath him on the ground, but he retrained and only patted her back. "Have a wonderful time."

By Tuesday afternoon, he knew he couldn't just wait for Victoria to come to Forks. She might not come for weeks and he was antsy waiting another hour. He asked Alice to lookout for Charlie. After a few hours of studying Victoria's thoughts for inadvertent landmarks and the papers for some kind of trail, he felt ready to go. He made one stop to fill Bella's truck with gas in case she beat him back to Forks and took a plane to Pocatello, Idaho.

* * *

The sky appeared as Renée drove out of the airport, a shocking bright white. By the time they were on the freeway, it was raining. Jacob laughed, clapped his hands. "Just like home."

Bella's first thought was that Edward could have come and been just fine. Every time she noticed the sky again, she felt a little pinch of disappointment that Edward wasn't in the car with her. She thought it was probably a bad sign.

Renée was delighted with Jacob. It was clear just from how she looked at he and Bella together, but she said as much to Bella while they were at Disney World on Wednesday. Jacob and Phil wanted to go on a lot of roller coasters she and Renée wouldn't touch, so they walked down the World Showcase in Epcot.

"Bella, I'm so happy—" she started as they walked through Morocco.

"I'm really glad, Mom. Jacksonville seems like a really great—"

"No, not with Jacksonville. I mean, yes, I'm happy in Jacksonville. It's even better when the sun comes out… I bet you miss the sun, huh? But that's not what I… oh, yes, I'm happy for _you_. For you and Jacob."

"Oh," Bella said, softly. "Yeah, Jacob's great."

"It just seems like a perfect high school relationship. Nothing too serious, just—fun." Bella wrinkled her nose and nudged her mother. "I'm not trying to be demeaning. It's healthy! I'm not saying that you two won't get married some day, of course you might build up to that, but you're not going to just fall into it."

"Mom, I do love him."

"Young love, Bella. It's perfect! Although he is kind of _big_ for sixteen, isn't he?" Bella laughed. If her mother was happy, there was no reason to argue, so Bella took her hand and lead her back towards the animals.

It's not that she thought Renée was wrong. It wasn't a serious relationship. They both forgot their sixth month anniversary, he was probably just as terrified of marital commitment as she was, she had a big crush on his nemesis, for goodness' sake. It just highlighted that, in all likelihood, Jacob had a much more serious relationship ahead of him and something else—that a fun, healthy relationship wasn't enough. That there was something better out there.

Bella had been looking for a Christmas present for Edward that would contend with this trip and she found it when they went through China. Bella bought up a box of origami paper and started folding butterflies during every sedentary minute.

As if to mock the first few days of mild, overcast weather, a heat wave arrived on Thursday. With a huge demand for their air conditioning to be turned back on, the heating and air company wasn't guaranteeing their air would be working again until Friday afternoon. They spent Thursday sitting in the living room watching _Supernatural_, Renée's new favorite show. Ice cubes melted on their skin and fans moved around hot air.

Jacob was easily the most uncomfortable and was asleep on Bella's bed, pulled out from the sofa by seven o'clock. The humans lasted only a few more hours. She was going to wake up Jacob to move to his own bed, but Renée stopped her. "You don't have to move him. Spend the night together – it's not like you're going to do anything in this heat."

Bella smiled weakly and lay down again. How could she tell her mother sleeping with Jacob was like sleeping with a furnace? Just sitting next to him had been uncomfortable. She was tempted to go to the guest room, where Jacob had been sleeping, but it was like a sauna in the back of the house and at least downstairs there was almost a breeze every once in a while.

If Edward had been here, he would have been like an ice pack wrapped around her back. Bella groaned and smothered her face in a pillow, but that was too hot. It was too hot to do anything but lay there, trying to make sure her body wasn't touching anything more than it had to. Eventually, she fell into a half-sleep, always a little awake and aware that it was so hot.

She was in the nightmare by midnight. She was prepared for it; it was cool that day in the woods, a common April forty-five degrees, but by the end she was petrified, hot and sweating. She couldn't remember why she was scared, but she remembered the heat. The visuals of the dream were simple, just the forest, dizzy, smearing around her, flashes of white… red eyes, deep set, slanted down, pale lips in a twisted grin. The nightmare rarely played out to the conclusion, the relief, that blissful cold, the feeling of being carried, and dark, golden amber, just the color of Edward's eyes two days after a hunt. Had that always been there or was it added once she'd met him? She knew the conclusion wasn't coming tonight. The middle was repeating like a skipping record.

But then the cold did come. This was not how it usually happened. It was concentrated on her forehead, then her neck, then—oh, it felt so good. Slowly, she woke up. First she noticed Edward, then everything else around her. She was still in Renée's living room, the air was still hot, Jacob was still next to her and, she knew when he snored, still sleeping. What was Edward doing here? She opened her mouth to speak, but he brought a finger to his lips to silence her. He moved his hands around her body, her wrists and the back of her neck, the small of her back. She watched his face while he did it, the concentration in his gaze.

Once everything felt like she'd put it on ice, he bent his head and – was he going to kiss her? Their mouths were so close. She wanted it more badly than she'd ever wanted anything. She opened her mouth in preparation, but he didn't kiss her, he just blew, filling all her senses with the incredible flavor of his breath, seeming to cool down the inside of her body the way his hands had the outside. It pooled in between her thighs. She was feeling lightheaded and then—it was morning. The cable box said nine thirty-seven.

"He made me faint!" Or had he even been here?

"Who did?" Jacob groaned, stretching as he woke up. She shivered. "Hey, the AC's back on! Excellent!" His grin disappeared. "What is that _smell_?"

Renée and Phil came in the room and saved her from having to answer. Renée bent and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Bella, you smell wonderful! How did you escape the stink of sweating for twenty-four hours?"

So Edward had been here.

"Jacob, I bet you're bummed – got the night with Bella and slept through all of it," Phil said, sending blushes all around. "You're not getting the same bed tonight, my boy! Central air makes for loose fingers. Who wants breakfast?"

"I'm going to shower!" Bella said and ran for the stairs. The bed would probably keep some of Edward's smell, but the AC's moving air would take care of that by the afternoon. She could put the clothes she was wearing in the wash right after she showered – a good idea anyway because underneath Edward's smell, they were pretty rank.

The next-door neighbors had a pool and three little girls who had come to adore Jacob, so they spent the afternoon there. Bella took the time while Jacob was distracted to call Edward, under the pretense of getting snacks. He didn't pick up his cell phone and Esme said he wasn't at home when she called the house. "He's gone on a little trip—"

"Yeah, to Florida?" Bella shouted and hung up, then immediately felt bad and called back to apologize. It wasn't Esme's fault that Edward dropped by her bed in the middle of the night to touch her—Bella felt a tingly chill rush through her body. She wasn't even angry with Edward. It made her even angrier with herself. She filled a plastic bowl with pretzels and went back next door.

The Jacksonville, Dallas, and Port Angeles airports were all packed early Christmas morning. Charlie greeted them at security with happy, bleary eyes, muttering that he was glad they were coming into Port Angeles because there had been a rise in crime in Seattle in the week they'd been gone.

Jacob, with enhanced vision at night and more energy, drove them home. She and Charlie both slept in late, had brunch, and opened presents under a tree that overtook their living room in twinkle lights. At two o'clock, there was a knock at the door. Bella was listening to her new MP3 player on the couch and didn't realize it was Edward until Charlie nudged her.

She almost fell off the couch sitting up and said, very elegantly, "Hi!"

"Edward brought us a case of Dark Lord stout." Charlie brought a bottle up to his face and whistled. "This might be the best beer in the world."

"That's from Carlisle, sir, a thank you for your quick thinking at the crash site on Thursday. I hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said, standing with his arms behind his back at the door. He was more stunning then she remembered, somehow. His dress shirt was pale yellow and brightened his eyes. "I just wanted to wish you both a merry Christmas."

"No, no you have to stay for dinner, Edward! And drink a beer!" Just the sight of the beer was making Charlie act a little tipsy.

"Oh, no thank you, sir. I think that brew might knock me off my feet. You enjoy it."

"I was just about to start making risotto for dinner," Bella said, standing up. "I need to stay by the stove for hours. Want to hang out with me?"

He walked behind her to the kitchen and Bella busied herself by taking out a cutting board and an onion. "The smell's pretty strong – will this be disgusting for you?"

"Your scent will overwhelm everything else, not to worry. Although I don't like it being tarnished with that—I don't think I liked onions even when I was human." He stared at his feet for a few seconds. "I can't believe you're not furious with me."

"You really were in Jacksonville, weren't you?" He nodded, though she only saw from her peripheral vision as she focused on chopping the onion. She tried to laugh. "It was nice to be cooled down. What were you doing there?"

"Business took me down to the south—"

"_Business_?" She snapped the knife down. "What business? Will you sit down! Edward, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine, but don't lie."

"I'm not—_really _lying." Edward reached behind himself to grab a chair and put it underneath him. "I'm sorry—I was just a couple hundred miles from Jacksonville and then I was just _there_ and… you were having a nightmare. I can't—couldn't seem to help myself."

Bella forgave him, then. He would never try to hurt her. "It worked. After you made me _faint_, I don't think I had any dreams at all."

He hid a smirk behind his hand. "Good. Can I help you with the risotto?"

"You could grill the asparagus. But you really don't even have to stay if you don't want—it's nice to see you."

Edward went to the refrigerator and took the asparagus from the vegetable drawer. "Can I use the same cutting board as the onion? It's nice to see you, too."

He stayed for dinner and got out eating by saying he had to eat again later with his parents. She walked him out to his car with his present hidden under her coat. "It's not wrapped—"

"No." He pressed his hand against hers, keeping the shoebox hidden. "Come to the house tomorrow. Give it to me then. Everyone wants you to come, wish you a merry Christmas and all that. Will you come?"

"Of course!" His gift would be much easier to give if she had free access to his room. "But I don't have a present for everybody." She grinned. "I do have one for Alice and Rosalie, though. Disney World came in handy."

"No one wants anything. You're so sweet to think of them." Edward grinned and waved and Bella turned to see Charlie on the porch. "See you around ten, again? Can you find your way there?"

"I'll miss the road a few times, but I'll find it eventually. Bye!" He opened the door to his car and Bella ran up to Charlie.

The next morning, Bella went to the grocery store to buy a bouquet of flowers as a blanket gift for the Cullens and found a fresh order of Paperwhite bulbs. Their scent was strong and heady and they would fit in perfectly in the all-white downstairs of the house.

Esme looked like she might cry when she saw the bundle of flowers in Bella's arms. "Edward insisted you hated gifts! I'm going to kill him!" She put her arm around Bella and pulled her inside. "These are beautiful, thank you so much. I have just the perfect little vases for them – they're up the library somewhere."

"The smell's not bad to your olfactory system is it?"

"Not at all! As a rule of thumb, if you want to eat it, we'll hate it. Even overcooked meat smells foul. Otherwise, things seem to work about the same." Esme leaned her head toward Bella's and whispered conspiratorially, "I think Paperwhites smell pretty sexy, to tell you the truth. Carlisle had—mmm. Never mind, dear. Here's Alice and Edward! I'll just go upstairs and find those vases."

"Merry Christmas, Bella!" Alice said as she flitted towards her. Edward just smiled

"Oh, of course! Merry Christmas, dear, we're all so glad you could come again."

They led her to the main part of the room, lit with red and green spotlights and a brightly decorated tree. _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ was playing on a huge pull-down screen. A table was set with a velvet green cloth, white candles, a gingerbread house, and a few plates of food. "Plum pudding," Alice said, pointing. "Fruitcake, and eggnog. It's second Christmas!"

Jasper, Carlisle, and then Emmett and Rosalie came in to greet her and they all stood around the table, talking. When Esme came back inside and told everyone to sit down, Bella decided to put Edward's gift together before she got to comfortable. "Actually, I need to be alone in Edward's room for a little while." He raised an eyebrow and she was so pleased to know something he didn't. "Keep him down here, please. I'll be five minutes."

She went up the stairs and closed his door behind her. His room smelled wonderful, like he'd just rubbed himself over the walls and Bella took a deep breath before getting to work. The night before she'd attached short pieces of fishing line to fifty finished butterflies. Now she just needed to arrange them and hang them from his ceiling with little map tacks and a hammer. The end result was just what she wanted: a surprise, a burst of color, and very pretty. It was also awfully girly. He'd probably take them down by the weekend, but that was okay.

There was a knock at the door. "It's been five minutes," Edward called.

"You're so impatient!"

"I don't often have to wait to know something."

"It's a good lesson." Bella opened the door a crack and narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay, I guess you can come in."

He stared open-mouthed at the display. A breeze came in through one open window and made it look like the wings moved. "Bella—this is beautiful. You made them?"

"In elementary school, when the art teacher went on maternity leave, they had to replace her with one of the P.E. teachers and all he knew how to do was origami so we folded paper all year." She shrugged, embarrassed by his reaction, as he touched one of the lower-hanging pieces carefully, almost reverently. "I hadn't thought about it in years and then I saw some paper and—yeah. Merry Christmas."

"Thank you." He took her hand in his and rubbed her palm with his thumb for a few seconds. "This really blows my gift out of the water."

"No!" she said. "Are you crazy?"

"Bella, my gift took exactly one hour and three minutes to put together, most of which was spent running to the Port Angeles airport. You _did_ this, you—" He lifted her hand and stroked her fingertips. "You have paper cuts. You bled for this gift. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said. "But the trip was amazing, even if it didn't harm you in any way."

They went back downstairs and Bella asked to give the gifts to Alice and Rosalie. Everyone grumbled that Edward told them not to get her anything, but she was so grateful he had. She probably would have ended up with a car and a reserved parking space in every major U.S. city or something. She gave Alice her gift first.

"It's a Tinkerbell costume," Bella said, before Alice had even untied the ribbon. "You've always reminded me of—oh, please don't let this be offensive! You've always reminded me of a fairy and I saw this and—"

"Eeeeeeee!" Alice grinned and practically flew out of the room, leaving strips of wrapping paper falling around the spot she'd just vacated.

Less nervous to give Rosalie her present now that the Alice's had gone so well, she handed her the gift. Rosalie efficiently removed the paper and opened the plastic box and was staring at the shiny, bright pink hand-held mirror.

"It's from _Snow White_," Bella said, cautiously. "Well, a modern interpretation of _Snow White_ in which the wicked Queen is a twelve-year-old girl. Um—"

Rosalie pressed the little button and, "Magic mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" in a crackly women's voice boomed out, followed by a tinkling sound, and flashing pink lights. She pressed it again. "You are, my queen," it said this time. A smile slowly appeared on Rosalie's face until her skin was practically glowing.

"I love it!" she said, then more quietly, tapping the edge, "Yes, I am."

Alice jumped into the middle of the circle of chairs and couches, seemingly from nowhere, wearing the bright green, shredded mini dress and iridescent wings. Everyone laughed and Edward clapped. For a moment, Jasper's gaze was smoldering and possessive, but he quickly relaxed and cheered Alice into dancing around the room.

The party became more relaxed after that. Esme collected all the wrappings and everyone else settled into their own conversations.

"That was inspired, Bella," Emmett said, dropping down next to her on the couch. "Alice looks adorable in that costume."

"_How_ adorable does Alice look in that costume?" Rosalie said as she walked past.

"Rosy," Emmett said, getting on to his knees and twisting a lock of her hair around his finger. "I have to force myself to look away from you, to stop touching you, to even live my life—"

"He does," Edward and Jasper said simultaneously, from across the room.

Emmett didn't react to them, just stared at Rosalie and ran his free hand down her cheek. "You know that," he said, almost too softly for Bella to hear. She forced herself to look away while they kissed.

Appeased, Rosalie sat down next to Carlisle and Esme and Emmett continued talking to Bella. "Edward's gift, too—beautiful. He loves it."

"I wish I could have gotten him something better—"

"More expensive, you mean."

Bella shrugged. "Not just for the sake of it, although it would have been nice to go a pound for a pound, you know?" Emmett nodded, his eyes kind. "Actually, you know that Ferrari he used to have?" At this Emmett winced and Bella remembered he was the one to destroy it. "I looked it up online and Roberto Rossellini commissioned one of that same kind for Ingrid Bergman in the color of her eyes and I thought that Edward has – well, you all have – the most incredible golden eyes and _that's_ a color I'd like for a car. I would have bought him another Ferrari in that color if I could."

"That would have been a tremendous gift, Bella," he said. "But I assure you this one is tremendous, too. He _loves _it." From his tone, Emmett affectionately thought Edward was a little out of his mind.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Bella was surprised at how comfortable the morning had been. The Cullens couldn't have been more kind and accepting. She hated to compare Edward to Jacob again, but she never felt this way on the reservation. The pack was extraordinarily close, intimate in a way that not even Emily felt a part of. Bella felt a certain camaraderie with Emily and Kim, the army wives, but there was also a noticeable separation: they had been imprinted, she had not. What was wrong with her? their gazes wondered. They seemed to be prepared for the inevitable break up, when Jacob did imprint on someone, Bella was replaced, and they had to make friends with that girl.

The food was better at Emily's house, however. Bella fixed herself a plate plum pudding, but when Carlisle called it frumenty and explained how it was made, she couldn't take even one bite.

"You're having a good time, aren't you?" Edward sounded surprised as he sat down next to her.

They got on the topic of colleges. Her mother had taken an off-route to Orlando so they could pass through Gainesville, home to University of Florida. She had so far applied there, mostly to pacify Renée, and a few public schools in Washington and a few in Oregon. She really didn't know where she wanted to go or even what she wanted to do, so staying close to home seemed like her best option. "Not very ambitious, are you?" Bella shrugged. "What's your GPA?"

"Three-point-seven-something—math always did me in. Until this year."

He smiled. "SAT?"

"Fourteen-sixty."

"Do you realize that puts you in the ninety-eighth percentile?" No, she hadn't. Edward's eyes were wide and excited. "With a good essay, you could easily get into to a top school."

"I can't afford it—"

"If Harvard or Stanford decide they want you, they give you the money to go," he assured her. "Plus there are outside scholarships and grants and, if necessary, loans. If you work at it a little, you won't even have to pay for a mini fridge and books out of pocket. Are—did you stay in the Northwest because of Jacob?"

"No!" she said, her inner-feminist reeling. Then she sighed. "Jacob was a consideration. I know I shouldn't base my future on a guy, but… he's got two more years in high school and—I don't know how long this relationship is going to last anyway, with his body ready to imprint on somebody else, so I want to enjoy what time we have."

"I _hate_ that he makes you worry about that." Edward's hands were twitching on his thighs. "How could he leave you? _How_?" Bella didn't know what to say. She was suddenly dizzy with how close he was, with the desire to calm his hands with hers, to taste him— "I'm sorry. Will you humor me and apply to a few Ivies?" What could it hurt? She nodded. "I'll pay the application fee—"

"_No_—" He put his hand up.

"I insist. Essays are pretty standardized, so you probably won't even have to write much new material. Who wrote your recommendation letters?"

Before she could answer, Carlisle appeared in front of them. "I'd be happy to write you one, if you'd like. I'm rather respected in my profession and in Harvard's records having graduated there in—when is it, now?" Esme and Jasper called out the answer. "Right, 1996. They're quite proud to have my name, though no one remembers me."

The group at large convinced Bella to accept the offer. Edward created an account for her at The Common Application and she started filling out her basic information while he called her guidance counselor and Mr. Banner at their homes to tell them to forward their letters for Bella Swan to Princeton, Dartmouth, Harvard, and Yale. Addressed envelopes would be in their mailboxes the next morning.

A little annoyed at his commandeering the situation, Bella said, "And where did _you_ apply?"

"Princeton," he said, with a small smile, "Dartmouth, Harvard, Yale." Bella felt a thrill at the idea that they might spend the next four years together, that Edward might want that. "I don't always go to college, of course… sometimes we move and I start as a freshman in high school again." Bella looked down and focused on finding the alphabet in the keyboard to keep the disappointment off her face. It was a bad idea to get that attached to Edward, anyway. "But it's about time to go again."

She couldn't help grinning. "Isn't the east coast too sunny for you?"

"From October to March there is a rare sunny day," he explained, "and during the rest of the school year direct sunlight is quite easy to avoid. Lots of tall brick buildings."

She was trying to figure out how to close a page on a Macintosh when she noticed the time. The Christmas lighting scheme had veiled the setting son. "Oh, I need to go home before Charlie orders a pizza. This computer's so much faster than mine," she bemoaned, thinking of working on her application at home. She ran her hand over the smooth, white lines of the monitor. "And prettier."

"Jasper, could you get her one?" Alice said. He nodded and took his phone from his pocket, presumably to call whoever would send her the computer.

"No!"

Edward laughed. "No, thank you, Jasper. We'll have to warm her up to that." Bella sputtered. "You can come here and use the computer whenever you like."

"Tomorrow?" She stood up and searched for her purse in the living area.

He was distracted for a few moments, then said, voice low and thoughtful, "I think Jacob would like you to come to La Push tomorrow. He has some news."

"What news?"

Shaking his head, Edward followed her to the front door. "He should tell you. You're welcome here any time."

End Notes

1) And _again_ from footnote 10, Meyer said that they call the third floor "the library."

2) Common App is a very excellent site which simplified my college application process a million times over. Most people know about it and I think the only reason Edward didn't use it for Bella is because the deadlines had past and he had to be underhanded about it, thus my deviation from his behavior in EC.


	8. Chapter 7: Evasion

Chapter 7: Evasion

"These scholarships are due in a week," he said, dropping a stack of shiny pamphlets in front of her, unceremoniously. "Get cracking."

Angela leaned towards her and flipped through the first few. "Oh, I tried for that one. I wrote about my mom. Have you considered asking one of the local businesses to sponsor you? I bet the police station would do it—"

"Or the hospital," Edward said. This was code for "just let me pay for it." Bella was suspicious of every scholarship he showed her – did it say Cullen anywhere? Was that watermark their crest? Although it was very kind of him to give her the tickets to visit Renée, she sort of wished she hadn't accepted. It had opened a floodgate of attempted financial assistance.

"Isn't Mathilda Yorkie the hospital's merit scholar?" she said, glaring at him. "Oh, you know what I've been wondering about _Vesper_, by the way? Why is the vampire so overbearing?"

"Maybe because he's vastly more mature and knows better."

"I wonder why the girl finds it so sexy…" she muttered, without thinking.

"She _does_?" Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie said, slightly off from one another.

Heat crawled up her chest to the tips of her ears. "Well, she can't exactly help it. The vampires were transformed to attract humans at all costs, right?" As Edward's expression was overtaken with guilt, Bella regretted her harsh words. She squeezed his knee under the table. "Lucky he never abuses that power. He's such a good person."

"Not a person," Edward muttered, but she had successfully made him feel better, anyway. It helped to remember that he would make her find him repulsive if he had that power. It would be so much easier to want her if she didn't want him back, if it was truly only friendship on her part. It would be _easiest_ if they just wanted one another and took one another, of course, but if she had Jacob, why did she have to want Edward, too?

Bella's hand started gripping and stroking his leg, up and down, in a motion very reminiscent of— "He _is_ a person."

Edward tried to force his mind away from the idea of public hand jobs by studying her face. How incredible that she truly thought of him as good as human.

"Oh, Bella," Alice said as lunch ended. "Esme, Rose, and I are going to an auction this weekend and we'd really love for you to come."

Edward rolled his eyes at Alice's attempt at nonchalance. "It's a Sotheby's auction, Bella, and in New York. You'd have a wonderful time, of course, but it would take some explaining."

"Explaining" was code for "lying," mostly to Jacob. He didn't know how he wasn't suspicious that Bella was keeping something from him. Perhaps it was because two more boys had begun their werewolf change in the past few weeks. The pack was on his mind at least as much as Bella was. There were now six wolves. Why were they changing now? Jacob thought it was because of his family's arrival, but Edward thought was very worried it was because of something more. Victoria came to mind. What could she be planning that would make the werewolf gene so nervous?

"I don't know—"

"Oh, please?" Alice pouted.

"Just tell Charlie it's a sleepover—it _is_, it's just at The Palace instead of our house," Rosalie said. Edward could tell the fact Rosalie wanted her to go was swaying Bella to do so. She had been to the house six times now – Edward felt like a little girl writing the dates a boy nudged her as he walked past in the back of her trapper keeper – and it already felt like she belonged there, but it was obvious she was still nervous that no one really liked her, especially Rosalie and Emmett. Silly Bella.

"Will we back by Sunday night – Sunday at five?" The werewolves and their various companions were having a dinner to welcome the newcomers and Jacob hadn't even considered Bella might not be there.

"Yes!" Alice said, bouncing. "Yay!" Bella offered to pay for her ticket, the hotel room, but no one listened. It was charming that she tried so earnestly.

As their Friday departure came nearer, Edward became more paranoid that Bella would cut herself on something in the hotel room and Alice, Esme, and Rosalie would either run from the temptation and Bella would bleed to death or they would stay and kill her. He had been planning on taking the time Bella was out of town and protected to search for Victoria again. His last try had been a disaster, probably leading him towards Florida more because he wanted to see Bella than because any of the leads were very convincing. Now he thought he would follow them to New York. He had little idea where Victoria was, anyway.

"Do _not_," Alice said. "We're not going to hurt her, but _you_ are going to freak her out by running into the hotel room like a maniac. _And_ make us owe the king's ransom for breaking the door. You're welcome to come, but don't be so underhanded."

In the end, Edward decided to stay close to home. Emmett was feeling neglected, anyway. If the women were having a girl's night out and shopping for abstract impressionism, the men could go to Mexico and hunt jaguars.

After a few hours of hunting, they had to make camp and spent most of the night just talking about the women. "New bet!" Jasper said.

"Yes!" Emmett said, ran up a tree trunk and somersaulted back down. Edward and Carlisle was holding one another up, laughing. They couldn't get drunk, but a few jaguars worth of blood in their system and the hot, Mexican air put them in a rather inebriated state for some time afterwards.

"I bet… that Edward and Bella are _dating _in one month." He held a straight face for a few seconds, then started sniggering like a hyena.

"That's ridiculous," Edward said.

"He's right." Carlisle nodded, his eyes too wide. "Where's your logic? What changes, what _galvanizes_ them to do it? I say it happens the morning after the first time she gets drunk Dartmouth. One thousand dollars."

"_What_?"

"Okay, Princeton. Wherever you want Edward." Carlisle rubbed the top of the head.

"You need a date!" Jasper said and Emmett chanted, "Date! Date! Date!" and then everyone fell apart laughing at the double entendre, except for Edward who was quite possibly sulking.

"Fine, Halloween – no, I mean the morning after. November first, 2006."

"You are on. Emmett?"

"When it comes out that he saved her from James and Victoria. I refuse to make a date."

"Then I don't have to name a date either," Carlisle said. They argued about that for another thirty seconds before Edward couldn't take it anymore and ran off. He didn't hold it against them – they probably had no idea how the idea of one day being with Bella tortured him. He checked in on the women. It was eight a.m. in New York and Esme was meeting an old friend at Tavern on the Green. Rosalie was at Sotheby's arranging to have a Rothko delivered to the house and a small Calder sculpture to be sent to the Denali. Alice and Bella were at the hotel spa. The manicurists were terrified of Alice's skin and she was delighted.

For a few minutes, it was very nice watching Bella get pampered and listening to their conversation, but if there was ever a time Edward wished he couldn't read Alice's mind it was when she asked Bella about Jacob Black's penis.

"Can I ask you a question?" Alice started innocuously enough. Edward stayed listening because he wanted to learn everything about Bella possible.

"Sure," Bella said, no more aware of the horrifying conversation to come.

"It's kind of a weird question." But Edward still wasn't worried. Bella just laughed and nodded for her to continue. "It's about Jacob." At this, he felt his stomach drop out, but that wasn't uncommon. "Have you had sex with him?"

Bella blushed. Alice produced a vibrant image of it, hot blood under translucent skin, spiky lashes hiding her eyes. "We—we've done some things. Third base, I guess." Edward generally wanted to rip Jacob's penis off, but now he wanted to rip off his hands, rip out his tongue, everything that had touched Bella the way only Edward should touch her.

"So, you've seen his penis." One of the manicurists cleared her throat and Alice glared.

"Yes."

"Have you seen him have an orgasm? Have you felt it?"

"Well, I—yes. Why is this interesting?"

"You told me the other day Jacob's about one hundred and nine degrees, right? The human body raises about five degrees during intercourse and then with friction… I wondered if it was incredibly hot. I was actually nervous you got a burn after—"

Edward pulled his mind away for a few seconds to calm down. If the dog _hurt_ Bella, then there was an entirely different issue at hand. Perhaps he could be excused for ripping – or, more humanely, cutting – off the werewolf's penis if he was harming innocent girls.

"—_is_ very hot," Bella was saying. "But he—this is so embarrassing. Um, he doesn't have much stamina, so it's not so bad. Like, um, trying to grab a bread roll too soon after they come out of the oven. When he—lasts longer, I don't know—and _inside_ me, um. I'm a little—I'm nervous. Kim asked Emily – they both imprinted with other guys in the pack – about it and Emily started talking about playing with ice and the pleasure in contrasts… it was kind of gross, but maybe that will be fun…"

_Edward?_ Alice thought suddenly. _Don't torture yourself, Edward. _He wished desperately that he could respond to her, now that she knew he was listening, tell her to ask about Jacob's size, so he could compare it to his own. She would probably consider that more torture, anyway.

Right. He dropped out of her mind and ran back to the camp where Emmett was discussing getting married again and where to have the wedding. "Tavern on the Green," Edward said, voice surprisingly toneless as he sat down. "The crystal room. It's just Rose's style. Esme's there now. If you call her she can probably reserve it for twenty-ten."

They all stared at him for a few seconds, then Emmett said quietly, "Thanks, Edward," and left to make the call. His cursing having no service in third world countries only marginally helped lift the mood and then Jasper kicked in. Things with Bella weren't so bad. He got to see her, he got to touch her sometimes. That was wonderful.

"Why don't we go home?" He would be able to smell her in Forks. And there was that Victoria problem. He knew one thing about Victoria for sure: she was going to come to Forks to attack Bella, so the one sure counterattack was to stay in Forks and keep guard. It was an invigorating fourteen-hour run back. The sun was warm on his back until Salinas and then it was raining all the way up the coast. Maybe there would be a thunderstorm soon.

He spent the evening flipping through minds at the Neil Simon Theatre to watch Bella's reaction to _Hairspray._ Although no one paid enough attention to her, he could tell she was enthralled, absolutely immersed in the story and the music. She had been the same way at the auction the night before – sometimes appalled at how high Esme was willing and able to bid on the art, but mostly fascinated by the pieces themselves. He wanted to show her the world so badly. She would appreciate it just the way he wanted her to, just the way he had.

Once she was sleeping and no one thought it interesting to pay attention to her, Edward went around Forks looking for unfamiliar smells. No new vampires, but the werewolves had been within several yards of the house. There was nothing precisely wrong with that. The house was in the middle of the forest, after all, and where were they supposed to exercise their hysterical energy except the forest? But Edward and his family were not a threat, especially compared to the wolves' themselves, and there was no reason to _patrol_ around their home.

The pack clearly thought there was reason. They could sense something coming. Edward was sure it was Victoria, but they were convinced – Jacob especially – that those damn Cullens were building up to something bad. He considered that they should explain things to the wolves, work together, but never speaking to Jacob Black was very preferable.

* * *

Bella undoubtedly had a wonderful time in New York. She had done so many new things, ideas that Renée had picked up and thrown away before they could come to anything. She was honored to be included in the activities although she still didn't understand why she was. Yet still, she had missed Edward, had looked for him again and again, as if she expected him to always be at her side. It would be difficult not to tell everyone what she'd done over the weekend, but it wouldn't be so bad because she could tell Edward.

She was badly attached to him. It would be right to stop seeing him. The thought was unbearable. Was infatuation always this consuming? For the sake of her relationship with Jacob, she hoped not. But then she wouldn't always be with Jacob—on the sleepy plane ride back to Washington, she had a little fantasy that Jacob's would find his soul mate, imprint on her, and Bella would be able to console herself in Edward's arms, stay with him as long as the fates' allowed. It was the first time she had ever seen Jacob's expected rejection as a good thing. Reality hit her soon after.

Much more likely, Jacob wouldn't imprint for a long time. Maybe they would be in their forties – Jacob would still look like a brawny young man and he and his true love would have many beautiful years ahead of them. She wouldn't know Edward anymore and if she somehow found him again, he wouldn't recognize her or any of the affection he'd once felt for her. _You won't even remember him and this infatuation then_, she tried to tell herself. Best case scenario, she would return to the real world, forget about the creatures of the night, and find a new love in the autumn of her life, like Diane Lane in _Under the Tuscan Sun. _Great. That would be great.

"Are you all right?" Alice asked her, putting a cold hand on her arm.

"Yes," she said, and tried to pantomime that she was engrossed in the SkyMall catalog open on her lap. "All the great gadgets make me a little weepy."

Alice took the hint and went back to her book.

Esme was a scary driver, going almost eighty all the way back to Forks, but Bella was grateful for the extra time to shower, change, and make some spaghetti for Charlie before Jacob, still excited to finally have his license, arrived to pick her up. She was also grateful Alice had insisted she borrow one of the dresses she'd bought in New York. They went to a boutique where they were greeted with delicate cups of coffee and Alice made her try on a hundred dresses, one of which Bella had to admit looked quite good on her. It was made of layers of dark blue silk, with a belted waist that made her appear to have an hourglass figure, or at least the closest she would ever come to one. Alice said she wanted it for herself, then mentioned on the cab ride to another store that Bella should wear it to the dinner. Emily had called to tell Bella that it was going to be semi-formal and the only thing she could have worn was a long, khaki skirt.

When Jacob showed up in slacks and a tie and his jaw dropped as she walked down the stairs, she knew it was right to take the dress.

"You are so _hot_," Jacob whispered in her ear as she took his proffered arm. "Why haven't I seen you in that dress before?"

"It's pretty fancy for hanging out in your garage, Jake." Not a lie. She called into the kitchen, "Bye, Dad! I'll be home by eleven."

There was a full-mouth garble of approval and Jacob helped her with her jacket, held open the front door and then the car door for her. Nothing like a pretty dress to get the gentlemanly treatment. Jacob was extra affectionate in the car, resting his hand on her knee and rubbing her bare skin.

"Oh, hey, I drove past your house on Saturday and your car was in the driveway," Jacob said, his tone not suspicious, simply curious. Thank _god_ she didn't drive her car to the Cullens' and leave it there. If he had somehow seen that, she had no idea what she'd have done. "But I checked and you weren't in the house—"

"No, I was at the sleepover." Not a lie. "Um, Angela picked me up."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yep!" she said too fast, a little high-pitched, but he didn't notice.

"Why?"

"Why? Her parents pay for her gas." Not a lie. "And with gas prices going up and since we were going to be together the whole weekend, she just figured—"

"Yeah," Jacob laughed, satisfied. "That truck is a guzzler. The rabbit's not much better, actually. Well, I'm glad I picked you up too, then, because, you know, I'm a licensed driver." He kissed her hand, then grinned. "You never need to buy gas again, I'll just drive you around."

"Oh, yeah? I think sugar daddies generally have a chauffer on staff." Although Alice had been something of a sugar daddy this weekend and would probably slap someone unconscious before he drove her car, a Saab she had argued fervently they should take to the airport and back.

The dinner was at Emily's house, of course. Emily greeted them at the door with hugs and kisses. It was loud and joyful inside and the air smelled like rib roast and cornbread. They had lined three tables together and covered it in a white sheet and table settings for seventeen. Jacob went right to Quil and Emery. He had been spending a lot of time with them since they'd changed, relieved that he could finally be honest with his best friends again. Bella was still shocked at how much they'd changed and how similar they looked now. She wouldn't be able to pick her own boyfriend out a police lineup of the pack.

She looked around the room while they talked and saw Leah Clearwater sitting in an arm chair in the corner of the room, holding a tumbler of caramel-colored liquid and glaring at the wall. She watched Sam notice her, take a few steps towards her, then turn around and rush to Emily at the stove. Poor Leah. It had to be horrible actually seeing them, seeing how they fit together like puzzle pieces.

A few more people arrived and then Emily called everyone to sit at the table. Bella was put across from a seven-year-old and next to Leah and the end of the table – the outcast girls, she thought after being ignored for a few minutes straight in the middle of dinner – but the food was great and the she could see Jacob was happy, eating and sitting around everyone he loved.

When everyone's plates were empty, Sam stood up and clinked a spoon against his beer bottle. "So, you're probably wondering why we had this dinner—"

"To be with us, jackass!" Embry said and the rest of the pack laughed.

"Much as I love your company, Em, um… I asked Emily to marry me." There was an audible gasp. "And she said yes."

The left side of Emily's face burst into a grin. A few tears fell as she stood and was pulled into Sam's arms, then Sue Clearwater's and another woman Bella had put together was her mother. The table broke into applause and laughing, then the noise was overtaken with a loud crash. Bella's arm smarted from being whacked by Leah, kicking over her chair and running out the front door.

"Let her be," Sue said quietly, and everyone tried to bring the mood back with more congratulations and hugs. Bella helped clear the plates while Emily served coffee and cookies, when the conversation was broken again, this time by what sounded like an angry growl and then—a howl. The room froze, then Sam and Billy moved to action, Sam running out the door and Billy blocking anyone else from leaving.

"Everybody, just calm down and stay inside," Billy said, his voice loud and calm. "If there's something out there, you're just going to get hurt going after it. Sam knows what he's doing."

Jacob hadn't moved a muscle, was just staring out the window. "Oh my god," he said, his voice low. "Leah just phased."

He looked so shaken by the idea that Bella wanted to argue that it could have been anyone on the reservation, a real wolf even, but the words stuck in her throat. It was Leah. It was as if the night air whispered it.

After a few minutes, Jacob and Jared sneaked out to help Sam. The remaining pack formed a tight circle in the living room to talk about it. Emily was trembling with the quick change to the evening and Kim took her into the bathroom to calm down. This left Bella alone which a bunch of people she didn't know very well and she couldn't talk to about what was really happening.

After almost two hours, Sam, Jacob, and Jared came back inside, looking haggard. While Sam announced that everything was fine, Bella went to Jacob and he gave her a few kisses on the cheek. "Come on," he said. "I'll take you home and tell you what happened."

Leah's mind was torn to pieces as they chased her through the forest. When they finally caught up with her, Sam pounced to keep her still and when they phased back, she was naked and crying in his arms. Being so vulnerable and comforted by the man who had made her upset enough to phase in the first place made her phase again and there was another chase. This time Jared pounced on her instead and calmed her down enough to get her back to her house and in bed. "I think the exhaustion finally caught up with her. Sam's going to send Harry over to take care of her. God, I never expected this. I thought it would be Seth. I thought—"

"You didn't think it would be a girl."

"Yeah," Jacob admitted, quietly. He pulled up in front of her house.

Bella kissed him and ran her hand through his cropped short hair. "I guess—tell me if I can do anything. I'll see you soon."

Despite not being able to help, it had been an exhausting evening and Bella expected to pass out the second she sat on her bed. But she was agitated. She tried reading, but she couldn't concentrate. She tried doing what basic yoga she remembered from Renée's stint with it on her floor, but that made her feel even more awake. What she really wanted was to talk to someone, but it was midnight now and she couldn't tell anyone what happened, anyway.

Maybe a drive would make her feel better. Driving lulled babies to sleep, didn't it? She got in her car and headed to the road north out of town. She didn't recognize that she was going to Edward until she was just a few yards from the road to the house. She stopped the car when she was at the turn. She should turn back. What was she doing here? She was here to talk to him, she realized. He would be awake at midnight and he knew about the werewolves. He was the answer to her wish.

She turned on to the road.

* * *

Edward thought he was hallucinating when he smelled Bella from his room's open windows Sunday night. A few seconds later, his ears caught up with his nose and the sound of her car coming towards the house got steadily louder. As he walked down the stairs, he saw Alice standing at the front door, putting all her weight on one foot, then the other. She looked realized when she noticed he was also coming to see Bella and ran up the stairs.

"Alice!" he called, then sighed and turned on the porch lights, opened the door to wait for Bella outside.

He waved and smiled as he truck rumbled out of the trees. She looked exhausted as she parked the car and got out. What happened? Why was she here? She looked beautiful. Underneath her open jacket, she wore dark blue silk which was a little dusty and rumpled around the legs now, but still made her mouth look pink, her skin luminous, enhanced the gentle curve of her breast. He started towards her as she walked towards him and they met within a foot of one another. What now? He couldn't hug her. This dress had built-in arrows pointing to her subclavian arteries and he'd have to bite into one just to distract himself from kissing her.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she agreed. "I—um. I think I left the Monday-postmark scholarships in Esme's car and I—"

"Oh, yeah. You did. They were done, so I just… put them in the mail. I'm sorry, I should have called you."

"No! I wasn't home anyway." Right, the werewolf dinner. He was very tempted to go into Jacob's mind and see what could be wrong with Bella, but he couldn't leave this moment with her. "Could we—"

"Would you like to come inside and sit down?" She nodded and he let her lead the way inside, then could only follow her when she started up the stairs. It's not that he didn't want her in his room… it was that he so desperately wanted her there.

She took off her shoes and jacket and laid them by the door, then sat down in the middle of the couch and curled her legs underneath herself. Edward put himself on her right. This was easily the closest they had ever sat in so intimate a setting and he had to clench his hands in his lap to keep from touching her.

"What happened?"

First she told him about Leah Clearwater, brokenhearted and forced to phase into a werewolf, but then the story evolved into what he really wanted to hear, that Bella felt separate, from the pack, but also from the tribe at large, unimportant, and useless.

More than anything, he wanted to comfort her, but the problem was, that was all true. Even to Jacob himself, Bella was in one corner, of his heart, his life, the pack was in the other. He wholeheartedly thought she was the best girlfriend imaginable, but it wasn't her place to help with pack business. Even Sam didn't think Emily should do much more than provide a late-night ear to his problems within the pack, food for everyone, and shelter. They felt the women couldn't understand and maybe they were right. After spending time in their collective mind, he knew it would be difficult to be a part of that camaraderie without your own mental link.

He was unappreciative waste of space, but she loved him. So he said, finally, "Jacob loves you. He loves you so much. In his _heart_, you are the most important, the most useful. Let the boys have their secret club and know that where it really counts, you are _it_. You ground him. You're his core."

"You're right, I know that." She smiled for just a moment. "I guess I—I'd like to be a part of _something_."

"You're a part of the Cullens," he said without thinking. It was true, but in so many ways he wished it wasn't. It would hurt everyone when she inevitably pulled away. "You're not one of our kind, but you are very important to us all."

Bella stared at him for a few seconds, then broke out in tears. "Why?" she said helplessly.

_Because I love you. Because you're my soul mate. Because I want you to be with us for eternity, to complete what has always been missing for me here_.

"In a way—" He broke off when a sob ripped from Bella's little body. There was nothing to do but hold her and he slipped his arms around her back and her legs, pulling her almost on top of him. Oh, she smelled awful. He bent his nose to her throat and took a deep breath, finding her scent underneath all the dogs.

Stroking her back, he started again. "In a way, we're the opposite of the wolves. They are what they are, they are a family because of blood. We are what we are, we're a family, because of choice. They mate for life because of some irrepressible bodily connection, we mate for life simply because we decide to. You are part of this family because we want you to be."

He laughed and wiped her face with his sleeve. "If you'll take us. We'd be very lucky to have you." She looked stricken for a moment and he realized that might have sounded like a proposition. "I don't mean to propose any blood loss or change in body composition."

She relaxed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "_I_ am too lucky to have you and your family. Thank you."

There was a knock at his door and Alice poked her head in. "Leave some for the rest of us, Edward." Bella didn't even stiffen, just laughed with him. "There's going to be a thunder storm Tuesday night. Bella, you need to come."

"Come where?" She sat up straight and blew her nose on a handkerchief his human mother trained him to keep on his person. Edward was grateful to Alice for putting Bella's mind on something else.

"Just out in the woods…" Alice said. "Some pagan rites, dances, ritualistic slaughter."

"We play baseball." Bella smiled stiffly and nodded, valiantly trying to look excited, but it was clearly not her sport. "It's a little different from human baseball. Faster. You'll have a good time."

She yawned. "I think I'll fall down."

"Oh no, you won't be playing, though… yes, you'll most likely fall down." Yawning again, she slapped him lightly. "Come on, I'll drive you home." He kept her in his arms as he stood and ran her down the stairs and outside before she could protest. Dropping her shoes on to the ground, he stood her in them and she worked them on to her feet while he helped her with her jacket. She was asleep by the time they got to her house, but she insisted she could make it to her bed by herself. He listened carefully until she was changed and under the covers.

Somewhere in the trees in front of her house, Jasper was hiding. "You're reading a book?" he said in way of greeting.

Jasper didn't even look at him. "Well, she wasn't here, was she?"

"You could have followed—"

"Of _course_ I followed her," Jasper said and Edward relaxed. "But once she was with you, I didn't really need to be there, did I? Thought I would come back here and watch for Victoria. I would probably smell her before I saw her even if I was staring at Bella's room."

"I'll take over."

"Edward—"

"No, it was a stupid idea to let you have the first night she got back from New York. I wasn't getting anything done at home, anyway. Alice says there's going to be a thunderstorm on Tuesday. Go practice batting with her."

"You know who really needs practice? You. And Bella." Edward took the original printing of the Napoleon journals out of Jasper's hand and gave it a hard throw north.

Jasper took the time to kick him in the shin, then ran after the precious tome before it could hit the ground. Satisfied, Edward climbed his tree and watched Bella sleep for the rest of the night.

Through most of Monday and Tuesday, Edward was sure Jacob would call Bella away from the game, but he was extraordinarily distant with her. The whole pack was distracted with their new member, though to be fair, she wasn't making it easy to pay attention to anything else. Leah Clearwater was being a bitch, that was all there was to it. Edward got a twisted pleasure from anything that made Jacob's life more difficult, but it was difficult to pick his emotions out from the rest. Only Leah's were distinct. She felt a good deal of satisfaction, happy to be with Sam, happy to have a connection to him that Emily would never have, with an undercurrent of pain that it would never be the connection she wanted.

Edward couldn't help but sympathize with her motivation though he would never act on them the same way.

Bella worked at the Olympic Outfitters until seven. Like clockwork, it stopped raining at seven-oh-five and only the thunder and lightening remained. Edward was waiting outside the store for Bella to lead her to the baseball field.

Mike left the store first and grinned when he saw the Volvo. Edward sighed and rolled down his window, forcing a smile for the press. "Hey, man," Mike said and put his fist inside the car. Edward went through the motions of the modern handshake. "What are you doing here?"

"I help Bella with Calculus. We don't usually meet on Tuesdays, but there's a quiz tomorrow."

"Lucky guy," Mike said and raised his eyebrows in a salute to Bella's beauty. Edward made himself chuckle. He would not rip Mike's eyelids off. "The boyfriend doesn't mind?"

Edward shrugged. "Jake's a good guy."

"Yeah… he just seems pretty possessive."

"Wouldn't you be?"

Laughter exploded from Mike's chest. "Yeah, I guess I already am. And you have more claim on her than I do."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, man. You're her best friend. Like I said, lucky guy." Edward's gaze was drawn to the store's doors as Bella left and locked up. Mike turned. "Have a good night, Bella!" he called. "Good seeing you, Edward."

Bella soon took his place at the window. "What did you tell him?"

"We're studying, of course. And did you know I'm your best friend?"

She smiled a little. "Well, yeah. So I'm going to follow you?"

"Yeah." They drove out of town and up to the main road to the field. After a few minutes, it started to rain again and he went agonizingly slow to make sure the truck could safely stay behind the car. He drove up the road a few yards and parked in a small clearing. Bella pulled up next to him.

"This looks more like a mountain pass than a baseball diamond."

He laughed. "This is not the field. Now we run."

She shook her head. "I should have known. The raindrops are going to jab coming down." She went behind him and put her arms around his neck, anyway.

"We won't be in one place long enough to get rained on," he assured her and then they were off. It had to be a bumpier ride on the way up than on the way to the meadow, but she seemed comfortable. She squealed about a minute from the field, when the ground evened out. She was still out of breath when they arrived.

"I thought you'd stopped," she explained her shout, "And I opened my eyes. It was better when it was jumpy. At least I could tell we were moving."

Keeping an arm around her until they got to the clearing seemed to get her back steady on her feet. It was only drizzling by the time they started to play and ground was dry by the forth inning. Edward was at least as excited to display his physical prowess to Bella as he was to play. She looked surprised by everything – how big the field was, how far apart the bases, how fast the ball. Esme was running commentary. Edward focused on not looking at Bella and smiling for fear Esme would bring out the proverbial naked baby pictures.

Edward was up the bat when Alice gasped. Instinctually, he ran to Bella. Was it Victoria? It only took a few seconds for a grin to appear on Alice's face.

"It's Tanya!" Edward relaxed. "She'll be here in a minute."

"Do you remember I told you about the other family like ours?" he said to Bella. Still a little wet, she smelled incredible in the damp air.

"The one in Alaska? One of them seduced Boris Pasternak."

"You paid attention," he said. "Yes, that was Irina. This is Tanya. She's something of the leader of the coven."

Tanya was extraordinarily clean when she came into the clearing. He had always been amazed at how put together she always was. Bella gasped. "She's stunning." He looked at Tanya again. She was beautiful, he supposed. Tall, lithely muscular, wavy blond hair down to her waist and an always-smiling round mouth. It had been no effort to seduce any man who attracted her. "She's staring at you." No she wasn't.

But he realized that she was. She went to Carlisle first, of course, then to Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, but in between each greeting, her gaze returned to Edward. She had always been an wild flirt when his family was in Alaska, but she had only shown real interest once, the last time. He had told her unequivocally that though he loved her – after one hundred years of friendship, how could he not? – it was nothing like what he found in Carlisle's mind for Esme, or even Emmett's mind for Rosalie. She deserved better than that. Was she trying again? Her thoughts were as innocent as they'd ever been: more sexual than any mind he'd come across, but universal, not at all specific to himself.

"Edward," she sang, pulling him into a hug with her hands in his hair. "It's so wonderful to see you all. Who's this?" Before he could speak, she continued, softly, "_Tvoj milacik_." The Slovak words meant, "your beloved."

"_Nie_," he said quickly. "This is our friend, Bella."

With a small, pitying smile, she turned to the larger group. "Who's team shall I join?"

Rosalie ran to Tanya and took her arm. They skipped off like angels in the moonlight. Turning to Bella's deeper, warmer beauty was a balm to his every sense. She cleared her throat. "Did you—date her?"

He tried not to laugh. He had never known one of his own kind to _date_. "No, Bella. There's never been romantic feeling between us."

"Oh, yes." She wouldn't look at him. "It seems perfectly platonic between you. Practically aloof. You're up to bat." She gestured toward the diamond and walked away from him to Esme.

Confused, Edward continued with the game. Every time he looked at Bella, she looked somewhere else.

Bella was disgusted. Every time a ball flew between Edward and Tanya, it felt like foreplay. Why waste time with the game? Why not excuse him from the game and let them chase each other around his bed—his couch. Whatever. "What's wrong, dear?" Esme said near the end of the game.

"Nothing, I—Edward and Tanya are quite close, aren't they?"

Esme laughed. "Not really. She's always been interested, but Edward rejected her in a very gentlemanly way. SAFE! Alice is safe! Too slow, Emmett."

Bella felt relief prickle through her entire body and to protest it, she said, "Oh, I don't care. He can love—he can do—he rejected her? Why?"

Gripping her shoulder in a cold, comforting hand, Esme said, "He's never been involved with anyone, Bella. He's been waiting for the right person."

Of course he was. Edward deserved someone very special. It would take him a long time to find that girl. Bella couldn't imagine her beauty, her goodness, her vitality, to be worthy of his heart. Esme looked like she wanted to ask after her wellbeing again, but she stuck to worried looks.

At the end of the game, Edward's team won and there was much teasing and laughter. Bella wanted to hug him or at least slap him on the back or something, but she couldn't make her arms move from their protective place across her chest. Tanya seemed to be quite congratulatory enough for everyone. "Did you enjoy the game?" she asked Bella and she forced herself to hold her smile.

"Of course! A major league game—is so boring—now." Any humor was lost in her stilted speaking. Wow, Tanya actually made her too nervous to talk.

Edward chuckled. "Like you enjoyed the MLB so much before." She shrugged and looked away from him. "Do you want to go home?" he asked. It was probably a good idea. Maybe she could sleep away this ruthless jealousy; she nodded at her feet. "Do you—mind if I take you down the road again?"

Forcing herself to look at his beautiful face, Bella saw he was very worried she'd refuse him. She realized she'd been ignoring him since Tanya arrived. This was quite the way to treat him hours after she confirmed he was her best friend. "Of course I don't mind."

She thanked everyone for letting her sit on the game and told Tanya it was good to meet her. Tanya cocked her head to the side and smiled. "I'm sure I'll see a lot of you while I'm here."

Edward led her back into the woods with a hand on the small of her back. She could feel the tickle of cold through the down of her jacket. Climbing on him before he ran with her had never seemed sexual before, to scared of the sharp little branches, but now it felt like every part of her body that touched his was on fire. It was worse when they got to the rocky part. The motion was a lot like thrusting against him. She took a deep breath, but only inhaled his scent, concentrated on the back of his neck. He dropped her carefully when they got back to the cars and quickly walked away from her.

"I'm sorry—"

"No!" she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't like seeing you with Tanya. I behaved badly."

"It wasn't _bad_ behavior," he assured her, walking near to her again. "It was just—_silly_. Tanya's like—an aunt."

"Edward, if everyone's aunt looked like that, incest wouldn't be illegal." She ran her fingers over her scalp and shook her hair around her face. "I have no right to be jealous, anyway—"

"No, you don't. But—you were jealous?" He tucked her hair behind her left ear and rubbed the tips between his fingers. "I think I like that. It's nice not to be the only one."

"You're jealous?"

"Silly Bella," he said so softly she wasn't sure he'd truly spoken. "I'm jealous of everyone who looks at you when I can't. I'm jealous of your clothes. I'm not your best friend. At least tell me that."

"No." She didn't know where she'd found the breath. "You're—"

"Don't say it." Say what? Bella had no idea what she would have called him. The breeze was taking the word into the trees and she was too frightened of it to go after. He gave a stiff chuckle and in a normal voice, "I can't bare it."

Anything else. She said the first thing that came to mind as fast as possible. "Mr. South is making Lauren and Jessica do act one, scene four from _Twelfth Night—_" He took the bate.

"In which Olivia falls in love with Viola?" He smirked and the tension relaxed.

"Exactly. He's making them do it in the auditorium at lunch. It should be hilarious, so look forward to that."

"Tyler was thinking of them making out in Elizabethan clothing all through World History – makes sense now. I think he's going to make everyone go."

They left one another on a light, easy note. As she checked in with Charlie, did her homework, and got ready for bed, she wouldn't let herself think of his words, but as she fell asleep that night, as her oversized sleep shirt twisted around her in the sheets, she thought _he's jealous of this_? But then she thought of what Edward had worn that day, a tight powder blue tee that clung to every arc of his body, she realized she was jealous of his clothing, too.

* * *

End Notes

1) Jaguars are a near threatened species and adorable besides. I don't condone killing them and I don't think the Cullens do either. All I can say is this is a special treat. Or they are not near threatened in a world with vampires.

2) Bella's dress is here: /estore/browse/productdetail.jsp?id11768349


	9. Chapter 8: Adrenaline

Chapter 8: Adrenaline (you can Google it)

This is kind of a half-pint chapter _and_ it's pulled right from the book, so I apologize. I think I gave my own Vesper-take on it. In any case, expect another update by Thursday. :)

* * *

It was snowing and icy the day Tyler nearly drove his van into Bella. With human reflexes, anyone could lose control of their tires on wet ice. Edward had to remind himself of that for weeks afterwards to keep from doing something that would make Tyler legally incapable of driving ever again.

He had been distracted by something and not paying attention to Bella when the tires squealed with ineffective breaking. What could he possibly have been doing? Parking, maybe. Why had he wasted the energy when there was something so important so close by? When he saw the SUV skidding towards Bella at the edge of his vision, her eyes were locked on the windshield of the Volvo, seeking out his face. One last look?

He moved without thought. Thankfully his family backed him up just as quickly. Jasper jumped over the gearshift and cup holders to finish parking the car and close the driver side door before it banged into the next car over. Everyone else ran to easily missed places at the front of the school and Jasper rushed to follow, as if they had all been there for a while.

Edward crouched, moved his body between Bella and the van. He took her by the waist and pulled her down into a squat, then swung her legs out and underneath her truck. He slid to the left as he took the impact of the hit to his back, letting the van end pressed against the unharmed truck bed. He dragged Bella with him by the shoulders. It ended up looking as if the van had missed them both by a few inches and Bella's truck was incredibly resilient. People always thought those iron monsters never got damaged, anyway.

It took a few seconds for the commotion to start. Edward picked her up, back against one arm, legs bent over the other, and stood. An image of them was thrown at him by Jessica – with the top few buttons of his shirt popped off, it spread open to reveal a few inches of chest, his hair was disheveled around his face, Bella's blowing around in the wind, and her chest plunging out of her shirt with each heavy breath. They looked like the cover of a medical Harlequin paperback. Jessica, the nasty little child, was actually jealous it hadn't happened to her.

He scanned the rest of the nearby minds – no one suspected he was anything more than a very quick-moving fellow. Many people had already changed their earlier memories to fit him in next to her.

"Are you all right?" he said, scanning Bella's body for injuries. She wasn't bleeding. He couldn't be holding her if she was. Her head had hit his knee pretty hard though, and, from the way she was holding her ankle, she might have hurt it.

"I'm fine!" she said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm—ow. Are _you_ all right? Did anyone—"

After all that and all she was worried about was keeping his secret? All he wanted to do was cry or kiss her and he couldn't do either. "No one saw anything," he assured her very quietly. "Does your head hurt? Your ankle?"

"Yeah." She nodded and then winced at the jarring movement.

A crowd had gathered around them and he tried to keep them a few feet away. Alice and Jasper were useless, playing screaming teenager along with the real ones.

Ben, Conner, Austin, and Mike went to help Tyler out of his van. It was too many men for the job and Mike was left with nothing to do, so he revived his role as Edward's personal cheerleader. "Everybody!" he said. "Edward saved Bella's life!"

He raised his arms and a cheer exploded across the courtyard. They were soon drowned out by the sound of sirens.

Once the van was moved and a stretcher was brought for Bella, she desperately didn't want to go to the hospital, but she might have had a concussion and, even if her ankle was only sprained, if Carlisle didn't give her a brace for it, she would break it by tripping on something by the end of the day. He refused a stretcher for himself, gaining a vicious glare from underneath an adorable neck brace, but he insisted on riding in the ambulance with her and Tyler.

As they were loading the desperately apologizing boy into the truck, Sally Mallory appeared out of nowhere.

"—yes, savior again, seven_teen_-year-old Edward Cullen saved Isabella Swan from _cer_tain death _this_ afternoon. Here he is, holding her hand in the _am_bulance, always ready to avoid tragedy, then pro_vide_ comfort," she said. He raised his hands and shook them at her – he was very carefully _not_ holding her hand, thank you very much. "Here they are, poster children for young love."

How she would make the image of their glowering faces fit her words, he was almost excited to find out.

* * *

She felt something like a pregnant woman in labor, being rushed into the hospital in a wheelchair flanked with nurses and Edward running along one side. They stopped him from following past some swinging doors, to which Bella thought she heard him growl, but he stayed in the waiting room. Oh god, was she going into _surgery_? She didn't need surgery! She didn't need to be here at all.

"We're not sure what you need yet, baby doll," one of the nurses said, patting her shoulder. "We're just going to scan your head and your leg, see what your body's doing. It'll be fun!"

It was not fun, of course, especially with Tyler and a never-ending flow of apologies in the room with her.

"We're just going to set you up in a bed, doll, get you some fluids. Your friend Taylor will be in there with you!"

That nurse was annoying and a liar to boot because, after they pressed an IV into her arm and checked her temperature, she was alone in the room for at least five minutes. She threw the neck brace across the room and glared at the wall. Edward was the first person to come in. She noticed again that his shirt was ripped in the process of saving her and a generous amount of his pale pectorals were exposed. She thought if she craned her neck, she could probably have seen a nipple. Although she was feeling woozy, she still had enough control over herself to not do it.

"They gave you an IV?" He laughed. "That is entirely unnecessary."

"This hospital visit is completely unnecessary. You are such a traitor."

He just smiled. "Are you thirsty?" After a test swallow, she realized she was. "I'll be right back." And then he was gone again and Bella was alone in the room for another wretched amount of time.

She was ready to pull the tubes from her arm and make a break for it when Tyler was brought through the door. He was still in a hospital gown from the X-rays and she saw his naked butt as two nurses moved him on to the bed next to hers.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Bella," Tyler told her for the fourth or fifth time. He looked terrible, gauze wrapped around half his face and dark circles under his eyes. A nurse assured him she'd be right back and left them alone.

"It could have happened to anyone, Ty—" she tried to comfort him, but he interrupted.

"It wasn't the ice. Well, I mean, it was, of course it was—I lost control, Bella, I promise!" She smiled and nodded calmly. Who would try to hurt her? "But I've lived here my whole life, and half the winter there's ice! My dad taught me to drive when Mom got pregnant the last time so I could take her to the hospital if I had to – I was thirteen – I _know _how to drive on ice—"

"It's not your fault—"

"It's Alice Cullen!" he shouted and then blushed, put his head between his legs and took deep breaths. "I saw her smiling out the window of Edward's car. She drives me crazy." Tyler leaned his head against a knee, whispering. "She just – and she just _dances_ and – she smells like – everything perfect."

Bella thought of Jasper. She would be more frightened for Tyler if he was going up against Emmett, but not by much. If Tyler announced to the school that he was taking Alice to prom, Jasper wouldn't take it as lightly as Jacob had the year before.

"Lauren!" she said the moment she thought of the other girl. "Do you know who would be a great distraction for that? Lauren! Lauren still really likes you, you know." Bella didn't really want to put Lauren on anyone, but she would definitely be distracting. Or at least neurotic.

"You think Alice is out of my league?" Tyler was about to cry, his eyes round and wet.

"No-o-o. It's just Lauren…" Bella quickly considered leagues – baseball leagues. First she thought of Phil and then of the game she'd seen the night before. Yes, Alice was in a different league all together. "Lauren is on your _team_. She's the catcher to your pitcher. Do you know what I mean?"

"Do you mean she'd put out?"

"That, too. Yes." Tyler grinned and straightened his shoulders. Bella pat him on the back and he winced, bruised from the collision. "Probably on the second date if you… pitch well."

"That metaphor's falling to pieces," said Edward, back with a glass of water. Two nurses followed him with a wheelchair and started loading Tyler on to it. "If Tyler pitched well, the batter would get the ball and Lauren would miss it entirely."

"The metaphor's fine," Bella said and took the glass. Their fingers brushed and she felt it like an electric current up her arm. "You're on the other team, that's the problem. You're batting. If you're on outfield – like Tyler – a good pitch passes over the batter and Lauren catches the ball."

"The batter being my sister," Edward said, staring far, far down at Tyler.

"Whoa, man," Tyler said and almost fell out of the wheelchair as he worked the wheels, helped the nurses get him out the door. "I mean, yeah. Ball passes over Alice all right. I would _never_ send Alice the ball."

"Good," Edward said, satisfied, and dropped into the chair next to her bed. Tyler hastily waved goodbye to Bella and the weighted door closed behind him. "Jasper would rip the child's throat out. He doesn't need the provocation."

Bella smiled, despite Edward's sober warning, smiled at Jasper's deep love for Alice, smiled because Edward was next to her.

A husky voice came from the doorway. "Maybe I'd get to little _Jasper_ first."

"Jake—" she started, but didn't know how to finish. Edward's last words confirmed everything Jacob thought about the Cullens and Bella didn't know how to tell him what she felt – that it didn't matter what their instincts were, that it was that Jasper didn't _want_ to hurt anyone that was the crux of the matter.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Jacob hissed. Edward stood, a few inches shorter than Jacob and maybe half his width, and met his gaze calmly.

"Bringing Bella a glass of water. I'll leave now. Don't let her drive herself home."

Jacob's hands were fisted at his sides, his body trembling. Bella said his name again and touched his arm, with little affect. "Don't give me advice—"

"She's fragile," Edward interrupted and he quickly surveyed her body under the blue and white hospital sheets. "And she's precious. Don't forget what you can do."

"Same to you," he growled, almost too low to understand. He was fifteen seconds from phasing, maybe less. She tried to beg Edward to run away now with her eyes.

"I'm leaving," Edward said again and then, much more forcefully, "_Calm down, Jacob Black._"

"Calm down," Bella repeated and cupped his fist in both hands. Finally, Jacob stopped shaking and turned away from Edward, took her hands in his and kissed her palms. Bella smiled at him and when she looked up for Edward, he was gone.

"What happened?" he said. His voice was rough, cracking with worry.

"Why aren't you in school?" she said and he chuckled, lay his head on her lap.

"Sam was in town getting some tools when someone ran in the store saying there was an accident at the school, that you were involved." His breath came out as a shudder and Bella stroked her fingers down his neck. "He ran back and got me out of class to tell me – no one knew what happened, if you were even okay… I didn't even think before I ran here. It took Sam and Quil both shouting at me to change back into human form to stop me from just wolfing it inside." He sat up and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth, then repeated, "What happened?"

She told him the story as succinctly as possible and ended with, "Jake, this is the second time Edward has saved my life. This time I'm sure I would have died."

"What is their _plan_?" Jacob growled, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. "What the fuck are those Cullens going to do? I can feel the massacre, Bella, it's like Chinese water torture, steady drops of blood on the back of my neck."

"Excuse me," Carlisle said, appearing at the door. Bella's breath caught. He had certainly heard Jacob's words, but his gaze was even and kind. "I'm so sorry to interrupt. And I apologize for taking so long, Ms. Swan. Mr. Crowley had some light internal bleeding and I had to get the surgery ready. Your X-Rays look good, no concussion and no broken ankle, just a second or third degree sprain."

Bella looked at Jacob to share a smile of relief, but he kept a steady glare on Carlisle, not even blinking. She looked back at Carlisle and tried to apologize for him without speaking. The doctor's smile didn't even strain. "I just want to give you a brace for your ankle, make sure you don't hurt it any more, and then you're free to go."

He made light conversation while he fit a brace to her left ankle, but Jacob refused to speak to him, not even when Charlie arrived and exploded with thanks to Carlisle and Edward.

Insisting on leaving by her own power, she was finally free of the wheel chair and hobbled to the cruiser. "I'll meet you at your house, okay?" Jacob said.

"No," she said, surprising him. "The Cullens have done _nothing wrong_. In fact, they have been nothing but kind and generous to me. I am offended that you can't get over your prejudice and I don't want to see you tonight. I'll call you after school tomorrow."

Charlie didn't mention her unprecedented behavior until they were just a few minutes away from the house. "Billy and Harry told me a few months back that the Cullens were banned from the reservation. Their only explanation was that the elders had a bad feeling, that the family was a bad seed, like something was intrinsically wrong." He sighed. "Now, they're some of my best friends and I'd trust them with my life, but that is not okay. Dr. Cullen's a good man and Edward has proven himself as a brave and compassionate friend to you. I just avoid the topic – didn't tell Billy when Edward came by on Christmas, for example – but you were right to be straightforward with Jacob." Bella couldn't help but be pleased at her father's approval, but he fell into platitudes. "He'll come around. You two will work it out."

Why was her eventual marriage to Jacob and happy ending always such a given?


	10. Chapter 9: Party

Chapter 9: Party

"Edward," Alice called from the top of the stairs in a terrible British accent. She appeared in the room wearing a sweater vest and a monocle, a small leather-bound book under her arm, speaking around a pipe. "Have you ever read _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_?"

Resting the violin and bow on his leg, Edward sat back to watch her perform. "I think my mother might have read it to me. Why?"

"There is such a thing, of which you may have encountered before, detailed in _Through the Looking Glass_, called an 'unbirthday.'" She sat down on the piano bench and crossed one leg primly over the other. "I appreciate the sentiment behind it, to celebrate not simply the arbitrary date one was thrust from the womb, but to appreciate every day as another that one is alive. However, I admit that I've more decided to throw Bella an unbirthday to give her the gifts we were not allowed to at the birth of Christ. I think of it of His unbirthday as much as Bella's."

"I think that Bella _might_ argue that the trip to New York made up for it." He was glad his family wanted to give Bella all the luxuries of life, though it frustrated him that their motivation was to prepare her for their way of life when she inevitably fell in love with him and became part of the family. That was meant to be a secret dream of Edward's, not theirs to shape into reality.

"I will not be dissuaded by such nonsensical arguments. Besides, she won't have a choice as it is a sur_prise_ party. I only wanted to inform you so you might outfit yourself accordingly by this Sunday."

What would he give her? Ideas went through his mind like flashcards scattering on the floor, but, he realized with a sigh, the best gift would be to give her nothing at all. She was going to be overwhelmed and annoyed by this party and Edward would stand out as the only one who knew, or, more accurately, cared how she would feel.

"Ugh!" Alice kicked him, then said in her normal voice, "That is so boring! And of course she eats it up. What are you doing?"

"Working on—some stuff, you know." He brought the violin back up to his shoulder and squinted at the music on the stand, trying to look busy and important so she would feel obligated to leave the tortured artist to his composition. But then, why would that work on Alice?

"What stuff?" As she turned the stand towards her, he made a grab for the sheets, but she was just a second faster. "Oh! Edward! It's—you're expanding the lullaby for full orchestra! That's so sweet! And it's the healthiest thing you've done in a while."

"How do you mean?" Edward couldn't see how putting his pathetic feelings to music was anything but obsessive and stupid.

"Don't you see?—before, it was a simple piece, as easily hummed as played on the piano and sure to be hidden from Bella for years to come. Now it's a con_cer_to – you need a orchestra to play it with you, which means you share it with a hundred people, which means you share your love with the world. It's a declaration!"

"No!" He stood up, Alice caught the violin before it hit the ground and he took the music from her hands. He had it, ready to tear it in half, but he couldn't make his hands move, so he dropped it and ran outside. It was not a declaration. He did not want Bella to know anything more about his feelings than already did. Apparently his being jealous of her jeans hadn't scared her into a restraining order – what demon from hell possessed him to say that? – a symphony would do the trick.

Yet he couldn't help but write it. The violin and cello parts had been whispering at the edges of his mind for weeks, but after leaving Bella's bedside for fear of the hospital's safety from Jacob Black, after listening to Jacob's livid thoughts as Carlisle helped Bella, after his incredibly satisfying shock when Bella stood up for the vampires, Edward couldn't help but write the notes down and hear them on the violin. His skill on the cello would not do justice to his vision, but that was coming out of the back of the library next.

Alice was still looking at the rumpled sheets of music when he came back inside. "Sorry," he said, stroking the violin as he picked it up off the chair and sat down again.

"He forgives you. I will forgive you when this is played for Bella. I don't think I can get a philharmonic in time for the party…"

"It's not done yet, anyway. I only have the string parts written and there's always—tweaking. The basses are for shit."

She rolled her eyes, disappeared for a few seconds and reappeared with a double bass, bow, stool, and pinstop. The bass was almost a half a foot taller than Alice and, combined with the sweater vest and monocle, she looked like a little girl playing dress up in her father's study. Despite the ridiculous appearance, she worked magic with the oft-neglected instrument. He spread the music on the stand and turned it to her.

At the end of her rendition of the bass part, Edward was amazed it could sound so strong and Alice said, "Okay, so it's not very good. I'll get the orchestra for her graduation party. Have it done by then." She turned the stand back to him and pressed it flat, nudging a pencil towards him with the bow. "Fix something, tell me what to do."

The bass section was finished by dusk, a steady, calm background for the rest of the instruments. He would never give this to an orchestra, but maybe it would do something good to have it finished. Then again, he thought when he was satisfied with the little lullaby for one piano it was finished. He thought when he gave in and arranged it for four hands it was finished. He thought when he wrote a little vocal accompaniment it was finished. Maybe this love song for Bella would never be finished.

What a horrible metaphor.

Getting Bella to come over unsuspectingly on Sunday was incredibly easy, even with Alice grinning like the Cheshire cat itself. When Bella mentioned exactly this, Alice's eyes widened and she thought, _she knows and she guessed the theme!_ but she rationalized herself out of that quickly enough. Alice had put signposts from the book along the road to the house, but in the darkness, Bella didn't notice and was unsuspecting even as he led her through the house to the back woods. Alice had transplanted white rose bushes and ruined each flower by dumping red paint on them. This was the first thing Bella noticed, gasping and sidestepping into his chest. "Is—is that blood?"

"No! It's red paint." Dripping blood was much browner than that, but he didn't see any reason to tell her that.

Bella laughed a little to loudly. "Right. Paint. Like in _Alice in Wonderland_. Why?" As he pushed her farther into the woods, he shrugged, but allowed a smirk to form to hint that something was happening. Her expressions changed as her mind worked and she turned a grin on him when she figured it out. "It's a party, isn't it?"

Perfect timing, he pushed aside some branches and nudged her into the clearing where Alice had put a long table and set tea and cakes à la Mad Hatter and a croquet circuit on a flat part of the grass near the water. "Are those flamingos?"

"Yes," he said. "Kidnapped from the Woodland Park Zoo."

Alice, Jasper, Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Emmet jumped out from behind a bush and shouted, "Happy unbirthday!"

First turning to smile at Edward, as if it was his party, then giving a broader look around for someone else to have a party for, she finally got it. "It's a party for me?" She groaned, staring at the stack of presents at the end of the table. "Why? Paying for me to travel all over the country isn't enough? You were worried I thought you all were lackluster gift-givers? I'm leaving!"

Edward snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her to the table. "No, you're not." She harrumphed and slouched in Esme's new eighteenth century Fauteuil chair.

"I _can't_ believe you didn't tell me," she hissed. "_And_ I'm the only one not dressed up."

"No," he said slowly. "I'm not. And Emmett's costume is an oversized top hat."

He had to admit Alice and Rosalie, as the title character and the Queen of Hearts were dressed extravagantly enough for all of them.

Alice wanted to play croquet before it got dark, but he thought Bella would be more annoyed by the idea of presents than the presents themselves, so he insisted she opened them first. Carlisle and Esme had snuck a photo of Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and himself sitting on one couch at the Christmas party, everyone smiling, Bella laughing and so beautiful it hurt. Edward looked like he thought so in the picture, like his face might melt off from happiness, but she didn't notice it in real life, so why would she notice it on pause? They'd put it in a simple Tiffany silver frame and packed it outside the blue box so she wouldn't be embarrassed.

Alice and Jasper had been thinking about their gift to Bella for days, but when the box they handed Bella was too wide and thin for earrings, he realized it had all be a rouse. Bella hadn't even taken off the wrapping before he realized what their gift actually was.

"Sheet music?" she said, opening the dark blue folder. "Oh, I can't play—" She ran her fingers over the embossed gold lettering – _Bella's Lullaby_ – on top of the elegantly printed music. As if he wouldn't have come up with a better title. As if she was ever supposed to see this! Traitorous, horrible Alice. "You wrote me a song?" she said softly, looking at him.

"Yes, um—but this is really from Alice and Jasper." He dropped down to his haunches beside her chair, bringing them face-to-face. "I didn't get you anything. Because—I knew you wouldn't want anything."

"Will you play it for me anyway?"

How could he say no now? How could he be angry now that she was looking at him like that? He shrugged, helplessly. "Of course."

Emmett cleared his throat. Edward looked up at him, then his gaze was stolen by Jasper, absolutely glowering at Emmett for breaking the mood. "Mine and Rose's present isn't here. It's too big and expensive to bring out here, you cheapskates, so—"

Everyone laughed easily and they played croquet. He was worried that, now that the atmosphere was casual, Tanya's absence would be conspicuous, but Bella didn't seem to notice. Tanya had insisted she would love to give Bella a gift, but her thoughts, though courteous, had an odd force behind them. Alice insisted it would be better to keep it to the immediate family.

Bella was surprisingly good at croquet, a sport in which she barely had to move her legs. Edward made the mistake of saying she could have her arms in a better position, leaving Alice plenty of room to tell him to show her. Bella innocently encouraged him and he wrapped his arms with hers, keeping his hips as far back as possible as his body had an instant reaction to her soft hands underneath his, her little body fitting like a gem inside stone.

He perfected the position of her arms and the mallet and the ball went flying over the wicket and into the woods. She laughed and pulled away from him, her body trembling a little. "I guess I hit too hard?" Was she scared of him? With a blush, her gaze ran up his arms. No, he decided. It was just her own reaction to their closeness.

He called an end to the game. They collected all the croquet supplies in a basket and Jasper and Edward took either end of the table and carried it back through the woods. Edward almost dropped his half when they walked past the garage and saw a cherry Ferrari 375, the color of cream soda sitting outside.

Bella saw it a few seconds later. "What?"

"Happy unbirthday," Emmett whispered as he past her and clapped Edward on the shoulder. "Bella, this is your gift, from Rose and me. A car for Edward."

"It's—" She walked forward and looked him. Mouth open, eyes wide, he looked shocked. "It's—" He shrugged. Shocked speechless, apparently. What an incredible gift.

"Emmett—you bought it. _I_ didn't—"

"It's the thought that counts, right?" he said. "It's your thought. Edward, Bella confided in me that what she really wanted to get you for Christmas was this car you loved and lost, the color of your eyes—is the color right?" Running the back of her hand over the hood, she nodded. It was perfect. Creamy yellow-golden with a sparkle of orange underneath. "I pulled it together for her. I figured the best gift I could give her was the gift she wanted to give you."

"You wanted me to have this?" He stared at her. She smiled and nodded. His gaze became unfathomable – surprised, excited, happy, but pained. He turned back to Emmett. "How did you hide this from me?"

"Dude, I have no idea. I was working not to think about it, but I was sure you'd catch me, anyway."

Edward set the table down and walked slowly up to the car, opened the door, stared inside and then carefully put himself in the driver's seat, twisted until he was satisfied, put his hands on the steering wheal one finger at a time. "I love this car," he said.

"You'll love it even more," Rosalie said, shutting the door for him. "I amped up the engine a little bit."

Grinning, Edward got back out of the car and opened the hood, eyes gleaming at the mess inside. Emmett was right, though. She couldn't imagine a better gift, a better way to ever spend her time, than watching Edward this satisfied.

"Bella—" he said. "Thank you."

She blushed and looked down at her feet. "Don't thank me, thank—"

"No, Bella. You can thank Emmett and Rosalie if you want, though I guarantee they had a wonderful time putting this together. _I'm_ thanking you." He closed the hood again and stepped a few feet back to survey the whole car. "I had no idea I wanted this back so much. Or that my eyes were so hot!"

Blushing up her ears and down her chest now, Bella just barely stopped herself from saying something horrible like, "You have no idea," or, "Everything about you is so hot," or, "Let me strip you naked in the back of this car." Instead, she mumbled, "You're welcome."

"Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?"

His grin was infectious and Bella began to giggle. "Yeah!" He took a few steps towards her and she took a few towards him and then they hugged very carefully. Too focused on not enjoying the hug, she couldn't gauge when to end it and there was a very awkward few attempts at pulling apart, culminating her jumping away from him and almost tripping over the ankle brace. She looked around to smile away the awkwardness, but the backyard was deserted. "Where'd they go?"

"They're putting the party stuff back in the house. I'm sorry about the presents."

"No, Edward… I'm not usually so weird about getting gifts, honestly. It's just that—I guess you all are so amazing, just beautiful, intelligent, cultured, that getting more than your company feels like overkill. And, I mean, I was expecting a car stereo or something, and I guess they did give me a car, but it's for you and _you_ deserve the car. But the photo and the song… oh, the song! Will you play it for me now?"

"Of course." He gestured towards the house and let her lead the way. He always kept himself a few steps behind her, she noticed, and always walked on the outside of the street. Protective chivalry from another century. "You're so silly," he said after a few moments. "We get your company, too, you know. That makes us even."

Laughing ruefully, she didn't press the issue. He was too kind. He would never appreciate the difference in quality. It was like trading pomegranates for apples.

Inside, Edward opened the piano lid, moved the seat so the right side was parallel the middle of the keyboard, sat down, and took her hand to pull her next to him. She put the framed photo on the floor next to her and moved to hand him the music, but he waved it off and she set it aside as well.

He held his fingers above the keys for a few seconds, then they dropped into the sweetest, most delicate piece of music she'd ever heard. It grew steadily more powerful until the middle, warmer, then came back to its light beginnings at the end.

"You wrote that for me?"

"I—" His face was brooding. "I wrote it because of you. It's for you now. That was unavoidable, I suppose."

Oh but she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to thank him, she wanted to comfort him, and she wanted to do it with a kiss.

"Lovely, Edward," a melodious voice came from the door. Bella turned in time with Edward to see Tanya standing at the bottom of the stairway. Smile. She had to smile. She'd forgotten Tanya was here. "And, Bella, didn't you look lovely listening to it?"

Blushing hot, Bella forced herself to keep smiling, but couldn't help but look away. How was she supposed to take such mocking? Edward took one of her hands in his, cooling her all the way up one side. "If the song makes her more beautiful, I've created a miraculous success."

Incapable of looking at Edward without bursting into flame, Bella looked back up at Tanya. She didn't look angry, her expression didn't change at all, but the wooden handrail splintered underneath her hand. She let go of it and brought her hands together at the front of her body.

"I'm sorry I don't come to your party, Bella, but I have a gift for you, anyway." She glided to a table underneath the stairs and then reappeared. "It came in the mail today and from what I understand, Edward's been waiting for it."

She handed her an envelope, the sender Happy Value TV and Appliance, a small chain around the Olympic Peninsula, the recipient Edward Cullen. Bella held it out to Edward, but he shook his head. "It's really for you."

Careful not to hurt herself opening the flap, she pulled out a small pile of papers. "Dear Mister Cullen," she read allowed. "Congratulations! Thank you for your sponsorship of Isabella Swan in our annual Local Senior Scholarship. Your hard work has paid off. Isabella has been selected to receive an annual twenty thousand dollar—" She lost the ability to speak. Twenty thousand dollars? "Twenty-thousand dollars! Edward! What did you do?"

"A lot of corporations offer scholarships to local graduating students for the community good will and the tax write off. I noticed that Happy Value actually required that someone else back the senior to be put in the running, so I did." He shrugged. "Charlie knows about it. He helped me get signatures. That's a forth of your tuition to Dartmouth."

"Well—yeah! I can't believe you did this!" He gave her his half-smile and – oh, beauty – a dimple appeared on his right cheek. He was too stunning, looking up at her from under his eyelashes and Bella had to look away. Unfortunately, Tanya was the only other option. Should she thank her for giving her the envelope?

"Congratulations, Bella," Tanya said, politely. "That's a lot of money."

Imagining her living in a vast crystal palace surrounded by snow – a lot like the White Witch in Narnia, if she was honest – twenty thousand dollars probably didn't seem like much money at all. She blushed again. There had to be somewhere else she could look – aha, a clock. It was almost ten p.m.

"It's a school night." She had never felt like more of a child. She stood up and went to where she'd dropped her purse and jacket on a chair. "I should probably—"

"I'll pick you up for school tomorrow?" He stood and walked forward, blocking Tanya from view.

"I'm excited," she said. Picking up the frame and sheet music from where she'd left them by the piano bench, he slipped it in her bag for her. "Bye."

"I'm sorry about Tanya," he said, not even cloaking his voice. She supposed Tanya still would have heard him if he'd whispered. "Thanks for coming tonight and thank you so much for the car. Be careful, it's going to get really cold tonight."

Bella had write scene summaries for _The Tempest_ still that night, but she went through her wardrobe looking for something to wear the next day instead. Her red blouse was probably too fancy for school, but it looked really nice on her, added some color to her skin. After five minutes of searching the limited places she might have thrown it – and really, it _should _have been in the bottom of her hamper, where she'd seen it the past three weeks since Christmas. Her next best option was her dark blue shirt, but that wasn't anywhere either. The pile of socks usually at the foot of her bed from being kicked off in her sleep was also missing. Had Charlie done laundry?

Wanting to tell him about the scholarship anyway, she was tempted to wake him, but a preliminary check of the laundry room said that the washer hadn't been touched for days. Where could her clothes be? She looked in the bathroom, under the living room furniture, in the hall closet, in all the cupboards in the kitchen. Unless Charlie was hoarding them in his bedroom, they were not in the house. It wasn't like she was in the habit of taking off her shirt outside of her house. In general, she would say that the blue shirt at least could be at Jacob's, but she had been fully clothed around him since the accident and she'd worn it the next day, hadn't she?

With nothing else productive to do, she sat down on her bed to work on the scene summaries. She had just started the second act when her alarm went off. Unreasonably annoyed at her disappearing wardrobe, Bella put on her fat jeans and a Scottsdale Cultural Council sweatshirt and ate Oreos and coffee while she waited for Edward to arrive. The moment she saw the stunning Ferrari purr around the corner, Bella wished she'd put a little more effort in. Stuffing her hairbrush in her backpack on the way down the stairs, she said goodbye to Charlie and got in the car.

"You look—unhappy," Edward said. The last time she'd worn this outfit was on the day before period and she wondered if that was a euphemism for PMS.

"Someone snuck into my room and stole my clothes," she said, slouching and running the brush harshly through her hair.

"What?" Edward said, his expression dire.

"No, not really. I just lost some shirts last night. And a pile of socks. Where could I have put that stuff?"

He stared at her for a few seconds. "Do you mind if I—" Then he seemed to change his opinion on asking permission and disappeared from the car. Great. Now she looked like she was bloated, pissy, and _alone_ in a Ferrari. Edward was back in the driver's seat within thirty seconds. He tossed a fern branch in the back seat.

"Where'd you go?" she said, eyeing the foliage.

"What? Nowhere. Nothing. Everything's fine." Great! Now he was lying. She flung her hairbrush back in her bag and wrenched the zipper closed. "I'm sorry your clothes are missing. You still look beautiful."

He pulled her hair back from her face and revved the engine. He looked like he was about to start a rocket ship and Bella couldn't help but feel better.

That lasted only a few blocks. By the time they were on the main road to school, she was worried he really did think it was a rocket ship. He was driving at one-hundred-and-fifteen miles per hour. Terrifyingly, the car could go up to two-hundred-and-fifty.

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing." He looked himself up and down to check for problems.

"Why are you driving like a mad man?"

"This is how I drive, Bella."

"How could I not know you drive like this?" They were going to hit a tree. He was going to miss a speed bump and they were going to go flying to their deaths. She held on to the door handle and dug her other hand in between the freshly upholstered seats.

"Bella," he cooed. He wasn't even looking at the road! "Bella, this is how we are meant to drive. Your truck—hobbles. It's crying out for death. This car is—"

"On speed. This is a tweaked-out little death machine. I can't believe I wanted you to have this. A vampire is out to kill me." Edward's smile disappeared and he turned back to the road.

He slowed down for the sake of conventional safety, then sped up again, faster than before. They could just leave Forks altogether, stay in a cabin in the woods, just hunt, have sex, and learn about one another, hide from Victoria forever. Bella was watching him, biting her ring finger. She was probably worried that he had lost his mind.

Maybe this worry _was_ making him lose his mind. A vampire he didn't recognize had been in Bella's room last night. He or she had taken her clothes, samples of her scent, perhaps even samples of her blood. Why? Alice couldn't find anything concrete in his or Bella's futures. Victoria had resorted to chanting Latin prayers in a dark room to keep him from her thoughts. He had no idea what was going to happen to Bella or how to stop it.

There was a crowd around the car the second he parked it. "Hey, hero," Mike said, as he had taken to calling him. In fact, everyone had taken to calling him that and, amazingly, the only people who did it mockingly were his own family. "Did Mayor Maguire give you this with the key to the city?" The other boys laughed through their drool.

"No, we have a cousin in town. She's a car fanatic."

"Oh, yeah, I think I saw her at the Costco, walking around with your mom," Austin said. "Goddess-woman with strawberry blond hair?"

Bella slammed her door shut and started walking towards her first class. Edward shrugged at the crowd and ran after her. When he grabbed her hand to look at him, he realized he didn't know what to say. "See you in Calculus?"

She frowned at him, then smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, of course."

His first period class was P.E., shared with Jasper. They were playing tennis doubles and at first he thought he could lose himself in the focused physical activity – not breaking a racket or anyone's body parts – but he had to talk to someone. Edward swiftly threw their first three games so they were out of the running. For the rest of the class, they sat on the bleachers and he brought him up-to-date.

First he ran to the Ferrari for the fern branch that heavily carried the scent. Jasper smelled it while Edward explained what happened. In the end, he shook his head. "I don't recognize it. It is not Victoria, I'm certain of that. Keep it to show to Carlisle."

A crowd of girls formed a few feet from them and they had to resort to talking in _Vesper_ metaphor.

"The vampire has to tell the girl what's going on," Jasper said.

"No."

"Yes, Edward. The puppies need to know or what limited protection they offer her is useless. She needs to know so she can watch her back. I know the vampire's worried that's just going to make her more vulnerable, but if the vampire's militarily-brilliant brother is going to come up with a plan to fix this, the girl needs to be in on it. Why shouldn't he tell her now? And I'm sure she'd be relieved to know why her clothes are missing." Edward leaned his head on his hands and scratched at his scalp. "And, you know, we learned in this chapter that the vampire's brother and sister aren't above taking matters into their own hands. If the vampire wants to be the one to tell her, he'd better do it soon."

"Jasper—" His warning tone was droned out by Coach Clapp's whistle and shout to get changed. The truth was, it didn't matter how much he warned. If he really wanted to, Jasper would tell Bella what was going on and Edward couldn't stop him.

He took the next two periods before Calculus to follow Victoria's thoughts. He hadn't given so much uninterrupted time to the task in weeks. There was nothing useful until—a street sign. He recognized it easily. E Cherry Street, it said, white on green, a few blocks east from Seattle University. Victoria was in Seattle.

He told his family his new information as they stood in the lunch line. Jasper and Alice became somehow paler than usual. "I've been trying to ignore it," Jasper said. "But it's clear to me that someone is building a newborn army in Seattle. There are at least ten there right now."

"It might not be Victoria," he said slowly. Jasper's expression didn't change, but Alice rolled her eyes at him.

Every limb went numb. He couldn't move, he couldn't think anything, but, _Bella Bella Bella Bella._ Victoria didn't want to kill her, she wanted to destroy her.

A few minutes before the bell, he pulled her into a corner and said, "Would you mind skipping the rest of the day?"

"No," Bella said, instantly. "I don't have my homework done for next period, anyway. What do you want to do?"

They walked to the Ferrari quickly, watching out for teachers on lunch patrol. "I need to talk to you," he said. "Why don't we go to the meadow?" He took a back entrance off campus and headed north out of town.

At the trailhead, he was grateful for the short run with her body wrapped around his. He was always on the lookout for reasons to run with her, for the mostly innocent physicality, but this time it reminded him of every reason he wanted to save her; her heartbeat on his back, her vulnerability, her trust in him, her irreverence when he threatened to kill her, the way she was never scared of him, the way she tripped when he put her back on her feet, the way her eyes lit up at the sight of their spot.

He laid out his jacket on the grass and they sat down. He told her to prepare herself. "I first saw you April twenty-second, 2005," he began. He told her of Alice's vision, listening to James's plan to kill her, his inexplicable need to protect her even while he was ravenous to kill her. He nearly left out spending the night in her bed, but it made up so much of his time with her, he couldn't. "You were having a nightmare and I had to try to help … like that night in Florida." He described their plan of attack, surprising James and his coven, and taking her back to her friend's campsite.

"You—you were the cold. You were the angel." He shrugged. She stared at him with wide eyes, then got angry. "Why have you waited so long to tell me this?"

"I didn't want you to know. It was bad enough that _I_ was part of your life, I didn't want to hurt you further by telling you were stalked by vampires while you were camping with your friends. You don't need to know about the horrors of the world."

"Edward—" She picked up his hand with both of hers. "You can't protect me from everything." He could try. "Why tell me now?"

"I didn't save you well enough. The third vampire in the coven, Victoria, the one who got away from Jasper?" She nodded. "James was her mate and she wants vengeance for his death."

"She wants to kill you?" Gripping his hand and pulling him towards her, as if she could protect him if he only got close enough, Bella looked terrified.

"No. She wants to finish what we stopped him from doing. She wants to kill you. I'm sure she knows that will hurt me far more than ending my existence."

Holding his gaze for only a few seconds before she went to staring at her hands, she seemed incapable of looking at him. _This_ was why he didn't want to tell her. He'd made her uncomfortable by his confession. She shouldn't know how much he loved her.

"When you said you couldn't find your clothes today, I ran to your room. There was the scent of another vampire, one I don't recognize. It took your clothes. I can't be sure of this, but I believe Victoria is building an army of vampires in Seattle. That's what's been raising the crime so drastically. I believe the vampire took your clothes to give this army your scent."

"A whole army. Wow. What is she planning to do with the army?"

"I don't know." Her gaze was kind, if worried, but he couldn't help but feel he'd wholly let her down. "I've been searching for her, but it hasn't done much good."

"Your 'business' in the South, what brought you near to Florida – was that Victoria?"

"Yes. I did my best to track her movements, but I'm terrible at it. I couldn't get a handle on her whereabouts at all. But, Bella, I promise you I will do everything in my power to protect you from this."

Bella didn't say anything. It had to be a shock to learn you had been the prey of vampires twice in one year. He was quiet for a few minutes to let her process everything.

"I can't believe you saved me. You didn't know me—why did you save me?"

_Because you're the other half of me_. "I didn't stop to question it. I never have." Her eyes were big and glossy with the threat of tears. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, still at a loss for words. "Has anyone told you about how Rosalie found Emmett? He was attacked by a bear and she found him while she was hunting. He was so close to death, but she killed the bear and carried him to Carlisle, anyway. Over one hundred miles, which is still almost two hours at our speed, the scent of human blood all around her, but she made it. What motivated her? She saw something in his face."

"And they've been together ever since," Bella finished for him. "But you and I—" Edward stiffened. He didn't want to say it and see her pity. Smiling and shaking her head, she saved him with, "You're such a good person. That's why you can hear other people's thoughts: because you won't hurt them with the knowledge." She grossly overestimated him, but Edward laughed and shook out his shoulders. Better to have her believe that. "But I bet you thought I was cute, too."

Cute. Not even Mike Newton thought she was just "cute."

Bella lay down on his jacket, taking a deep breath of his scent, warmed by her own body heat. After a few moments, Edward lay next to her, petting the tips of her hair splayed out in the grass. "I want to tell Jacob."

"Absolutely not," he said, but took a deep breath and continued, "Fine. Jasper pointed out that the wolves will only be able to protect you if they know what's after you and he's right. If you insist on putting yourself in danger by spending time with him, there's no need to double your losses."

"Jake's not a threat to me," she said, soothingly.

"Of course he is. He's a threat to everyone he comes in contact with. So am I. I just can't—help myself with you. And you can't help but be with Jacob, which—just—tell him. That's fine."

The little tug of his fingers on her hair felt inexplicably good. She wished she could touch his hair, shining in the muted afternoon light, but—his was so close to his face. If she got so close to his mouth, she'd have to touch it. If she touched it with her fingers, she'd have to— She cleared her throat. "If Victoria is building an army… how big an army are we talking about?"

"Jasper thinks it's about ten right now, but she's not done or Alice would have a clear vision of her plan."

"Ten—couldn't Jacob and the pack help? That would double your numbers."

"We don't need him. Tanya has agreed to bring her coven when the time comes."

The instant rush of jealousy almost made her dizzy. This was ridiculous. The woman offered to _save her life_ and Bella would still prefer it if she left and never saw Edward again. "That's—very generous."

"Carlisle has helped them in the past, now they're helping us. They're old friends."

As her jealousy faded, she remembered her original position. "Jacob will want to help." Edward snorted, clearly unaffected by Jacob's opinions. "If you're so nervous he'll hurt me, you have to admit he and the pack are built for fighting. There's no reason not to totally overwhelm her, is there?" Edward shrugged. "Come on," she honeyed. "They won't think you're dangerous anymore if they see you're willing to stop other vampires who _are_."

"They shouldn't think we're dangerous because we agreed to a _treaty_, Bella. I don't need to subject my family to the dogs just to prove a point we've already made." She turned away from him. The pack was hostile, but they weren't _that _bad. He ran his hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I know you love Jacob, but werewolves are our natural enemies. It's evolution. Of course I would work with them to help you if there was no other choice, but there is. They aren't needed."

"Please, Edward. They might not be needed to protect me from Victoria, but it _will_ help me if you work together. Emotionally, it will help. I'm not asking you to be friends with him," she assured him. She didn't want them to be friends. She could just barely deal with her feelings for both people when they were separate. It would be impossible if they were together. "I just want you to create a strategy for stopping my murder and put it to action. They're going to come up with their own counterattack if you don't work together and contrasting plans can only hurt our side."

He stared at her silently for a few minutes, then a little smile lit up his face. "That's firm logic. Okay. Tell Jacob what's going on and ask Sam Uley to call me with a time to meet." As he rubbed her head again, she couldn't help but respond, pushing into him like a cat.


	11. Chapter 10: Alliance

Chapter 10: Alliance

If she'd thought it was difficult to convince Edward to explain everything to Jacob (and she had), it was nothing compared to actually explaining everything to Jacob.

"He wanted to save you for himself!" Jacob said and threw a plate at the wall. He and Billy didn't have a big set of matching plates and Bella wished he would stop breaking them. It was keeping him from phasing, however, or at least holding it off. He'd phased three times already, now stalking around the room, wearing a sheet like a Roman senator. If she could only touch him, she thought he would stop, but if she was wrong, being so close to him would get herself hurt. "That has to be why he saved you from the other leach. He's probably one of those sick fucks who like to do it while they're having sex with you, want you really vulnerable and trusting, and then they suck it all up."

"No, Jacob—"

"And who the fuck are they turning against their own kind? What kind of loyalty is that? It's _our_ job to stop them, we don't _need _their help. We have—" An order from Sam stopped him from speaking and he growled. "We have a fucking _big_ pack, Bella, okay? We don't _need_—"

There was a knock at the door. Without waiting for a response, Sam came inside and walked up behind Jacob. Pressing a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, he made Jacob sit down at the dining room table and took the seat next to him. Jacob had finally stopped trembling and Bella hesitantly came from the corner of the room to join them.

"I only have bits and pieces from Jacob's mind," Sam said. "But I've gathered the Cullen leaches have discovered there is a vampire army being made to kill you. I find it very convenient that this information is just _available_ to them—"

Bella cleared her throat and started from the beginning. "Edward—the Cullens have some special powers – Edward can hear others' thoughts and Alice can see the future." Veins swelled underneath Sam's skin, in his temples, his neck his arms, but his expression remained impassive and he nodded for her to continue. "When they went house hunting in Forks in April, these powers allowed them to see that there was another coven in town, one that was hurting people and planned to kill me. Without knowing anything about me, Sam, they decided to protect me from these vampires. They destroyed two of them, but one got away and this one is building an army to finish the job."

"_Very_ convenient that she just happened to get away, that this army is just waltzing into Forks." Taking a deep breath, his jaw bulged as he clenched his teeth. "But the treaty demands I give them the benefit of the doubt. It's honorable that they have shared their information, although it is very strange that they used _you_—"

"I thought Jacob would take it better from me." Was she right? Could Jacob have taken it worse than this? If Edward had been here, perhaps there would have been a fight and then—no, this was the best thing to do. She took a slip of paper from her pocket and handed it to Sam. "This is Edward's number." Suddenly she realized it was odd to give him Edward's number, instead of Carlisle's. She tried to cover it up. "Edward has the most information because he's been tracking Victoria's thoughts. He'd like to arrange a place and time to meet."

"Thank you, Bella. If you'll excuse us, we have to talk with our brothers—the pack before I call the leach."

In perfect unison, Jacob and Sam stood and walked to the door. Jacob had striking dignity despite his near-naked state. Just before he walked through outside, Jacob turned and came back to her. Lifting her off the chair, he kissed thoroughly, invading her mouth, pressing his scent on the inside of her body as well as the outside. Her lips felt bruised as he pulled away. "I love you," he said.

She didn't want to award such possessive behavior, but she was nervous not to. Pressed so tightly against him, she could barely breathe, but she forced out, "I love you, too." He dropped her on her onto her feet unceremoniously and strode back out the door with Sam.

Unsure of what to do, Bella stood in the empty room for a few minutes. Should she report back to Edward? Maybe she should finish the overdue _Tempest_ scene summaries. In a few hours, she would have to make dinner for Charlie. The little pile of blue and white porcelain caught her eye and she went to the closest to get a broom and dustpan. She was grateful he hadn't aimed a foot to the left or he certainly would have broken the big front window, as well. That would have been a lot harder to clean up.

Her eyes refocused to see her reflection in the window. What the hell? She looked like a battered housewife, crouching on the floor, cleaning up broken dishes, her mouth red and swollen. This was not okay. She would have confronted Jacob about it then and there if she had any idea where he was. She emptied the pan back on the floor and left the broom leaning against the wall, a message: _clean up your own mess_.

She drove back to her house and took care of her responsibilities quickly. A burst of feminist feeling made her want to demand Charlie do some of the cooking, but she was hungry and wanted to have something edible for dinner. Charlie hadn't done anything wrong, anyway. Charlie was afraid to touch her most of the time and wasn't a overstuffed werewolf bigot.

While she was towel drying her hair that night, she stared at the phone and thought about calling Edward. He would want to know how her conversation with Jacob had gone and it would help her sleep if she could hear his voice. She wondered if it had something to do with him saving her from James, some kind of instantaneous conditioning. Then it struck her anew the incredible thing he'd done for her. She would be dead at least three times over if it wasn't for him. How could she not be in love with him?

The shock of that realization was interrupted by a knock at her window. Edward? No, it was Jacob, hanging on to the shingles like a monkey. She glared at him for a few seconds, then went to open the window.

"I'm sorry," he said right away. "I'm just so scared—"

She turned away from him and walked to the other side of the room as he jumped inside. "Jacob, being scared doesn't give you the right to act like that. I am a logical, intelligent girl and I wouldn't trust Ed—the Cullens if I didn't have good reason."

"I know that." He took her hairbrush out of her hands as she lifted it to her head and started brushing her hair for her. "I do know that, I just—"

"No, you don't. You don't trust my instincts, but you need to. I know they could kill me with a snap of their fingers, but they don't want to and they won't. You could kill me that easily, too, you know—"

"_That_ is _not_ the same thing!"

"Of course it is. Jake, in a way, it's safer around the vampires because they know exactly how they could kill me and are constantly on guard not to." She turned to face him again, keeping her expression open and calm. "You never think about hurting me and don't notice when you're close."

"Bullshit! I—"

"You phased on your front porch tonight, Jake. You almost broke the doorframe in half getting away from me. You—you're about to phase right now. Get out. Go!"

Eyes narrow and furious, he looked ready to argue, but then his trembling caught up with him and he leaped from her window, landing on the street in wolf-form, the force of his heavy body causing an audible crack in the asphalt.

She heard Charlie's snore break off as he woke up, but after a few squeaks from the mattress, he was sleeping loudly again. Jacob jumped back up through her window, knocking over a diminutive stack of folded laundry. He pulled a pair of jeans from an emergency stash in the bottom drawer of her dresser and sat down on her bed, looking as sheepish as someone his size could. Rubbing his back, she sat down next to him. "I'm not mad at you for having an unstable temper. Sam destroyed half of Emily's face and she forgave him. The wolf is part of you and I love _all _of you. But you have to accept you can hurt me. The Cullens are dangerous, but that doesn't make them any worse than you."

"I don't _want _to hurt you."

"Neither do they, even though their instincts—"

"They shouldn't exist at all!" Jacob interrupted, getting to the core of his argument.

Bella knew very well that he would prefer to build a vampire genocide, negate the need to phase ever again, and live a normal life with her. Until she met Edward, Bella didn't see anything wrong with that. Now, she couldn't imagine her life without Edward in it. Carlisle _had _to make him a vampire because if he'd died in 1901, he and Bella never would have met. If they'd never met then… what would be the point?

She was shocked by the thought. That was crazy. Her life had been great before Edward came. She was happy with Jacob, she had some friends at school, she was doing well in her classes—although she never would have made it to the end of her junior year if it wasn't for Edward, either. Although her life wouldn't have been in danger if vampires didn't exist at all. Although maybe she would never have been born if vampires didn't exist – who knew how much the world would have been different? This was so confusing.

"Bella?" Jacob snapped his fingers in front of her face. Her gaze refocused on him.

"But they do exist. And the Cullens are very special. And they're important to me—"

"Important? One of them tells you out of the blue that he did a bad job saving you from some of his brothers and they're important?" That statement was wrong on so many levels. Bella hadn't realized until now how much she'd been lying to him. She couldn't fix it now. It would only screw up trying to stop this army from killing her or Edward or Jacob… oh god! Why had she argued for the pack to be a part of this? Edward and his family also were risking too much just to save her life. She put her guilt away for the moment. There was nothing she could do about it tonight. She would try to take as many people out of harm's way tomorrow and she would tell Jacob the truth about her relationship with Edward when the fighting was over. Hopefully _she_ understood it by then.

She turned and kissed Jacob until his muscles relaxed and he forgot what they were talking about. "I'm really tired," she said as she pulled away. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Come on, Bells—" he whispered, rubbing against her leg. Normally, Bella would have taken five minutes to jerk him off, but tonight the thought of it made her feel nauseas.

"Run it off, big boy," she said. He groaned and limped towards the window. Giving her one last pleading look as she tucked herself under her blankets and tried to look as nonsexual as possible, he jumped on to the street.

As she moved to turn off her light, he appeared in her window frame again, crouching like Tarzan. "Have one of the leaches been here today?"

She shrugged. He looked very near angry and she wanted to give the correct answer, not the honest one. "Why?"

"It's just—rank. I don't know. It's really windy tonight, maybe it's just moving smells around." She nudged her almost-cleavage out of her camisole and smiled at him. He stared for a few seconds, then shook his head at her. "You're killing me. You sure—okay, okay. You should close your window. It must be cold." Taking a one-handed hold of a shingle, he pushed her window closed, then dropped, blowing her a kiss as he went by.

Bella grinned into her pillow and thought about calling him back for that hand job. She couldn't be in love with Edward. She was in love with Jacob. It was still just infatuation, mixed in with gratefulness and friendship. Yeah. Relieved, Bella fell asleep and didn't remember her dreams, just a sweet, enveloping cold that didn't necessarily have to do with Edward. Yeah.

The next morning, Sam Uley called Edward and asked to meet the following Saturday. "Not at your house or something, okay? We're not having coffee. Meet in the woods."

"That's just fine with us, Mr. Uley. I'm sure we'd make very bad coffee."

There was a snort and then silence on the other end of the line. Edward was searching for his thoughts when he spoke again. "Call me Sam."

"Thank you, Sam. I'm Edward. There's a good clearing for action practice about ten miles north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. We'll meet you there at three Saturday morning."

"We'll be there," he confirmed and hung up.

Edward had half expected to be confronted with stalking Bella after Jacob smelled him the night before, but apparently the boy had put his worries to rest. He was grateful that he wouldn't have to resort to more cautious tactics of keeping guard of Bella.

By Thursday, Bella was convinced she was coming. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. Jacob is going to teach me to ride on his back."

"What?" he exploded. He ran through the minds of the upstairs librarians, but when there was no more noise, they we too lazy to find and chastise him. "It would be like riding an unbroken horse bareback. He's going to kill you!"

"Emily's ridden on Sam's—"

"Do you really want to talk about the kind of quality care Sam has given Emily?"

Blushing, Bella admitted, "It really freaks me out, actually. But he's so _into_ it—"

"He wants me to see you on him," Edward said. He didn't need to listen to Jacob's thoughts to know that. "He would urinate on you and kiss you every time I looked at you if he could." It gave him a little thrill that Jacob felt the need to be so possessive, though Jacob's irrational jealousy almost rivaled his own. "If you go – which you're _not_, Bella – I'll take you there. Or—there's no need to start the meeting off on a bad note. Alice can take you there. But you're not going."

"Yes, I am! It's about my safety, I deserve to know what's going on. Besides, I need to know what _I'll_ have to do."

"You won't have to do anything. If all goes well, you'll be sleeping while we take care of this."

"That's ridiculous! I'm not useless—"

"Of course you're not, but you're much more useful to us all _alive_ and you _are_ useless in combat and that's all this is: a battle."

She crossed her arms over her chest and bent her head, pushing her hair around her face. He hated when she did that. It wafted her scent all around him and made his hands ache with the desire to push her hair back again. "I'm still coming."

Giving in, Edward ran his finger down the edge of the veil of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. He bent his head awkwardly, to put their faces at the same level and make her laugh. "Are you going to be absurd about this?" She bit a smile off her mouth. "Convince your puppy you can't ride him and I'll agree to it."

"I don't need your permission."

"I know," he said. "But I think you want it and I'm taking advantage of you."

She couldn't keep the smile off her mouth any longer and it made her face glow. "Jerk."

"Why do you put up with me?"

"You get me an 'A' in Calculus," she said, tapping her pencil on her open textbook.

That night, of course, Jacob convinced her to ride him. Bella, already slipping precariously from side to side on his slick fur, had to jump off him to avoid being hit by a low tree branch – he was shocked that she'd shown such effective instincts – and declared that she would never do it again. Edward paced the boundary line until Jacob was sure she wasn't hurt and stopped trying to make her get on his back again.

Jacob showed a shocking lack of concern for her safety. The only reason Edward was comfortable Bella more or less riding on himself was because she was behind and below him. If he dodged anything that could hit him, nothing would hit her. Jacob's stance gave no such guarantees. Edward doubted Bella would be very safe on a saddled horse going half Jacob's speed. Why didn't the dog understand that?

Annoyed, Jacob said she couldn't come to the meeting, then – how was she supposed to get there? "Ed—one of the Cullens can carry me," she started and said more, but Jacob's mind was suddenly nothing but buzzing fury. The next he was aware of surroundings, he was in wolf mind, looking at Bella sprawled on the ground, holding her head. Edward growled and kicked a tree that straddled the line with a ferocious snap. Jacob phased back into his human form and kneeled at Bella's feet, apologizing, ashamed, but not nearly ashamed enough. If one of his family threatened Bella the way Jacob had just done, Edward would leave this town altogether. Better he suffer without her than she suffer with him. Bella took his hand to stand up, then, thankfully for Edward's sanity, told him she had to go home.

"I'm not going to ride on Jacob," she told him while they were waiting in the lunch line the next afternoon. "But he doesn't want me to ride on you either, so I don't know—"

Rosalie started sniggering behind them. Without dignifying her by a look, he pinched the taut skin at her hip. She shrieked. It wasn't always great having 15 body fat. "I believe this is a sign you shouldn't come. As you will have absolutely nothing to do."

"Except taking an active role in my own life! I'm going if I have to walk the ten miles."

He grinned at her grumbling, though it hurt especially not to kiss her when she was that adorable. "Walking might be more dangerous to you than Victoria. Do you think you could travel with Alice even though Jacob doesn't want you to? You did just tell him you want him to trust your instincts and he'll have to if you prove they're sound."

"Yeah. No, I make my own decisions. Won't I crush you, though, Alice?—hey, I didn't tell you I want Jacob to trust my instincts."

"Sure, you—I was listening to his thoughts during that conversation," he admitted, very quietly. They were getting into _Vesper_ territory.

"Edward! You can't just—"

"There's no stopping him, Bella," Alice said, patting her hand. "Be happy he's only invading the privacy of your loved ones and not your own."

"Believe me, I would be in your mind constantly if I could find a way in."

Blushing, Bella hid her face underneath her hair. "It's just the allure of the unknown. I'm not that interesting."

"Of course you are." He laughed and focused on not breaking the lunch tray to keep himself from pushing her hair back. Mike and Eric were both staring. Bella did look especially glorious today. She had taken out her old Phoenix wardrobe to supplement what had been taken and was wearing a white eyelet shirt, unveiled in the body-heated cafeteria when she took off her jacket. The color made her skin look luminous, each peephole inviting a covetous look at her body underneath. Lauren, who had opted for a turtleneck today, was positively steaming.

After Charlie went to bed on Saturday night, Bella drove out to the house. Edward was surprised that Jacob let her come so early, then she explained he didn't know. He and the pack were busy preparing for their meeting. Jacob and another dog called Paul were convinced that it was an ambush was just as likely as a strategy meeting and Sam wanted to be as organized as possible. It made him want to organize for a fight as well – if Paul wanted to fight, the live wire would make a fight – but it was so much more fun reminding Bella the basics of playing the piano, being blindfolded while she tested him on his knowledge of 50s music.

When it was nearly three, everyone met in front of the house to run to the clearing together. They were all nervous, especially Alice, who had no idea what was going to happen in the immediate future. "They're expecting a fight," he told them quietly, while Bella was still inside, getting dressed for extended time outside. "But there are a few levelheaded members." Surprisingly, one of the newest members of the pack, Seth Clearwater, only a few days through his initial transformation, was the most sensible and open-minded of the group. "If I thought giving into them was possible, I wouldn't let Bella come."

Watching Bella get situated on Alice's back was a little like watching a puppy try to ride a cat. Edward could tell his family would beat the pack to the clearing, so he grabbed Bella by the arm and took off. He put himself on the other side of the group from Bella when the pack neared them, but Jacob still narrowed his eyes at Edward as he nudged Bella to the dog's side of the area.

The meeting went as smooth as silk. Edward told Jasper he didn't have to say one thing about his past, but even as he described his time in the South, the history of newborn armies, and newborn physiology, the dogs stayed relatively calm. Many of them expected all of the Cullens had a similarly violent past. It was adorable watching Bella's reactions to everyone's different fighting styles, especially as she got more and more tired, and the pack seemed to take in a lot on how to fight young vampires.

He should have known the second meeting would fall apart so thoroughly. Another meeting was unnecessary, anyway. They never should have arranged it, but Sam politely requested that a few of the wolves to try play fighting with the vampires for practical experience. Edward saw no foul play and the wolves didn't bleed long enough to be enticing, their blood unappetizing besides. It was planned for the next week, earlier that Saturday night.

To ensure it stayed play, Sam, Seth, and Embry were chosen to fight with Carlisle, Edward, and Alice, although their control made them perhaps the worst examples of newborn technique. They were sparring easily, his family and the pack on guard as they watched, but steady, until Sam swung his arm at Carlisle with incredible force, aiming to throw him against a tree, but missing by several feet. Carlisle's legs hit Bella and threw her backwards, Jacob just milliseconds too slow to get her out of the way. Carlisle was off her and on top of Sam before a rock pierced Bella's skin. It took a few moments for the scent to reach the vampires, but their reaction was instantaneous.

Jasper flew towards Bella. Jacob was much closer, but Edward got between them first, making a cage on top of her with his body. The scent of her blood overtook his mind. For a moment he was lost, completely focused on finding more of that perfect substance, but her eyes, trusting and afraid, brought him back to her. Next he knew, Paul was on Jasper and Jacob was on Edward, misinterpreting his actions as bloodlust or else angry Edward had taken the role of protector. From the corner of his eye, he saw Emmett struggling to help fight, Rosalie and Alice keeping him back.

"Carlisle!" Edward shouted as he fought to keep Jacob away from his throat. "Get Bella away from here!" A growl ripped out of Jacob, but Carlisle picked Bella up and ran with her before the dog could do anything.

For the next few minutes, Sam and Esme worked to pull he and Jacob, Jasper and Paul apart while Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie tried to keep the remaining wolves calm. By the time all the fighting had stopped and the two groups were standing several yards away from one another, watching wearily, no one was hurt, but any trust that had formed between them was totally severed. Sam ordered that they phase back into human form to talk.

"This was a terrible idea," Sam said, softly. "I'm very sorry."

"_You're_ sorry?" Jacob said. "They wanted to hurt—!"

"No one wanted to hurt Bella," Edward said. Jasper, overwhelmed with guilt, wanted to argue, but Alice and Esme rested calming hands on his back to stop him. Regardless of his instinct to eat humans, they all knew he hadn't wanted to hurt her. "I jumped on her to protect her, in case anyone lost control of themselves."

"Oh, no big deal, then? A little lost control, a few dead bodies—"

"Of course it's a big deal!" Edward snapped. "But no one _wanted_ to hurt Bella."

But she almost had been hurt. It was just good luck she hadn't made herself bleed in front of Jasper before. She could have gotten a paper cut opening her unbirthday presents and he would have gone just as crazy. They all would have resorted to their basic natures. No matter how careful he was, he constantly put her in danger. _So does Jacob_, a bitter little part of him said. That didn't mean anything. He was better than Jacob and he was selfish to stay around her.

He would leave. That promise was easier made when Bella was twenty miles away, wrapped in a blanket and having her wound cleaned by Carlisle, but he would do it.

Then who would protect her? Okay, he wouldn't leave. But he would stop interacting with her. He would act as silent protector, like he'd planned to when he first met her. She would live her life safely and he would watch.

"—this evening certainly could have turned out better, but I very much hope we can still be allies," Esme was saying when Edward refocused on the present.

"Three steps forward, two steps back," Sam agreed, shaking her hand. "Keep us updated on the army's movements." Only Seth seemed to agree wholeheartedly, but only Jacob and Paul _dis_agreed wholeheartedly. Jacob was very tempted to ask where Father Bloodsucker had taken Bella, but was too embarrassed to admit they knew more about her than he did. Edward was happy not to volunteer any information.

The pack went a few feet into the woods, phased into wolf-form and left. "I can't see her," Jasper said the moment they were our of hearing ranger. "Is she at the house?"

"Yes," Edward said. "She's not upset with you—"

"You can't know that," Jasper said. "I want—to go to Alaska. The Denali coven needs to be briefed. I'll come back for the fight, of course, I just need—a little time."

Taking a deep breath, Edward nodded. As he was planning to leave, he couldn't begrudge Jasper the same urge. "Do you want to go with him?" he said to Alice.

She took a few moments to answer. Jasper was valiantly trying not to show how much he wanted her to stay close to him. "How much would that bother you? I'd call you the moment I knew Victoria's plans, if you didn't see the vision for yourself, and Jasper and I and the Denali would be by your side, battle-ready in seven hours or less."

It bothered him. It had bothered him when Tanya left – he would have preferred it if everyone they were depending on were waiting, on guard, for the sign to charge. Still, seven hours would almost certainly be plenty of time – as long as Edward was watching her, Bella would be fine during the apocalypse – and Jasper wouldn't recover correctly without Alice, like a wound healing around the still-embedded bullet.

"It's fine. Go. You should both go."

"Thank you," Jasper said. "I'd like to leave now."

He was in position to take off running, but Esme stepped in front of him and hugged him. Rosalie followed suit, then Emmett, and then finally Edward. Jasper looked defeated, his thoughts numb. Edward didn't envy Alice the work ahead of her.

Once they were on their way to the airport, Edward said, "I'm sorry."

"No," Emmett said firmly. "We all love Bella now. It doesn't matter if she should be part of the family, she is."

Edward appreciated the sentiment, but Emmett had to be wrong. He had to be able to untangle her from their lives for the sake of her safety. At the house, she was settled into an armchair watching a rerun of _The Simpsons_ while Carlisle went over a patient's files. She looked so comfortable there that Edward would have rather torn his own foot off than imagine her not laughing in his living room ever again.

"Hi," she said, as they filed into the house. It was so good to see Edward. She longed to have him fit into the chair with her, mud-soaked pants and all, to feel his body close to hers, but she stayed still. Esme closed the door behind her and went to sit with Carlisle on the couch.

"How did it go?" he asked her.

After recapping what happened after Carlisle whisked Bella away, Esme said, "Sam Uley was very understanding. I think everyone else—will come around."

Bella felt guilty thinking about Jacob – she should really go to see him now – but the evening's activities had torn to shreds any progress she'd made convincing him the Cullens weren't a threat to her and she really didn't want to hear him degrading her friends. She would rather just be with her friends.

"Where's Jasper? And Alice?"

"They've gone to Denali to talk the coven through our plans," Edward said, too smoothly. Bella knew why they'd gone. She stared down at the blanket on her lap, twisted the fringe around her fingers. She felt awful that she made life so difficult for them.

"He's very sorry, Bella," Esme said, touching her arm.

"Oh, no!" Bella said. "He couldn't help it. I don't blame him at all. I'm just sorry that I made him leave."

"You didn't make him do anything," Rosalie said, surprisingly kindly. "It's not your fault we all want to eat you."

Bella's stomach rumbled. "I'm actually—hungry."

"Alice stocked the kitchen with food," Edward said. Bella stood up and threw the remote to Emmett when he gestured for it. "If you want to check it out. But you can go home, of course, if you'd like."

"No, I'd like to stay with you for a while, if you don't mind." Just being closer to him made her feel a little calmer.

With a little smile, Edward carefully lay a hand on the small of her back and nudged her towards the kitchen. He pushed the door open for her, then turned to the right. "I'll be right there," he called to her and she walked inside.

Alice had purchased an odd selection of food, probably stuff she thought looked pretty. How could she know what a well-balanced kitchen was? Mangos and avocados in a bowl on the table, in the refrigerator there was an old-fashioned glass jug of milk, two giant salmon wrapped in paper, at least fifteen kinds of cheese, in the panty, a full spice rack, imported French cookies, a jar of organic chocolate powder. Bella took out the milk and chocolate, a small pan from the cupboard, and started making hot cocoa.

"I know the selection's bad," Edward said as he walked into the kitchen. "I should have gone with her, but I'm sure I wouldn't have done much better. Food is all in boxes now. I ordered you some pizzas."

_Some_? she thought. Were more people coming? "Why?"

He frowned. "You said you were hungry."

"Yeah, but—that's a lot of food. What's 'some?'"

"Two. Large. That's too much?"

Bella laughed. He was adorable. "Yeah. I can eat a half a large pizza, maybe, and not if

I'm acting dainty for you."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just a half a pizza?" he teased her. "I consider you so delicate and refined!"

As the milk came to a boil, Bella put in a couple spoonfuls of chocolate powder. Little clumps formed at the top and she tried to break them apart with brisk stirring. "This would be so much easier with a whisk…" she said and a whisk appeared on the counter.

"It's Emmett's doing. He likes the idea of having a well-stocked kitchen. He really enjoyed food when he was human. His mother was a great cook."

"I'm glad I can give this stuff some use." She grinned, mixing up her drink. Edward handed her a bowl-sized mug made out of light, thin porcelain and she poured the cocoa in, then pushed herself on to the counter and warmed her hands around the cup. "Your house is surprisingly human-friendly."

"I want you to be comfortable here. I want—I mean, Alice wanted you to be comfortable here." For a moment, his expression was achingly sad, then composed, blocking her out completely from his thoughts.

"I'm not upset about tonight," she said, hesitantly. "I'm not upset with you—"

"How are you not upset? How are you not terrified?"

Not sure what to stay, she just stared at him. After a few seconds, he dropped her gaze, turned to staring at the gauze wrapped around her leg. "I know, the day after Carlisle takes off the brace, he has to put this on." He wouldn't look at her. "I'm really sorry that I made Jasper and Alice leave. And screwed up all your peace negotiations with the pack."

"You_ didn't_, Bella. _Carlisle_ threw you into a _rock_," he said, glaring fiercely at her leg. "And then Jasper tried to _rip your throat out_."

"That makes it sound so gruesome—" That finally made him look at her again, rush toward her, grab her arms and jostle some hot cocoa out of the cup, on to her shirt. Not that she felt it. With him so near, she felt hot and cold all over anyway.

"It _is_ so gruesome, Bella. This never would have happened with Jacob—"

"News flash, Edward. He was _there_, he—"

Edward roared. "Why are _with_ him—with Mike Newton then. I _put_ you in—oh _god_, I made you pour scalding hot liquid on yourself."

He pressed his hand against the wet spot on her stomach. It was like little sparks of electricity came through his fingertips, turning her insides to liquid. Had he ever touched her stomach before? The moisture made the thin cotton of her shirt feel flimsy, like nothing was separating them at all. She tried to laugh and shifted back on the counter, breaking contact. She lifted her shirt and tried to fan herself with it, wipe off the mess with her bare hand, all very ineffective. Edward growled again, said, "I have to go," and rushed out of the room.

The liquid in the cup was not scalding hot. His nearness had reduced it to lukewarm. She felt ridiculous sitting alone in the kitchen, so rinsed her cup and the pan out in the sink and left them to soak. Rosalie was the first to notice when she came into the room. "Oh, just look at you. I'll get you some clothes." She was a blur up the stairs before Bella could protest and then pushed her to the downstairs bathroom. Predictably, Rosalie's shirt was somehow both too small and too big.

The pizzas had arrived and were sitting on the dining room table when she came out. She ate a whole half of the oily late-night delivery and watched monster trucks, freaking out more and more with each passing second Edward didn't come back.

By two in the morning, she was indisputably tired and announced she was leaving a little more loudly than necessary, as if he didn't know his family's thoughts, as if he couldn't hear her normal voice just as well, if he was in the house at all. Everyone escorted her to the door with more hugs and apologies, but Edward didn't come back. Tears stung her eyes before she was back on the highway and half way home she had to pull over because she couldn't make out the road. Where was he? How could she make him forgive her?

She woke up late on Sunday and spent the rest of the day playing hot potato with the phone, too afraid to call him. When she was going to give up for a while to make dinner, it rang. She picked it up eagerly.

"Were you ever going to call me?" It was Jacob. "I thought you were dead."

"You did not," she said, leaning on the kitchen counter, exhausted now, after hours of nervous energy. "You wouldn't be this annoyed if you thought I was dead."

"Damn right I'm annoyed! Why didn't you come over last night or—are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I have a cut on my leg." A big cut, honestly. It had stung a little last night, but she couldn't feel it now. "Carlisle's a doctor. He patched me right up."

"Being a doctor's probably helpful to clean up his messes."

"Sam tossed him into me, Jake. It's my fault, I never should have insisted I come along. How could I not get hurt watching mythical creatures fight in the woods?"

"You get hurt watching baby mice fight in a cage; that's not the point. You getting a cut shouldn't put you in danger of murder from ravenous vampires!"

They argued for another half hour, until Charlie came into the kitchen hoping to be fed and Bella had an excuse to get off the phone. Jacob ended the conversation telling her he loved her and she said, "I love you, too," automatically. Loving him _was_ an automatic function, like breathing, but when he acted like a werewolf, she couldn't remember why.

The next day, Edward arrived in Calculus exactly five seconds before the bell. She smiled at him as he took his usual seat next to her, but his gaze never left the chalkboard. At the end of class, he asked Jessica if her nail polish was in fact dark blue, not black? They walked a few feet ahead of her to the cafeteria, as Jessica explained the complexities of getting an even coating of a dark color polish and Edward nodded, with that little wrinkle between his eyebrows that meant he was really interested.

Bella would not cry in the middle of school.

She was doing okay with this resolution until she looked away from Edward long enough for Rosalie throw her a shrug and half smile. For Rosalie of all people to be confused and sympathetic about Edward's behavior made her feel like she was lost in an alternate reality. Like Alice in Wonderland, near the end of the Disney version, when everything is getting dark and out of proportion. This made her think of the unbirthday party, of the lullaby – he'd cared about her then, hadn't he? Would he ever play that song for her again?

They didn't speak through all of Biology, either. In the last disordered minutes of class, Bella asked if she'd meet him at the library. "Not tonight," he said, not looking at her.

It was like this next day. And the day after that. Mike asked, "What's up with the hero?" Angela cornered her in the bathroom and asked if something had happened between them. Ridiculously, Bella pretended she hadn't noticed anything wrong.

She tried bringing up the weather, with monosyllabic response. She tried her homework, _Vesper_ theories, the cafeteria food… it became painfully obvious how boring she was. Why had Edward ever spent time with her? Thursday morning, she read the front section of _The Seattle Times_, and brought up a new murder at lunch, trying to seem well-informed. A couple drained of blood, their preschooler missing from their home. Edward sniffed. Icing the cake, Lauren said, "Wow, Bella. Way to be morbid. Thanks."

At the final bell, Bella packed her bag and walked to the door out of Biology without looking at him. When she felt a cold hand catch her arm, she almost collapsed in relief. He was blurry when she turned to look at him, and she wiped her eyes with her sleeves, embarrassed. Way to be casual.

"Hi!" she said.

He only held her gaze for a second, looked behind her, his expression composing. "I need to talk to you," he said.

"Okay. Do you—want to go to the meadow?" It seemed like everything might even out there, like the they could make sense together again.

"No!" His voice was too loud. "Let's just—take a walk."

Expecting him to take her to some other trail in the woods around Forks, she was surprised when he parked at the Forks Transit Center. She followed him in and he led her across the street to E. Division. As they passed by the surf shop, he said, "I want to be honest with you." Bella nodded. "You have to know I've had a crush on you."

"I—"

"You're quite attractive… for a human… and it's been fun playing around with you, but I'm getting agitated. You're so—" His gaze wandered up her body, and he smirked. Bella couldn't feel her feet. Her lungs burned—was she breathing? She didn't know how to check. "You're such a liability. I'm going to join Alice and Jasper in Alaska for a while, then we might all move back. I find I miss Tanya more than I thought I would. Not much to Forks, is there?"

Division certainly was exemplary of Forks scenery – flat white buildings against a flat white sky, grass and trees growing everywhere like a green infection. "But—"

"I'm sure you're worried about Victoria. Don't. Alice will see her coming and we'll all be back in Washington for the fight. I'm sure Jacob will tell you when we give them word." He wouldn't even tell her personally. "You're not good for me, Bella."

"I know," was all she could think to say.

"I have to go, now. I—"

The next Bella heard was someone calling her name. When she opened her eyes, she was looking up at Charlie crouching at her side. She was surrounded by wet grass. Groaning at the pain in her back, she sat up and looked around. When had they reached the police station? They—Edward. Edward was gone. Charlie fumbled to catch her as she fell down again.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"He's gone." Her body felt broken, like she'd been thrown in a fire and now all her blistered limbs were to heavy to lift. She was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. And he was gone.

When Edward arrived at the house, Carlisle was at work, Esme was shopping, and Emmett was hunting in the park. Rosalie was alone. Even as Edward's Volvo pulled into the garage and parked, she desperately wished anyone else was there. When she actually saw him, she felt like she was drowning in his pain. She couldn't handle this. She was the worst person in the world to handle this.

"What—happened?" she said, meeting him at the back door.

_Just blow me off_, she begged him silently. _Go upstairs and fall apart in your own room._

As he fell on to an armchair in the living room, clearly he wasn't listening. He took a deep breath, then his expression twisted into extraordinary pain. Watching him was like being kicked in the chest, losing all breath, all ability to breathe. She remembered the feeling well. That was the chair Bella had sat in on Saturday, she realized. Her scent was still all over it, especially in the blanket Carlisle had given her – there was a little dollop of dried blood.

"I left her at the police station," Edward gasped out, pressing his head in between his knees. "She thinks I hate her. She thinks—glory be, I love her so much."

"Why does she—think that—?"

"Because I told her that. It's for the best. I only put her in danger. She deserves—" He was hyperventilating. This was ridiculous! He didn't need to breathe! What the hell was he doing telling Bella he hated her? What the hell was Bella doing believing him? Didn't she have eyes? Didn't she know anything, the skinny little bitch?

She walked to Edward, touched his head cautiously with her long fingers – they looked good against his hair. Suddenly, he sat up.

"What am I doing here? I could be—" He ran to the back door, then stopped. "Damn it, I have to charge my cell phone." He ran upstairs. "I hope you can. Do your cell phone batteries come fully charged? Excellent. I need fifty batteries for the Nokia 8800. What do you mean you don't carry that phone?"

Of course Sprint of Forks didn't carry that phone. She sighed and went to their computer cluster. This she could help with. She logged on to the Nokia Web site and bought five batteries with next day shipping. After a few seconds, Edward appeared at the bottom of the staircase. "Thank you. Only five?"

"The batteries have eight days of standby time. One battery will be plenty, but there's no reason not to be prepared. Alice will probably call before the week is out. Here." She hurried to her purse, took out her phone, the same she had ordered for everyone in the family, and removed the battery. "I charged mine last night. I'm assuming you plan on stalking her full-time now, hero?"

He nodded, unrepentant, fixing his phone. He smiled at Rosalie, kissed her cheek lightly, and ran back out the door. Bella didn't deserve him. Perhaps that was unkind. Edward could be a clever liar. Rosalie was tempted to go find the little girl and tell her everything Edward refused to. If she acted like such an idiot once she was well informed, Rosalie would give herself leave to hate the girl.

Emmett came home within the hour and Rosalie distracted himself with him. Thank god their relationship had never been so complicated. She would never wish this life on anyone, but for his own sake, perhaps Edward should have had Carlisle change Bella when he first saw her. As Emmett grabbed her by the hips and flipped her on top of him, so exactly right inside her, she thought, _worked out perfect for me_.

1) My explanation for Sam's request to have the pack fight the vampires, not in EC, is that the pack hasn't actually fought with any vampires in this universe, Laurent dead probably before Sam realized he wasn't insane and could de-phase, Victoria's vendetta very different.


	12. Chapter 11: Time

Chapter 11: Time

On Saturday, Bella almost lost her virginity. She couldn't remember Friday. It was so easy to lose herself in Jacob's relentless sexual energy, kissing him, touching him. He was so focused, it made up for her lack of focus in anything since…

Jacob had been extra affectionate since Edward left. "I've got you back," he'd said a few times over the past few days, as if she wasn't more lost to him than ever before. All she could think of was Edward. She could smell him, still, like a phantom limb, one she never knew she used so much. She had found so far that she could throw herself into homework or into fooling around with Jacob, but Edward was always there, maybe standing in the corner of the room, watching her with that mocking expression he'd given her when…

_Trying to forget?_ he'd say, raise an eyebrow. _You _should _try. I don't want you._

"Bella," Jacob whispered, taking off her pants. "You—you want to?"

"Yes," she said with no idea what she was agreeing to. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, underscoring her affirmative.

He gave gentle kisses to her neck and made quick work of her jeans, his jeans, her panties, his boxers. Bella stared out her window. Edward had only come through her window once and that was after he'd asked, after she'd begged him. Even if he did care about her, which he didn't, he would never just come in. _Come in_, she pleaded, as if he was hiding in the trees across the road.

"Bella," Jacob said. She pet his shoulder. Was Edward doing this with Tanya right now? Maybe his _crush_ on Bella had shown him Tanya was the right person after all. "Bella." She had finished _Doctor Zhivago_. Yury dies and Lara gets sent to a concentration camp. She wished Edward had been forced away by evil government. She wished she was dead. The moon was bright tonight, in a surprisingly clear sky. "Bella!"

She turned and looked at Jacob, sitting on his legs staring at her. She fingered a piece of foil on the comforter. He'd remembered a condom. That was considerate. A glance at confirmed that he was ready to go. Why hadn't he started? "Bella, where are you?"

"I'm right here." She gave a little smile, looked up at him through her eyelashes, and reached up to his shoulders.

"No, you're not. I can't do this without you." He pulled the condom off with a snap and pulled his boxers back on, then went to her dresser and pulled out a long nightshirt. He tossed it to her and she put it on, curling into herself on her side. Here came another sleepless night. Jacob pulled the covers up around her, then lay on top of them next to her. "Bella…"

She wanted to apologize, but she didn't even feel that. She just felt empty.

* * *

Bella was reading the next chapter of her Calculus book when Charlie knocked on her door on Sunday. She didn't know what problems Mr. Varner would assign, but she didn't mind doing them all. It was distracting at least. "Hey, Bells," he said. He was getting worried about her, she could tell, but thought it was probably just a teenage funk. "I was thinking you and Angela and Jessica could go to Port Angeles and buy a new dress for the scholarship acceptance thing next Friday. My treat." Clearly he thought the funk could be cleaned out by shopping

"What scholarship acceptance thing?"

"For Happy Value," he said slowly, wrinkling his brow. "They're having a little ceremony. The CEO's going to give you your first check and the mayor's going to be there… I'm going to be there, too, I mean, as the Police Chief, I have to be. I've gone since they started this thing, but, Bella, it's so special that it's going to be you up there this time. That Edward's really something I'm really sorry they all had to go back to Alaska for that funeral."

Was that the story? "Yeah." She went back to the Calculus book.

"So… do you want to get a dress? I'll swing for gas, dinner out…"

"That's okay," she said, refusing to look up at his worried face. "I'm sure I have something." She did, actually, still have the blue silk dress Alice bought in New York. She ran to her closet – she had seen Edward the night she'd worn it, sat close to him – maybe it still smelled like him. It was wrapped in plastic on a wire hanger, though, and she remembered she'd had it dry-cleaned. It smelled like ten-dollar soap. "Um, this," she said to explain her sudden movement and thrust it out at Charlie.

"Okay," he said uncertainly. "Maybe you could—"

She quickly put the dress back and sat down, Calculus book in lap. "Midterms are coming already, can you believe it? We'll all do something when we're not so busy." He shrugged. "Did you bring home something good to cook for dinner?"

"Of course!" Grinning, Charlie described his best catch and Bella focused on every word to stay focused on him.

Monday dragged on. When it was time to go to the library, the third study session in a row that wasn't happening, she felt close to hyperventilating. Mike and Tyler stopped to talk to her, but that just made it worse. She ran to the main office and asked Mrs. Cope if she could use the phone.

"Are you all right, dear?" she asked. Bella nodded spastically. Frowning, Mrs. Cope lifted the phone on to the desk's ledge and Bella called Jacob. School had only been out for ten minutes in La Push, too, but maybe he was home already. She tapped her foot waiting for someone to pick up the phone. Finally, he did.

"Hi! Do you mind if I come over and do homework right now?" She could have just gone over, but if he and the pack had something planned, sitting alone in his house would be worse than sitting alone in hers.

"Don't you have a Calculus thing?"

"Cancelled!" she shrieked and fought tears. "But I'm all revved up to study and—"

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "I mean, yeah, of course. You're always welcome here."

"And you'll stay with me?" Mrs. Cope looked very close to calling Charlie, so Bella tried to smile at her. This only deepened the woman's frown.

"Of course, yeah."

"Great! See you soon!" She hung up and handed the phone back to Mrs. Cope. "I'm really fine. Just—" There was nothing to say, so she rushed out of the office and towards her car. The ground was slick, though, and she slipped, falling backwards on to her bottom, then her back. A worried crowd formed, the worst part of being clumsy, something she'd forgotten because—Edward had been there to catch her the past five months.

She wanted to die.

It was better with Jacob, in two ways. It was better being with him now than being with anyone else, especially alone with herself. It was also better with him now than it had been in months. In an effort to make her feel better, he was acting more like before his werewolf gene had woken up and he and the pack started sharing thoughts. He made her smile, he babbled in that way she found charming when she was falling in love with him.

Sometimes she could go whole hours without thinking of Edward. Tuesday. Wednesday. At night, she never knew when she fell asleep because it was all the same: wishing for Edward, waiting for Edward. Thursday. Friday.

The Happy Value Scholarship Ceremony was held at five o'clock. It was widely attended by people who cared about her: Charlie, Jacob, Billy, Sam and Emily, Quil, Embry, Jared and Kim, Paul, Seth, Leah, and their parents, Mike, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Eric, Tyler, Austin, Conner, even Lauren and kids she didn't know the names of from school. Not Edward. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett were in the back of the crowd, but that just made it more obvious that Edward wasn't there.

Malcolm Happy, Happy Value's CEO, gave a longwinded speech about the value of ambition, the value of education, and the value of life, then brought it around to Bella. But to introduce her, he first talked about Edward Cullen, the earnest young man who made it clear that she was the only option for this scholarship. "Although I know Forks has many bright, talented youth, Mr. Cullen was persistent. He presented signatures of half this town, recommendations from teachers here and Phoenix, Arizona, where Miss Swan began her education, graded projects and tests, samples of her college application essays… he even had a PowerPoint presentation prepared. I wish, and I'm sure he wishes, that he could be here today to present the result of all his hard work to his friend, but I am pleased to claim responsibility."

He talked about Bella, then, but she stopped listening. Keeping her expression even and appreciative for the three camera crews took all her attention.

How could he do that for her and then leave? How could he track down a teacher that still remembered her from her huge Phoenix high school and not care about her at all? She desperately wanted to ask his family, but, despite their presence here, Rosalie was as distant at school as she was when the Cullens first arrived and the two times she went to their house, it was deserted. Only the south wall's generous view of the interior convinced her they hadn't moved all together.

When the crowd started clapping, Bella forced her smile wider and turned to Malcolm Happy and shook his hand, accepted an oversized check, and smiled with him for many flashing cameras. She wasn't required to make a speech, but there was something of a press conference afterwards and then Lauren escorted her to Sally Mallory. Her early questions were quite harmless, but she made the climax of her interview with the juicy stuff.

"Edward Cullen has saved you from an armed burglar, a speeding car, and going into debt for a college education. You must be very grateful to this young man."

Bella nodded, and focused on maintaining a smile while her mouth moved. "Of course I am. He was a good friend to me for a long time."

"Was?" Sally Mallory's face was as hard as her curls.

"Is!" She swallowed a few times, her throat only getting tighter and dryer. "Has been a good friend, is what I meant."

"And why _is_n't is he today?"

Turning to the camera, Bella said the first thing that came to mind. "He's saving the sea otters in Northern Alaska."

Sally Mallory blinked at her, then blinked at the camera. "Well—there you have it. Isabella _Swan_, the 2008 Happy _Val_ue scholar and one of Edward Cullen's _many_ causes."

For a few blissful moments, Bella was alone. Before the loneliness of being alone could strike her, Jacob was at her side. "So. I can't believe Cullen did this for you. You knew?"

"There are a few Cullens, Jake, so don't—"

"I think you know what Cullen I mean." Bella pressed her hands to her face. It was better when she could cut out even one sense. "You knew _he_ got you the scholarship?"

"I—Charlie helped. I have to go." She thrust the check at Jacob and ran towards her truck, the whole town population who wanted to congratulate her. Thankfully she didn't trip or they would have swarmed and she wouldn't have gotten out of there until dinnertime. She had no awareness of driving, but the next time she looked up she was at the trailhead that marked the way to the meadow. Could she find it without Edward to carry her there? It was four o'clock on Friday afternoon and she had all weekend to try.

Ten steps into the forest, she stumbled over a protruding tree root. She realized that underneath her jacket, she was wearing a dress, tights, and a pair of heeled ankle boots. She was not what you would call prepared for a hike. The sensible thing to do would be to get a map, a compass, maybe a boyfriend who knew his way around the forest, but she took another step forward. Going anywhere else sounded worse than getting lost.

It was pitch black in the forest by six o'clock. Bella had no idea where she was. She hadn't tripped since it became too dark to see, but her luck wasn't going to last much longer. When she fell, she didn't know how she would get up. What would she grab on to? What direction would she go then? Sleeping out here wouldn't be too bad. It was freezing, but… maybe she'd die out here. That wouldn't be too bad either.

Finally, she did lose her footing on a some slippery leaves. She felt the skin of one knee and her palms break, but the stinging was submerged within the numbness. Feeling moss against her left arm, she tossed herself on to her back that direction and lay there, catching her breath.

"Bella!" a voice said. It was Edward. She was hallucinating. She knew death wouldn't be so bad. "What are you doing in the woods in the middle of the night?"

"The middle of the night? Come on," she argued. "It can't be seven yet." She was arguing with her own hallucination. She felt amazing, her whole body basking in release and then she realized she was laughing. It felt like the first time she'd used her lungs in days, the first time she didn't have to appropriately organize her mouth.

"Hypothermia, wild animals, and _vam_pires don't squabble over if it's seven p.m. or two a.m., Bella!" her Edward snapped. "Do you want to die?"

She stopped laughing. "Yes," she said softly.

His face appeared above her, beautiful and sad. She felt his cold arms wrap around her through her jeans and he ran through the forest. She pressed her face into his neck against the biting wind. The hallucination even smelled the same. When he laid her down on the soft grass of the meadow, she thought for a moment that this was heaven.

When she realized that this was all real, it took her ten seconds to get mad.

Okay! So it gets happy from here. Thank you for making it through all the angst. I have technically written an interlude to follow this, Carlisle and Esme's first meeting, to contrast with Edward and Bella's relationship, but I can understand if you want to pass over it. I might post it on its own...


	13. Interlude 2: Waking Up

Interlude: Waking Up (between ch. 11 and 12)

_February, 1911. Columbus, OH._

If Mrs. Beacham had been in labor one hour longer, Carlisle would have missed her. His assistant Otto would have set her leg and sent the Platts to the nearest inn before he even returned to his office. He wouldn't have known a reason to check on her in the morning. He sent through the wind a silent thanks to the newly christened Barnaby Beacham for his well-planned entrance into the world. His mother got a full night's sleep and Carlisle got a brief look at Esme Platt.

"We-welcome back, sir!" Otto met him at the door and took his hat, bag and coat and bowed his way to the hat stand. Edward smiled. Otto was a nervous, self-conscious young man right now, but he had a good understanding of medicine and the body and in a few years, Carlisle would be able to leave Columbus safe in Otto's capable hands. "How d-d-did it go?"

"Mother and son both happy and sleeping when I left, Doctor Kesler." Although Carlisle would have preferred to be on a first name basis with his assistant, Otto's upbringing wouldn't allow him to address his superior so informally, and Carlisle thought responding in kind helped to remind him of his own authority and intelligence. "How does the hospital fare?"

Otto's gaze drifted to the girl asleep on top of a typewriter at her desk at the front of the room. Natasha Singer, the hospital's secretary and the lovely keeper of Otto's heart. He sighed and watched her, his arm half-extended to catch Carlisle's hat on a hook.

"Otto?"

He started and flushed. "Well! Well, Dr. Cullen! We are all quite well here. It has been a quiet evening."

"Perhaps it's time to send Miss Singer home?"

"Yes." Otto frowned, moving the hat into different positions on the top of the stand "I was hesitant to disturb her."

Carlisle chuckled. Otto was hesitant to speak to Natasha, let alone touch her, as he would be required to do to wake her up. When he was quite inebriated a few months ago, he'd confided that he was worried he'd be possessed to press her whole body to his if any part of their skin connected. It was delightful to watch their relationship evolve.

Carlisle took the initiative and said, "Miss Singer—" pressing a hand to her shoulder, when the front door burst open and a burly older man turned around, revealing a stunning young girl in his arms.

"Oh!" Natasha said, standing and pushing her curly dark hair back into her deflated pompadour. "Hello, sir. What's the trouble?"

"I'm Henry Platt," the man said. "This is my daughter, Esme. We think she's broken her leg—a young lady climbing a damn _tree_."

Esme did not blush or look away from Carlisle, she only shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him, green eyes wide and shining.

"Are you in p-pain, Miss Platt?" Otto said, pushing his glasses up his nose and examining her ripped-stockinged legs from a distance, out of propriety. "W-w-which leg—"

Quicker than the humans, Carlisle realized Mr. Platt was exhausted and was a few seconds from losing his hold on his daughter. Carlisle walked to them swiftly and put his arms beneath her. Esme dropped a few inches into his hold when Mr. Platt's arms gave way.

"Gracious!" Esme chuckled through a wince as her leg was jostled. She put her arms around his neck, bringing her face close to his, her breasts against his chest. "Quick thinking, sir!"

"Excuse me, I should introduce myself," he said, staring at Mr. Platt instead of giving in to his urge to gaze upon Esme for the rest of all time. "I'm Dr. Cullen."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Esme answered before her father could. He was forced to look at her, noticed the heat of her skin underneath her light country dress. "I think you have negated the need to shake hands."

Oh, but he wanted to feel her hand in his.

"I'll just—I'll take her in the back," he said, caught in her gaze. Her smile slowly faded from her face, leaving her eyes dark and almost—predatory? She moved her tongue over her full bottom lip, and he noticed the incredible little indent in the center. He swallowed down the venom flooding his mouth. He had never been hungry like this. Not to bite her, just to—make her wet with his tongue. "To examine her injury," he clarified for himself.

"Dr. Cullen—" Natasha started just as Otto said something much more softly and they looked at one another and blushed.

"Dr. Kesler and Miss Singer will make you comfortable, Mr. Platt." Carlisle forced himself to look away from Esme and smile at her father.

Otto asked if he could help, but Carlisle was already walking away. He deserved the half hour it would take to set the leg if he was never going to see her again. He had to leave Ohio. If this was within fifty miles of him, it would slowly drive him insane not to be with her. He realized he had been making a plan to quickly ready Otto to lead the small hospital and find a new position since the moment she came into the room.

"Where in town do you and your father live?" he asked as he laid her on the examination room bed.

"My father runs a farm in Galloway, actually." Her tone was light, but she shivered as he gestured for her to pull up her skirts and let him take off her stockings. Her garters were white, ornamented with little roses against her buttery tanned legs. It was improper for a man to see a lady's ankles, let alone the smooth curve of her calf, and seeing them now, even with a bone digging unusually outwards, Carlisle understood why. It invited the idea to lift her skirt up all the way. "Our local doctor, Doctor Maguire, is visiting his daughter in Maryland, so we came here."

_I'm glad you did_. It was on the tip of his tongue, but Carlisle just smiled politely. "Do you—"

"I'm glad we did," she said abruptly. "You seem very—capable." Finally, she blushed and looked away from him.

"Doctor Maguire is not?"

"That's not what—well, he _is_ ancient. He birthed my grandmother, my father, and me—ow! Gracious, that was worse than falling out of the tree, Dr. Cullen. Perhaps my initial idea of you was false."

He laughed. "I was snapping your bone back in place, Miss Platt. It's a clean break and in such cases, I've found it easier to do it without warning."

"I suppose it does feel better now," she said grudgingly and he winked at her. She licked her lips.

He stood and said, "Try to keep your leg as still as possible," then went to the other side of the room to cut the plaster bandages and warm a pan of water.

"There's stunning crown molding in this room," she called out to him. "And the ceiling dome in the front room has the most lovely detail. How is it back lit?"

"Are you interested in architecture?" Her smile was glowing. He hoped she went to Italy one day, and France, and saw the true brilliance of European design. He would not entertain the idea of taking her there. "There's a hatch in the floor of the room above, with space for short candles. It's a fire hazard, I think, but quite lovely. The hospital was lucky to have this building given to us. Have you seen the work of Frank Lloyd Wright?"

"Oh! I consider him genius, Dr. Cullen!" She moved to bounce, then smiled sheepishly and clapped carefully. "I doubt Father would ever agree, but I would so love to see the Westcott House in Springfield."

"It's an incredible piece of art. Burton Westcott is insufferably smug about it, rightly so."

She squealed, as he hoped she would. "You've been in_side_ the Westcott House?"

"You won't think I'm so delightful when I put on the cast. You're going to be sore and itchy for weeks." He pressed his fingers to the damp, tender skin underneath her knee and placed her leg in a stirrup to keep it steady and off the mattress, then began wrapping the gauze base.

"Giving up on the 'no warning' approach now, are you?" He smirked and when he looked up at her, she was smirking back. He concentrating on putting an even coat of plaster over the gauze. "How old are you, Dr. Cullen?"

He hesitated for a moment, somehow not wanting to lie to her. "Two hundred and sixty five," he said and cracked a smile. She rolled her eyes. "Why, do I seem old?"

She leaned back on her elbows and looked at him for a few moments. "You _look_ very young. But you seem—" She laughed, shaking her head, and wrapped her arms around her midsection. "I don't know."

He smudged some plaster on her nose. "You're very perceptive, Esme. So, how old are _you_?"

"Sixteen," she said quietly, hiding her face beneath a towel as she wiped her nose, then with more force, "I'll be seventeen in—August."

He pursed his lips and said seriously, "Virtually sixteen and a half."

She laughed. "Exactly. With the maturity of one twice that age."

"Thirty three at heart, ay? Very impressive." He crouched on the floor to focus on the making the cast around her foot even to walk on. "You are, you know. You're a very impressive young woman."

She inhaled sharply. "I—thank you, Dr. Cullen."

There was a few minutes of silence between them, then Carlisle couldn't help but say, "Do you have a beaux, Miss Platt?"

"Please call me Esme. You did a moment ago, Dr. Cullen—what's your Christian name?"

He shouldn't tell her. He should avoid intimacy at all costs. "Carlisle," he said softly.

"Carlisle." He'd always found his name awkward: two disconnected syllables, ending in a slur, but she made it sound like music. He saw her tongue touch her top front teeth with the "lie" sound as if in slow moving picture frames. "No, I don't."

"Don't what?" Carlisle fisted his hands in the plaster to keep from touching her.

"Don't have a beaux. I think I've been waiting for—" Their gazes met and she inhaled sharply. "—something."

"Esme," he said softly. The cast was finished; it only had to dry now. He stood up, took his supplies back across the room and washed his hands. "You're going to meet people and do things in your life you can't even imagine now."

"Oh, yes." Esme's tone made him look back at her and she rolled her eyes at him. "A housewife in Ohio. I am amazed at the future before me."

Drying his hands, Carlisle walked back to her. "If you don't want that, you won't have that." He wiped splashed plaster from her knee with the damp towel. "My little tree-climber, you can do whatever you wish."

Esme sat up straight, bringing their faces inches apart. "Whatever I wish?" Her breath was hot and smelled like cinnamon and blood—a bite on the inside of her cheek. "Anything, Carlisle?"

"Well, tonight—" Closing his eyes, Carlisle forced himself away from her, busied himself with taking her leg out of the sling and setting her upright. "Tonight you should get some good rest, let your leg start healing."

Esme laughed lightly. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen."

After he outfitted her with a pair of crutches, Carlisle led Esme back into the real world. Mrs. Platt was sitting with her husband in the waiting room. Her parents fell upon her with coos and kisses and Carlisle walked to Otto's side, lingering around Natasha's desk, his temporary little family in his solitary existence.

"Miss Platt l-looks well," Otto said, his gaze on the nape of Natasha's neck.

"She does—" _She looks beautiful. _"That has nothing to do with me."

Otto laughed, perhaps mistaking his words for modesty. Carlisle walked the Platts outside and pointed them in the direction of the Great Southern Hotel – the lobby featured stunning architectural detail and Esme would like it. He hailed a carriage cab and, as she still wasn't used to the cast, Carlisle took hold of one of her arms and helped her into her seat. Their gazes met once more and then they were gone.

The silence was stifling inside the hospital. He missed the sound of her heartbeat. The tick-tock of the clocks was torture, every beat urging him to run after her. Carlisle focused on keeping his feet still on the ground. This was worse than resisting the bloodlust had ever been.

Otto helped Natasha with her coat and watched her from the window, waiting for a cab, getting inside, and riding away. The moment she was out of hearing range, Carlisle took his assistant by the shoulder and gave him a careful shake.

"Otto!" he said. This was not his usual teaching method, but direct was the only option left. "Take control of your life. Tell Natasha you love her. You are a good man and a good doctor. Tell her tomorrow. And then we will plan my departure."

"D-d-d-doctor! Dr. Cullen! What—I c-cannot—why should you—"

"You can. I must."

* * *

End notes

1) This is deviating from Meyer's description of Carlisle and Esme meeting… she said that he was about ready to leave Columbus anyway, but I thought it was extra romantic and sad if she _made_ him skedaddle.


	14. Chapter 12: The Truth

Chapter 12: The Truth

She was shouting at him. A week of torture and now she was shouting at him.

It felt amazing.

"How could you leave!" She was standing several feet from him, waving her arms. He could feel her heat, her pulse from her. With several open wounds, he was hungry for her, but the icy air had forced them all to clot early, just a tease of dead blood cells. "You saved my life again and again, you were always _there_, just—looking at me, and you—why? Because you had a crush? And then you just left? Why!"

She wasn't exactly making sense, but he said, "Why what?" more because he didn't know what to tell her. The truth about why he treated her terribly and then left her without decent explanation? Tell her that he didn't leave and saw that his desperate hope that she would lose any affection she had for him in anger hadn't happened at all? The truth that he loved her?

"Why—everything!" If their strength levels had been reversed, she would have killed him with her gaze. "Why are you here right now?"

He shrugged. This was another question he could edge around. "You were lost in the woods. I was worried."

"You were worried? Because I was lost in the woods! Be worried that you left me alone—"

"I didn't leave you alone—"

"You left me without you! What the hell else matters, Edward?" She stomped towards him and slapped him in the chest. He moved with her, maintaining contact, but keeping her from hurting herself. "Without you… it's a half life. It's getting by. It's been destroying me! You can't just come into my life and then leave because I don't mean enough to you."

She was so close to him and her words gave him such hope… he couldn't help being honest this time. "You mean everything—!"

"Everything! I hope you're lying because at least if I don't mean anything, there's some excuse for the way you've treated me."

That he was the cause of her unhappiness since the second strategy meeting had been eating away at him, but there _had_ been an excuse for his actions. He moved to grab her arms, then forced himself not to touch her. "No! Jasper almost killed you and—"

"I'm sorry!" Eyes glossy, she crossed her arms over her chest and walked slowly away from him. "It was about the temptation of my blood? You know I can't help it! I—"

"Don't apologize!" He followed her, his hand hovering above her shoulder. "_You_ aren't doing anything wrong! _I_ am putting you in danger! All the time. I had to leave you alone."

"That's why you left?" Her voice was soft now.

"Of course that's why I left. Everything I said… was it really just a week ago? I lied. I've never had a crush on you. I'm in love with you. I love you in a way I didn't know existed before I met you. It's as if you fill up all these spaces in my soul I didn't know were there. That's why I left. Or—didn't leave. I've been following you around. I've been spending the night outside your bedroom for months, but… I've been crouching below the windows of your classes, walking along the border of La Push when you're with Jacob, running a few yards behind your car… I'm sorry. I never wanted you to have to deal with this. I know you love Jacob—" She spun around suddenly, took his face in her hands.

"No, I love you. I mean, I do love Jacob, but with you…" She blushed and let out a shaky breath. "You fill up my holes too."

He had no idea what to say. Had he died and there was paradise for the damned? How could this be real?

A frown settled on Bella's face. Using his neck as leverage, she tried to pull herself up. Instinctually, he wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her. Once their faces were even with one another, she took a deep breath and kissed him. Shocked, he dropped her. She squealed and slipped as her feet hit the ground, falling backwards. Laughter bubbled up inside of him. This was real. He caught her half way to the ground and lifted her back into position.

Faces inches apart, they stared at one another while Bella caught her breath. She shimmied her arms out of his grasp and put her hands back on his face, running her fingers over the lines of his bones. "Once," she said quietly. "I made Jacob come in his pants." He growled and wanted to squeeze her tighter, but he would have hurt her and his muscles wouldn't let him. "But if I ever need proof of my sexual prowess, it's just now. I made the manipulative, overprotective vampire drop me when I kissed him."

Cocky little human. He kissed her. Outdoing him again, she grabbed his hair and pulled him closer, opened her mouth and made a little whimpering noise. Her lips, hot and soft against his, felt incredible, but her taste… made him want to eat her. He wrenched his face away from hers and tried to inhale something else, but she was too close. Not even the lingering wolf-smell made it better. He set her more carefully on the ground and ran to the other side of the meadow and took a few deep breaths of the fresh air.

"I'm sorry!" she called out, too loudly, but she probably couldn't see anything in the darkness.

"Please, don't apologize," he said as he walked back to her. She was shivering, he realized. Of course she was in this weather. He ran his hands up and down her arms, hoping the friction could warm her despite his temperature. "Maybe we should go—"

For the first time since he became a vampire, his sense of smell didn't alert him to the problem. It was the roar that told him that Jacob was behind him and furious.

Taking a few steps form Edward, Bella tried to reason with Jacob but he was animalistic, beyond even full sentences in his thoughts. "Jake!" she said and his response was, _Love her. Mine! Why is _he_ here? Away! Make him go away. Mine!_ Jacob's gaze was shooting from Edward to Bella, his giant body trembling, taking unsteady steps towards them.

Edward said her name slowly. "Go away. Go into the woods until it's quiet here."

"No!" she said, but he stared at her until she took a few steps back.

Jacob's gaze trained on Bella and Edward realized he'd done the wrong thing. _Mine!_ he thought and, with a roar, jumped towards Bella. Edward leaped in between them, but Jacob was huge and all Edward accomplished was adding more weight on top of Bella. He heard a bone crack as Jacob's giant paw reared back and Edward made another mistake. In an effort to push the fight off of Bella, he rammed Jacob forward and the striking claws missed Edward and came down on Bella's hip as he flew backwards across the meadow.

Bella shouted in pain. _Bella's hurt?_ Jacob thought. _I hurt Bella. _He phased back into human form and stalked to where Edward was cradling Bella. The wounds were superficial, made through her down jacket, but Edward was still furious and met Jacob halfway.

Glad that he was more vulnerable, or at least smaller, in his naked human body, Edward grabbed Jacob's arms and jumped, kicking Jacob in the chest, the force against his shoulders pulling his arms out of their sockets. Without waiting for a response, Edward took Bella back up in his arms and ran as fast as he could towards the hospital.

Frustratingly, Carlisle was working tonight, so they would have to go through official channels to clean her up. Edward ran until he hit the hedges around the building, then went at a human speed toward the E.R. entrance. "She was attacked by a bear," he told the first nurse he saw. "Where's Dr. Cullen?"

The hallway was near empty and every nurse in sight went into a frenzy, getting her a wheelchair and pulling out carts of medical supplies. Carlisle calmly put down a magazine and walked towards them.

"What happened?" he said, smoothing her hair away from her forehead. Bella opened her eyes and clearly tried to smile, though came off as more of a wince.

"Jacob," he said, too low to be heard by anyone else. Carlisle nodded, unsurprised. "He and I landed on top of her, broke something. He scratched her, here," He gestured to the shredded edge of the parka and her blood-soaked blue dress. "And I'm sure she's freezing."

Carlisle moved each of her legs, delicately. "Is it—" She sucked in a breath. Edward pressed several hard kisses to her head, grateful that he had some leave to do that now. "Yep, the left fibula." With one unnaturally firm, steady hand, Carlisle held her leg still while he examined the cuts. "They're not too deep," he said. "I bet they burn, though, don't they?" He used an over-fluctuated voice meant for children, making Bella smile and nod.

A hyper little nurse insisted that he put Bella in the wheelchair and he followed her entourage until they reached the sign, hospital personnel only. Carlisle grimaced sympathetically, but told him to sit tight. "She'll be fine."

He knew she'd be fine! He just wanted to stay with her. As it turned out, Carlisle's authority had done nothing to speed up hospital proceedings since last spring. Did it really take so long to set a leg and put a cast on it? Keep the family away when the patient might crash, he understood that, but why keep them away when she was going to be _fine_, Carlisle? What could he complicate by being there?

When the nurses settled Bella in a room and Carlisle left to bring Edward to her, he stood up and started down the hallway to meet Carlisle halfway. Grinning ruefully when he saw him, Carlisle ruffled his hair and turned around in pace with Edward. "I'm glad you're back," he said. "Are you going to tell her you love her?"

"I already have," he said, surprised himself that the conversation in the meadow had really happened.

"You guys going steady now?" If he could have blushed, he would have. As it was, the venom swirled underneath his cheeks.

"I don't know," he said and bumped Carlisle in the side.

Already grinning, Carlisle burst out laughing. "Edward, I don't believe I've ever heard you sound like a petulant teenager before just now. That's good. She's good for you."

Edward wasn't embarrassed at that. It was simply true.

He hated the smell of hospitals. Cleaning solution, bleach, latex, sweat, and old blood. Even as he had to force back the desire to kill her, Bella's incredible scent was a relief as they neared her door and walked in.

She looked tiny and battered underneath the powder blue blanket. Her eyes opened at the sound of their footsteps and she smiled as he came close to her. "Edward!"

He chuckled as he took her hand in his and kissed her palm. "You sound surprised."

"No," she sighed, closing her eyes again. "Just happy."

"Do you think Jacob will come to the hospital?" Carlisle said.

"Probably." Edward's voice was low. He hadn't gone into Jacob's thoughts since the fight. He was worried about his own self control in not finding him and inflicting some permanent damage. Better to be surprised when and if he came here tonight, letting the sterile, public hospital atmosphere help him keep calm.

"One of the nurses called the police to report the bear attack, so Charlie—" There was a bustle outside the room and then Charlie was in the doorway, out of breath, his blue uniform shirt off-buttoned and half-tucked into his pants.

"Hello, Chief Swan."

"Edward!" Charlie said, delighted to see him. His fear was cut in half just by Edward's presence. _My girl got a guardian angel when the Cullens came to town_. Kind, stupid man. "You're back!"

"Um—yes, sir. I wanted to make it back for the scholarship ceremony, but my plane was delayed in a snow storm. I got back in town a half hour after it ended."

"Snow in Alaska, imagine that." He chuckled at his own joke, watching Bella's sleepy face with soft eyes. "No wonder she ran off the second the reporters left her alone." Charlie's mind ran through her interview with Sally Mallory, which he'd seen from a distance, but had to stay too far away to hear. Sea otters. Hah. "She really felt you leaving, you know, Ed. She's been moping—"

Entirely for Charlie's benefit, Bella said, "Dad!" and squinted at him.

"I don't plan on leaving her again, sir." Edward said this for Bella's benefit. "If the sea otters of Northern Alaska need me again, we'll help them together."

Charlie frowned. "I don't know about that. Bell's has some bad luck, you know? If she can get attacked by a bear in Forks, who knows what'll come after her in the wilds? She's okay, isn't she?" he said, turning to Carlisle.

"Absolutely." He smiled and squeezed Charlie's shoulder. "Just sore and tired. She could probably go home tonight, but—"

"Let her sleep. I bet you're tired too, huh?" he said to Edward. "Carrying her from—hey, where did you two manage to get attacked by a bear?"

Shrugging, he said smoothly, "Just taking a walk. We didn't notice how dark it was getting, I guess, and the next thing I knew there was a growl and a black bear running out of the forest. I really didn't see very much… I grabbed Bella the first chance I could and ran. It was lucky she didn't try to chase us. I think she might have just woken her up from hibernation." Edward got a little kick from calling Jacob a woman.

Charlie pulled a pad out of his back pocket and wrote his description down. After asking a few more simple questions, he replaced the pad and flopped down on a chair by Bella's bed. She had fallen asleep with her hand in Edward's and a few times a minute she squeezed it a little tighter.

The night wore on. Charlie called the station with report of the bear of attack. Carlisle came in to check on Bella's statistics, although Edward noticed every fluctuation in her breathing and heart rate. At ten-thirty, Charlie fell asleep and at eleven, he flailed awake again. "What—? Oh, mmm—" He stretched. "Ed, you going home soon? It's late."

"I suppose so, sir," he agreed, to encourage Charlie to leave and get a good night's sleep. He stood. "Can I walk you to your car?"

"Sure, sure. Thanks." They said goodbye to Carlisle, stretched out on two chairs and frowning at _Us Weekly_, on the way out the door. Standing in the open door of Carlisle's Mercedes, he waved until the cruiser was out of sight, then went back inside to Bella's room. For once, he was grateful for Forks Community Hospital's relatively lax policies, as one nod from Dr. Cullen let Edward stay all night long. In a bigger city, he would have had to sneak in and hide from the orderlies, an annoying waste of time.

Bella stirred awake early the next morning. Edward left her side to close the window blinds against the brightening white sky and when he turned back, she was watching him. "Good morning, beauty. How do you feel?"

"Wonderful," she said, shivery-stretching in to the mattress, like a cat. "You're here."

"I think they have you on some painkillers," he said, smiling helplessly. She rolled her eyes at him. "Do you want something to eat?"

"A hospital tray sounds pretty unappetizing. When can I break out of here?"

"Any time you'd like." He wished he'd thought to run to her house for a fresh set of clothes. He sat down beside her and took her hand between his, ran a finger down a curving blue vein to her wrist and— "What happened to your bracelet?"

She frowned at him, blinked at her wrist. There was a barely perceptible tan line from where the bracelet used to rest. "I must have lost it in the woods."

Ready to offer to find it and bring it back to her, it was suddenly obvious that her heart rate was speeding up. What was wrong? "Are you—"

"I'm going to break up with Jacob!" she exploded, eyes wide, then relaxed against her pillows again.

Edward's first thing he wanted was to pull her into his arms and twirl her around, but the last thing he wanted was for her to make a hasty decision that she would regret later. "Bella, he was a little out of his mind last night—"

"No, it's not because of that." Frowning, she reached out and grabbed his hand, pondering each of his fingers slowly. She said finally, "I—want to kiss you and I don't want to feel guilty when I do it."

That was exactly the motivation of a hasty decision. "Fleeting desires—"

"Edward!" Glaring now, she took his face in her hands and brought it closer to hers. "I've wanted to kiss you every day since I met you." With heartbreaking sweetness, she kissed his forehead. "I want to kiss you every day for the rest of my life. I want to kiss you more than I've ever wanted to do anything."

"You're eighteen," he whispered, unable to make a move away from her.

"Edward!" She matched his pitch. "You, with all your grand experience, said last night that I complete you. So you have to complete me. That's how that works."

"H-how would you know?"

"Please." Tears were dripping down her cheeks, her voice was broken. Edward swiftly slid underneath the sheets and pulled her on top of him, rubbing a soothing hand over her hair and her back. What incredible heat!

"Anything," he promised.

"It's hard enough ending my relationship with Jacob without having to convince you it's the right thing to do. It's the only thing to do. I should have done it the day we met—saved everyone a lot of pain."

"You never even saw me the day we met," he reminded her. "I should have stayed away. That would have saved you and Jacob from any pain."

"You're not god. There's always pain. Never knowing you would have been painful, too, even if I'd never realized what was missing." She was wrong about that. She and Jacob would have been very happy for the rest of their short lives if he'd never introduced himself. The only thing he could do to make up for it now was to endeavor to make Bella happier than she had ever imagined.

Jacob chose that moment to arrive, filling up the whole doorway with his massive body.

It might be hard to make her incandescently happy for a while.

Edward moved from underneath Bella and settled her against the mattress again. "I'll leave you alone together," he said and carefully moved around Jacob out the door. His every instinct screamed to never leave them alone again, but he forced himself to keep moving until he couldn't hear them any longer.

She would choose Jacob. Or she might not. Now that she knew everything, she truly deserved to choose for herself what she wanted.

* * *

Jacob looked like he'd just been through battle: violet shadows under his eyes, sweat and dirt stains on his clothes, his whole body slumped down and forward. Bella ached to take him into her arms and make him feel better, but she knew she couldn't. She would never be able to do that again.

For a few moments, he stood in the doorway, staring down and shuffling his feet. "Jake," she said and he walked to her and dropped down to his knees at the side of the bed in one fluid motion.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered into her stomach.

She rubbed her hand over the soft fuzz of his hair. "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't want to hurt me. I'm fine."

"You're _not _fine." He ran light fingertips over the cuts through her hospital gown, her skin hotter where it was healing, his even hotter than that.

"You lost control. That's _okay_. Even Sam lost control with Emily—"

"But this isn't going to bring _us_ closer together, is it?"

"Jake, I've been lying to you." She was already crying. "I've been spending time with Edward since he helped me with the flat tire. We've been friends… or I've been trying to convince myself that he's just my friend, but—"

"You've been in love with him since the day you met."

"What?" She had not expected him to say that at all.

"When you first mentioned that the Cullens had started at your school… there was a tone in your voice. You were different when he moved to town." He stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, took her hands in his. "Even that day at Olympic National Park, when he saved you from the other leach… sometimes you would bring up that cold feeling like you had witnessed paradise. That was him. I really freaked out when I saw you together in the woods—obviously. But I've had all night to think about it and I realized a part of me saw this coming, was making a little mental scrap book of all the ways you were inadvertently preparing me for the letdown."

"Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry!—"

"But I still think you should pick me. We were happy before the bloodsuckers came here. We'd be happy again. Give yourself some time to get over him and—"

"It would never work," she said, even though he was probably right. If she worked to take as much of her heart back from Edward as she could and hid them away in a box, really stopped thinking about him, instead of obsessing like she had this last week, she and Jacob could be as happy as anyone. The truth was she didn't want to stop thinking about Edward.

"Yes, it would! If Cullen had just _died_ like we're all supposed to—" Bella shivered. "—you and I would have been exactly right together, like flower petals on a stem. We still are!"

It was a beautiful metaphor, but then, in comparison, she and Edward were… crystals inside rock. Edward was the crystal, of course, glittering and perfect, mineral deposits forming for years until the rock was revealed to have the crystal unbreakably connected underneath. She wouldn't tell Jacob that.

"Jacob, I love you and I want to be with you, but I love Edward and I want to be with Edward _more._ That's all there is—"

"You could have children with me!" He straddled her legs and took her face in his hands, forcing her to watch him. "You wouldn't have to give up Charlie and Renée—"

"Why would I have to—Jake! I'm not going to become a—!" But she realized that she didn't want to grow old with Edward frozen in his youth and beauty. If she could have forever with him _literally_, she wanted forever.

Jacob watched the realization on her face. "Yes, you will. If you're with him. You and I could have a family, take our kids down to your mom, go to Disney World, get baseballs signed for all their friends." He kissed her softly, then leaned his forehead on hers. "Imagine Charlie and Billy in twenty years, still out on the lake, making their grandchildren listen to all their boring stories—"

She could see their family, two boys and a girl, dark hair, brown eyes, and with a nice healthy skin tone, lined up next to them on the front lawn of a pink stucco house, like a family portrait faxed from the future. But in the corner of that photo, there was a tree and Edward was hiding behind it, watching over her. Even if he wasn't, Bella would still imagine him there, even twenty years from now, even while she was holding Jacob's son.

"I can see them, Jake." Her throat felt like it was going to twist too tight to breathe. Her voice sounded broken to her own ears. She wrenched her face away from his and hid it in his shoulder. She couldn't look at him, but she made sure to say clearly, "But I love Edward and I want to be with him—more than I want you _and _them… that perfect future."

With a puppy-quality whimper, Jacob pulled himself off of her and sat down on a chair, several feet from her bedside.

"Can we still be friends?" she said, weakly. He made the motions of smiling.

"Of course. Maybe—long distance for a while. But as long as you want anything to do with me, I'll be waiting. If you ever decide you want that life, I'll want it until they day I die."

"No, Jake!" She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with a corner of the sheet. "I'm not worth it. You're going to find some amazing girl and imprint on her—"

"Maybe." Staring out the window, his expression and voice were dull. "But I don't want to. I'd rather be unhappily in love with you than happily in love with someone else. I'm serious; I'm pathetic."

He squeezed into his front pants pocket and pulled out her bracelet. Bella blushed at the sight. She didn't want it back. She was terrified of carrying a reminder of what she'd given up. Jacob lifted his foot to the mattress and twisted the bracelet around the band on his ankle. "You can't have it back," he said quietly. "I guess I'm saving this for someone else."

There was a quiet knock on the door. Bella looked up expecting to see Edward, but Charlie was there, wringing his jacket in his hands. "Hey there, kids. I'm here to take Bells home."

Jacob stood up and cleared his throat. "Billy and I are going to go grocery shopping today, before the Sunday rush. I'll, uh—I'll see you guys later." Without looking at her again, he left the room.

"Wow, Bella." Charlie's voice was half-angry at her. "He looked trampled."

She sighed. "I know."

* * *

Fighting instinct forced Edward to stand as Jacob made his way to the front exit, where Edward had been waiting. The dog was angry and on-edge. Battling with his body's knowledge of a nearby predator, was the euphoria that she had clearly chosen Edward, or Jacob would have been in a much better mood. It was incredibly agitating, like walking on hot coals in the rain.

When he caught sight of Edward, he threw his shoulders back and stalked towards him. When he was within several inches, he stopped and slumped forward again. "It's not going to do any good," he whispered.

Edward knew the feeling. If he could have killed Jacob and gotten rid of the problem, he very likely would have done it months ago. "I know."

Jacob glared at him, then moved to the doors. Edward called out, "Alice called last night." He'd missed the call while he was in the meadow and finally thought to check his phone as a distraction from Bella's conversation with Jacob. "Victoria is bringing the army to Forks. They'll be here by four or five a.m. tomorrow. We're meeting this afternoon to discuss how to stop them from getting to the town."

"I'll tell Sam. We'll be there."

"They outnumber us, so—"

Jacob was already walking away. "You can tell us all at the meeting."

Charlie was leaning outside the door to Bella's when he arrived. He stood up straight and crossed his arms over his chest when he saw Edward coming, putting him almost at equal height. He cut to the chase. "I don't know why I didn't see it coming. I'm not going to lie to you, Edward. I watched Jacob Black grow up and I like him. I liked him with Bella. They fit together."

"I know that, sir," he said, trying to sound young and earnest. "I never wanted—I truly wasn't trying to break them up."

Sighing, Charlie slid into his natural slouch. "I believe you. You're a good kid… growing into a good man, far as I can tell. There's always been a spark between you—no, more like a pilot light, I guess. Are you going to take care of her?"

"_Yes_, sir—"

Charlie chuckled. "I don't know why I asked. That's all you've been doing since you arrived." Not carefully smiled. Charlie gestured to closed door. "Bella's changing. Want to come over for breakfast?"

"I thought I'd take Bella out to eat," Edward said. "I'll treat you both."

"We'll take you up on that," Charlie said and thought, _right, wouldn't want to make her cook or serve her that runny omelet à la Chuck…_ Edward's smile solidified.

An elderly nurse, Violet Davies, came by with a wheelchair, a pair of crutches leaning in the seat. She knocked on the door and Bella whimpered loudly from inside. "I can't get my pants on!" Edward's hand moved instinctively to the door handle and Nurse Davies slapped his wrist and shook her head at him, then opened the door herself and squeezed through the narrow opening. A few minutes later, the door opened again and Bella limped out.

Bella looked beautiful, her face freshly scrubbed and hair pulled back, and it was an incredible relief to be able to look at her and not have to worry about his expression. If he looked besotted, fucking great. "Hi," he said, taking her hand in his.

She blushed. "Hi." She glanced at Charlie and the sternly watching Nurse Davies, then stepped on tiptoes and kissed him. She fell off-balance, of course, not used to the extra weight of the cast, and he caught her in his arms, forcing a longer kiss. He felt her hot little fingertips on the back of his throat like an electric current through his body. Hiding the lower half of his body by hunching as he helped her into the wheelchair and pushing it down the hallway, he demanded his body calm down.

He realized as they walked into the parking lot that his Volvo was still parked in the garage, where it had been for the past week. It was a surprise to see it sitting next to the cruiser. He flipped through his family's minds, but all of them were focused on the upcoming battle. There was a sheet of paper taped to the steering wheel, the words, "You're welcome!" written in Alice's loopy script.

He smiled into Bella's hair as he helped her into the car, then kissed her quickly behind her ear. He had to kill a group of recently-innocent humans in less than a day, but his life was pretty great today anyway.

Edward followed Charlie to a diner where he watched Bella and her father eat more pancakes than he thought digestible. "I haven't really eaten in a while…" Bella said, blushing and not looking at him. The guilt was almost overwhelming, making him dizzy and what he thought might be nauseas.

"Hey," Bella whispered. "You thought you were doing the right thing."

Charlie cleared his throat and mumbled something about the bathroom as he left the table. The restaurant was mostly empty, seven-thirty on a Saturday morning too late for the truckers, too early for the local families.

"But I wasn't doing the right thing," he said, stupidly. What else could he say? He didn't want to alleviate his guilt. It was an appropriate punishment.

"I forgive you," she said, rubbed his thigh, and kissed him on the temple. "I love you."

Her mouth was too close. He couldn't handle it. After living with Emmett and Rosalie for ninety years, had always assumed he'd be against public displays of affection, but how could he _not _kiss her when she was right there? Perhaps it was because he'd gone so many months constantly wanting to and never doing it.

She started nipping at his bottom lip and he opened his mouth without thinking, but then her clever tongue was there, her taste a diluted form of her smell, sweetened with the maple syrup, and _hot_—he pulled away. She just leaned further toward him, so he stood up and walked to the other side of the table.

Out of breath, Bella said, "Wow…" and a shot of masculine pride mixed in with the lust. He took a few breaths of the less-fragrant air and chuckled. He was unsure what he'd been afraid of – killing her or taking her virginity on a linoleum table in front of her father.

Charlie seemed mostly oblivious when he sat down again. The waitress, a girl with heavy eyeliner and ripped black fishnets underneath her sea foam green uniform, smirked at him as she passed them the check. Edward flicked the leather folder out from under Charlie's hand. "No, Ed! You didn't even eat anything."

"Please, sir. I insist." He put a twenty underneath the receipt and shook out Bella's coat to help her put it on. Charlie shrugged, smiling.

"Dad, I'm way behind on my Calculus since Edward's been gone," Bella said as she stood up. "So I'm going to go to his house and study."

"Sure, Bells. Just don't stay out too late." He squinted at Edward and he nodded firmly back. It was a wonder that fathers thought their daughters could only be ravaged after dark, but if it made him feel better, Edward didn't mind.

They drove in the car in silence for a few minutes. He held her hand in between their seats and it felt like all his nerves had collected where their skin touched. "Edward," Bella said. "Do we have to meet up with your family right away?"

"No. Why? Do you actually want to work on Calculus?"

She laughed as she unbuckled her seatbelt. What was she doing? She maneuvered in her seat until she was kneeling, facing him, then made one, surprisingly smooth move of her unbroken leg over his lap. Straddling him now, she ran her gaze up his body and squeezed his shoulders. "No, I don't want to work on Calculus."

Edward could drive and play the guitar, drive and change a diaper, drive and form a pot on a potting wheel, all with his eyes closed, no problem. He pulled to the side of the road and turned off the car. This deserved his full attention.

He carefully licked the outline of her lips. She felt like sunshine under his tongue.

The next real thought he had was Alice's: _Edward and Bella are making out on the side of the road!_ she said to Jasper, driving in her Saab. _We're going to interrupt them. That's hilarious!_

Oh, no they wouldn't. He broke away from Bella. "Jasper—"

She whimpered and found his mouth again, with wet, slow kisses. He gripped his knees, trying to focus on pulling away from her, but her thighs, her butt, her back were only inches away. Her shirt was pushed up almost past her bra strap, her exposed skin hot and covered in pale, downy soft hair. He ran his finger tips over her spine and she shivered and gasped into his neck. He sucked her earlobe into his mouth.

"Wait, you're thinking about Jasper right now?" Bella sat upright as she said this, inadvertently grinding her body down into his. Her lips were puffy and bright red, her shirt pulled up in the front, too, her chest heaving, her nipples hard through her shirt.

Edward bent forward, cupping his hand around the back of her head and pressing her against the steering wheel. Starting at her jaw, he moved his lips around her face, down her throat, over her delicate shoulders…

Bella jumped and hit her head on the car ceiling when Alice tapped on the window and smiled manically at them. Rubbing the bump, Edward reorganized her clothes, and set her back in the passenger seat. He turned on the car and pressed the window down.

"Hello, lovebirds!" Edward didn't respond, just stared at her. "Oh, come _on_, Edward! Like you haven't helpfully forgotten your talent for checking if we're busy and—"

"Take my bedroom, I reserve the right to walk in on you in bed."

"Dawdle for strategy-planning," Jasper said, "And I reserve the right to—"

Bella was going to explode if she got any redder. "_Thank_ you, Jasper. We'll just go, then?"

"Oh, Alice!" Bella awkwardly climbed back into a kneeling position on her seat. For a moment, Edward was afraid she was going to kiss him in front of them out of rebellion, but then she bent into the backseat. "I ruined your dress."

"What dress?"

She handed her a folded pile of dusty blue fabric. "The blue dress you let me borrow."

"Oh, that dress is yours."

"You said you bought it for you!"

"I just said that to get you to take it." Alice rolled her eyes, completely unashamed.

Bella sputtered. "I—then I want to pay for it."

"No! I wouldn't let you pay for a real dress, let alone that thing, torn to shreds."

Edward grinned. There was no logic in that. It took a few seconds for Bella to think of how to respond: "Yes!"

"Okay, fine." Edward huffed at her and Alice waved him off. "It was forty dollars."

"Please. The headbands in that store were fifty."

"Really? What a bargain." Grumbling, Bella bent in the back again and took her wallet out of her purse. She'd taken a few twenties out at the bank on Tuesday, Edward remembered. "No, no, don't pay me now. I don't have my purse."

Edward started the car. "Come on, let's go strategize."

"But!" Bella said, as Alice and Jasper skipped back to their car and he pulled back on the road.


	15. Chapter 13: The Hunt

A/N: I'm _so _sorry this took so long. I've been swamped with finals and family problems and even though this whole thing was written back in July, it takes a good amount of time to format it for web and post it online.

This is the last chapter, but I think it needs an epilogue, so that will be written and posted eventually… hopefully by the end of the week.

Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed. I love you all.

Chapter 13: The Hunt

Ten wolves and twelve vampires were standing in a circle discussing how to save her life. For a moment, Bella was incredibly humbled. She had never, not once in her life, thought she was this important to anyone.

This quickly faded though, and Bella was annoyed she had nothing to do.

"I'm not useless you know."

"Beagles could mush a sled across snow," Emmett said affectionately. "But why not let the huskies do it?" The wolves moved a little agitatedly on the other side of the circle at the reference to dogs. Bella grumbled that she wasn't a beagle, but everyone ignored her and continued discussing Jasper's plan.

Considerately, Edward made sure to stay a few feet away from her in the woods. It was annoying reminiscent of piling pillows between them when they shared a couch, but it was painful enough seeing Jacob's big, brown wolf-eyes watch her from across the circle. She knew it would be so much worse to see his reaction to her in Edward's arms, no matter how much she'd like to feel him near her.

"Though, if you really want to help, if you were actually in the clearing—"

Jacob barked. "No, Jasper," Edward said.

Laughing a little uneasily, Jasper said, "Of course not. Just something I considered."

Why couldn't she be in the clearing? If it was going to be as easy as everyone said it was, she could be easily protected. Watching her with a tight mouth, Edward slipped his hand beneath her hair and squeezed her neck, making her shiver, both a comfort and a warning. "Don't put your errant thoughts into her head."

"So I'll take her around now, leave the false trail," Edward said. "And then—yes, Jacob, you will take Bella to her campsite." He grimaced.

"What?" She said, touching his shoulder.

"Jacob is creating a rather lurid fantasy involving carrying you through the woods. At least the other wolves hate it, too—of _course_ it's just a fantasy, dog."

Was Jacob trying to convince him that they had done whatever he was imagining? Bella rolled her eyes, making Edward relax. They had done very little of the woods and none of it over long distances – or short distances for that matter.

"No, it's not driving me crazy," Edward staid, gaze locked with Jacob. "I trust her. And just look at her – if she had really done what you just described, she'd be blushing as bright as the sun."

"_Any_way—" Jasper said.

"You need to okay with Charlie that you won't be home tonight," Alice said.

"Edward, you can't come," Bella said quickly. Charlie would never let her go and then start sneaking condoms into her underwear drawer.

"Right," Rosalie said. "I'll take you." Bella tried to conceal her shock. It would have been stranger if Tanya had offered, but this was still plenty strange.

Alice's eyes widened for a moment. "Um—I'll tag along, huh!"

Rosalie shrugged, turned, and started running from the clearing.

Edward moved to stand in front of her and lifted her on to her back. "I'll just—take you down." His voice indicated that he wanted to check Rosalie hadn't been taken over by a pod person.

"Let me handle this," Rosalie said, pushing the gearshift forcefully into park, and strutted up the steps to the front door. Her hair billowed around her like a wind machine followed her around. Bella scrambled out of the backseat to follow her inside. Alice smirked and stretched her back out to listen.

"Hello, Chief Swan," Rosalie was saying, giving a wonderful impression of Edward's crooked grin. "I'm Rosalie Hale, one of Carlisle's foster kids."

"Of course!" Charlie said, blushing. "I'm Char—it's a pleasure—hello."

She giggled. "Chief Swan, our cousin Tanya is in town for the weekend. She and Bella got along so well the last time she was here—" Bella covered her sudden snort with a cough into her hand and a bright smile at Charlie. "I know she's still recovering from the bear attack, but we'd really love it if she could come over tonight and have a little sleepover."

"Well, sure she can, she—wait, now, is Ed going to be there?"

"It _is _his house too," Rosalie said, licked her lips. "But he'll be _all_ the _way_ down the hall. Besides, we're all terribly old-fashioned."

Charlie mumbled something about old-fashioned meaning something different twenty years ago, but he couldn't refuse her wide-eyed gaze. "Okay, okay. You girls have a good time."

"Did you just want to flirt?" Alice said as they got back in the car.

Rosalie smirked and met Bella's gaze in the rearview mirror. "Not everything has to do with you, Bella."

Bella shuddered. She never wanted to think of her father as some sort of sexual pawn.

Jasper called a few minutes into the drive back to the woods to say that the meeting was over and Rosalie changed directions back to their house. For a moment, Bella felt guilty for not going to spend time with Jacob and was grateful to realize there was nowhere else she was supposed to be but with Edward.

Edward met them in the garage and helped Bella out of the backseat. "Hi," he said and kissed her. "I missed you." Rosalie scoffed as she passed by them and Edward called out, "He's fuming." That made her smile and skip towards the house. "Emmett's been very flirty with the Tanya, Kate, and Irina since they arrived. Irina walked into his room naked, pretending she thought it was the shower, so I don't really think she can blame him—"

This time Alice scoffed at him. Bella was sure Jasper hadn't looked at another woman since he'd first seen Alice. Actually, Bella wouldn't like Edward flirting any better if some incredibly hot girl was naked around him, either. She frowned at him. "He didn't _like_ it! Anyway, Rosalie's been insufferably jealous and she wanted to give Emmett a taste of it."

It took Bella a few seconds to catch up. "With my dad?"

Edward shrugged. "If it was anyone more reasonable, Emmett might have hurt the boy." He turned to her as they walked into the house and took both her hands in his. "What would you like to do before we track your scent around the forest?"

"Just be with you… actually—" She blushed and looked down at their entwined hands for confidence. "Would you—play the lullaby? I—last week, I kept thinking that I'd never hear it again."

"Oh, Bella." He lifted her into his arms until their faces were even and rubbed her nose with his. "I'll never stop playing it."

"I think that's unnecessary," she sighed and took a deep breath of his scent. "You do still need to save me from the villain."

"I suppose I would need to take a few breaks." From the way his gaze moved down her body, Bella didn't think it was because his hands would get tired.

Inside, she walked ahead of him to the piano and ran her fingers over the keys. He had given her a few lessons, but she was still terrified of the gorgeous craftsmanship of this instrument. Edward blew on her neck and said into her ear, "Do you want to play it?"

Pulling her hands away from the piano, she jumped, but there was nowhere to go but up against Edward. "Oh, no, I couldn't—"

"I'll help you." His voice was low, reverberating down to her bones. He put his fingertips on the inside of her elbow and moved down her arm, so softly, then matched her fingers up with his, then did the same on the other side. "Move with me, like our hands are glued together."

He pulled his hand up and she hurried to follow, then moved the other hand. They were dancing standing still until the symmetry was effortless. Guiding her lower body with his hips, he moved her into sitting on the piano bench. She could feel every inch of him around her, encased between his chest, his hips, his thighs. He moved her hands to the keyboard and he helped her play scales up and down experimentally.

It was incredible, as if the music was coming from him, coming from her, coming from some higher power. She closed her eyes as he started the lullaby.

"The lullaby is you, Bella." He kissed her throat. "I may have written it, but it never would have existed without you."

* * *

"Should I make myself bleed?" Bella said as they made the false trail through the forest. I was slow goings with her cast, but apparently that was only better for leaving her scent. She looked around the vicinity for something to cut herself with. She did it enough on accident, it should be easy to do on purpose. "That would make the trail stronger, right?"

"No!" he said. "The whole point of this expedition is so you _don't_ get hurt. Besides, it could well distract them too much, slow them down."

She tripped and broke open the thin scabs on her palms from the day before.

"You're impossible," Edward said, lifting her right ways and leaning her against a tree trunk. "I brought a first aid kit." He rinsed her wound in hydrogen peroxide, rubbed on ointment, put on bandages and kissed both palms.

"How are you okay doing that?"

"Not breathing." He helped her up and they started walking again. "And honestly wanting you to feel better more than I want to drink your blood."

"You are the strongest person I've ever known," she said, wrapping an arm around his waist.

He kissed her temple and laughed. "You're young. And the clumsiest person I've ever known."

Jacob was waiting at the clearing in wolf-form when they arrived.

"You are not carrying her like that," Edward said, not letting go of her hand. Jacob growled, but walked into the cover of the trees and phased back into human form. Satisfied, Edward gave her hand a goodbye squeeze and she walked toward Jacob. "I'll take the long way and meet you there."

Not meeting Edward's gaze or hers, Jacob nodded and replicated how Edward carried her, taking a painful hold of her wrist and thrusting his hips until her legs held tight to his body. Edward stared at her spread thighs, straddling Jacob, with tight eyes and mouth.

_I love you_, she mouthed from behind Jacobs shoulder. So close to his enhanced hearing, Jacob probably heard the sound of the _l_, but that was better then the words in whole, she hoped. Edward's mouth hinted at his crooked smile and he winked at her. Without warning, Jacob took off running.

After a few minutes of silence, Jacob stopped and abruptly swung her around to face him. His grip was even stronger then before and she was sure she'd have bruises now. His eyes softened at her wince, but he didn't relax.

"It's been one day," he said. "Is it really better with him?"

Bella sighed and forced herself to hold his gaze. "Yes," she said, then, trying to soften the blow, "It has been much better than lying."

He wouldn't let it go. "Is it better than before he got here? Better than last summer?"

_When you spent half your time practicing for a cause you hated and didn't understand and the other half talking about it?_ she thought and felt the strain of tears on her throat. They had never really gotten a chance together, had they? Things would have been so different in a world without vampires. The image of those three children waved from the side of her mind. And Edward was still, _still_ better. "Yes, Jacob. This is better. You can't ask me this every day for the rest of our lives."

"Yes I can." He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him.

"Please don't. The answer will always be _yes_." He moved to kiss her and she ducked as best she could. "Jacob, I'm _so_ sorry I'm hurting you. But this will only make it worse."

"No," he whispered into her hair.

"Come on, Jake. I have to go camping." He took a deep breath, then swung her on to his back again and continued onward.

Edward was pacing when they arrived and caught her in his arms before she touched the ground from letting go of Jacob. He glared at Jacob and forced himself to spit out, "Thank you."

"Are you staying?" Bella said to Jacob haltingly. She didn't want it to seem to be an invitation.

"No," Jacob said. "I'm going to meet the pack and send Seth up here."

He looked at her pleadingly – for what? To go with him now? She couldn't have done that if she had chosen him. He sighed and ran, phasing on the way, back into the woods.

Despite the cold air, Bella was sweating from the nearness to Jacob's skin, the tension of being so close to him. She wrapped her arms around Edward's waist and clasped her hands behind his back, took in his scent and calming coolness.

"I'm so sorry this is so hard on you, Bella," Edward said, and ran little kisses over her cheeks. "And—on him."

"Edward, please don't be selfless about this. I'm sorry for _you_," she said. "I wish I only loved you."

"I know the feeling, love, but I don't blame you and you need to stop blaming yourself for your emotions." He ran his hands through her hair. "Besides, I wouldn't want to change one little thing about you."

"Even my mortality?"

He inhaled sharply. "Tonight is not the right time to talk about this."

Seth came arrived then, pouting with his head hanging low, and paws, still too big for his body, like a puppy, taking short, dragging steps.

Bella tried to stifle a yawn. "Oh, you must be exhausted!" Edward said. "It's been a difficult twenty-four hours and you slept terribly last week. Come on, let me get you settled inside the tent."

"Mmm," Bella said, leaning on him.

Inside, there were fuzzy blue heating pads lining the walls, the floor, piled under the sleeping bag, tucked into the pillows. "They're all connected to a generator outside the tent. I didn't know how cold it would be tonight, but I decided I would only be satisfied if you were overheated." She grinned. "Hopefully you sleep right through the fight."

Frowning now, she said, "No, I want to know what's going on," and slid into he sleeping bag. Edward zipped it around her, then settled against the nearest tent wall.

"There's no way unless Seth wants to phase in and out to keep you up-to-date…" Seth glanced at them and exhaled incredulously. Edward smiled. "No, I didn't think so. But I'll give you a play-by-play when it's all over."

"Or you could stay here with me and—" He shook his head ruefully and she shrugged. It was a fleeting thought. "Exactly how many heating pads did you buy?"

"Fifty. I had to go to a warehouse in Olympia. Are you warm enough?" She would have been warmer with Jacob holding her, but she had no complaints. She smiled at Edward. "I wish I could hold you."

She squeezed a hand out of the sleeping bag and wiggled her finger at him. He reached out to her and they hooked thumbs.*

"It's too bad you're too glittery to settle in the southern hemisphere for a while. You would make an excellent bed companion in opposite conditions."

"We can have an excellent time sleeping together, anyway," he said, stretching out beside her until their eyes were level. "I guarantee it."

With the hand not connected to hers, Edward ran his fingertip around the edge of her hand, between each finger, over every curve. "I don't think you could ever appreciate how gorgeous your hand is." Her fingers were stubby, her palm small, nails bitten, ragged in some places, there was even a crust of dried blood over one cuticle. Compared to Edward's long, elegant index finger, it looked like a troll's hand.

"I bite my nails," she said, inadequately.

"Have you ever reached the quick and pulled the off the nail from where it's attached?"

Bella pointed to her ring finger. She had pulled if off the quick just the day before. "I don't, usually. I try not too. I was distracted when I did it to this one."

He took that finger in both his hands and pulled it up to his eye line. "Hmm," he said. "The skin is more red than usual, lots of white blood cells underneath, but no blood. No break in the skin. That's good."

He painstakingly covered his teeth with his lips and put her finger in his mouth. First just the tip, running his tongue over the nail, then the rest of it, sucking it up slowly. Charlie had once taken her ice fishing in Canada with him. She'd slipped and her arm had dropped down in the water to the elbow. The feeling in Edward's mouth was very similar, but watching him do it was so sexy, she couldn't help but love it.

"It prickles," she said. "And it's—actually getting kind of warm now."

He pulled her finger out of his mouth and wrapped it in a heating pad.

"That's a sign of frostbite." She gasped, but he grinned to show her he was joking. "I'd never give you frostbite." His gaze became serious and he said, "I have something for you." Bella could see his hand move in the pocket of his pants, handling something. "I'm sorry—" He pursed his lips and she laughed, waiting for him to continue. "I'm sorry that you can't wear it. It was ostentatious when it was made and now, it's—but I want you to have it."

Edward pulled a red velvet ring box from his pocket. Was he proposing? She stared at his open hand, eyes wide. She couldn't breathe. "Oh!" he said. "It's not a proposal, not at all. Just a pointless gift. I have a_noth_er ring for—" He cleared his throat.

She exhaled in a laugh and shook out her tense shoulders, then took the box from him. Inside was a stunning ring, one fat diamond surrounded by little rubies on a gold band.

"Take it out," he whispered. She took the ring between two fingers and noticed an inscription carved into the inside of the band. She brought it close to her face to read, mon coeur est tout à toi. garde le bien pour moi.

"What does it mean?" After three years of high school French, all she could definitely make out was _heart _and _me._

"It was commissioned by the first Earl Spencer for his wife in the 1750s," he said instead of answering. "Esme found it at an auction many years ago and gave it to me. Carlisle called it my dowry. Does it fit?" Bella tried it on her left ring finger. It fit snugly. Edward took a deep breath. "It means, 'My heart is yours. Keep it well.'"

She cupped his cheek in her hand. The ring looked especially ridiculous against her bright red fingertips, her torn up nails, but Edward looked glowingly pleased to have her wear it. "At least I can keep something of yours safe while you risk yourself for me."

"It's really not a risk, Bella, I promise you. We're barely outnumbered and Emmett probably won't let _me_ get two of the newborns at once."

"Will—will you watch over Jacob?"

Frowning, Edward nodded and tucked her back underneath the sleeping bag. "Of course I will. But he was built for this, you know? We're all going to be fine."

"I still see him like he was when I first fell in love with him—"

Edward nodded. "Skinny as a rail, full of piss and vinegar, energy that's not going to hold up against big, scary vampires—"

"Exactly," she said and yawned.

"I remember him like that, waiting for you to come back from James. That's just not how it _is_, anymore. At least in physical combat, the wolves are without equal."

"Except for you," she said, pressing her face into her heated pillow. She was beginning to feel very drowsy now.

He kissed her nose. "If I'm not here when you wake up, I'm at the fight—" was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep.

When she woke up, he wasn't there. She was sweating in the in the sleeping bag and she twisted her upper body out of the flannel stranglehold, sat up, and looked around. What time was it? She noticed a subtle glow in the darkness – Edward left his cell phone. The little analog clock read five o'clock. The fight could have been going on for an hour, it could have just started, or anywhere in between. Had she woken up because Edward left?

She crawled to the opening of the tent and pulled open the Velcro. It was very dark outside the tent, but suddenly, Bella knew something was coming towards her. It glinted orange for a moment in the moonlight and, although she had no idea what the vampire plotting her death looked like, she knew: Victoria. She was _here_, less than ten feet away from her, not in the clearing.

Was she alone? There were the sounds of scuffling, growling and thumping, near the edge of the rock landing and, squinting, Bella could make out the forms of Seth, long, light brown limbs against a muscular male vampire – glinting blond, she could see as he moved. There was no one else, as far as she could tell. She was thankful for that, at least. Seth could probably take the newborn while Victoria was killing Bella and then run. No one else had to die.

"Do you know what my original plan was, Bella?" Victoria purred. Her voice gave Bella an image of a cheerleader hunting her, somehow much more frightening than what she'd been imagining.

She was moving very slowly towards her. She was planning on stretching this out as thin and painful as possible. "I was going to follow Edward's scent. I thought wherever he was, you would be. But then Edward was there in the clearing. He didn't even care enough to stay with you. I suppose I overestimated his feelings for you. Too bad. I might have to kill him to make my point after all."

"No!" Bella whispered, as if she had any control in this situation.

"Bella… does it make you feel more _beautiful_ to go by that name? I can see why you would need the encouragement. You could not have kept Edward for long… I'm really saving you from a lot of pain… makes me want to wait a little longer."

She was a foot from Bella now. Crouching down in front of Bella, she ran her fingernails down Bella's cheek very lightly and laughed. "C'est la guerre."

There was a growl. Bella wondered that Victoria sounded so much like the wolves when Jacob jumped on Victoria and slammed her on the ground a few feet from Bella. It could have been any of the wolves, she supposed, but she didn't doubt her instinct. A few seconds later, another body joined Jacob and Victoria – Seth, she realized. The rest of the area was quiet and still. The blond was nothing but scattered pieces she could just barely make out across the ground.

Bella fell backwards into the tent in relief. Taking a shuddering breath, her limbs relaxed. There was obviously no chance of Victoria getting the upper hand again. She was safe.

Should she start a fire? Her movement might just make Victoria more crazy, she decided, and she wouldn't be able to make out burnable pieces of wood, anyway. It felt ridiculous to just sit and watch the shadows of Jacob and Seth tearing Victoria apart.

Already shivering, Bella jumped when red curls rolled toward her. One step ahead again, Jacob was there before Victoria's head could reach her and he kicked it back to where Seth was finishing her off. He phased back into human form and crashed into Bella, pulling her against his ample chest and lap and wrapping her in his arms. He was blessedly warm, even as he trembled in time with her.

"Oh, Bella—" he whispered. "Cullen—Edward saw Victoria at the end of the group, saw her run, but he was ambushed and then I _lost_ her because I wanted to get her before she got to you, but then I just ran here and she—she almost—"

"Hey, hey," she said, pulling away from his iron grip to see his eyes. He ran his calloused fingertips over the lines of her face and then he was leaning towards her.

She didn't want to kiss him, but his skin was so smooth and warm, he was so close and—movement took her gaze away from Jacob and there was Edward, somehow brighter than everything else in the rocky area. "Edward," she whispered and moved her face away from Jacob's, just in time for his kiss to land on her shoulder, through her down jacket.

"I'll just—" Edward said and looked out at the forest. "I'll build a fire—"

"Edward!" she said louder and squeezed away from Jacob. He looked at her, his eyes wide and sad and she leaped on him. Behind her, Jacob was whimpering, but Edward's pain was more important, had to be. "I love you," she said and kissed him. "I love you so much."

He gasped out a laugh. "Oh, I love you, too. I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes, everyone's fine," he said.

He kissed her once more, then quickly went to work gathering all the body parts and ordering Seth to gather dry pine needles, leaves and wood. Jacob helped without a word, his shoulders low, his movements almost sluggish. Once a fire was blazing, Seth ran away.

Watching after him, Edward said, "Jacob, go to La Push,"

"Why?" Jacob was pouting, staring at her with the most painful expression imaginable. It was making her joints ache to not go to him. But it wasn't her place to take care of him any more. It was only going to make cutting out the romance between them harder, like forcing it apart with a fork.

"Paul is hurt." Jacob stood up, pushing his shoulders back and hardening his gaze. He could be such a responsible adult, but only when he wanted to be. "A newborn was hiding and sneak-attacked Embry."

"Of course. Oh, Paul—" Jacob winced. "Okay. Bella, I love you."

"I love you, too." That would always be true.

"I'll see you—" Instead of finishing his words, he ran to the edge of the clearing and phased, not once turning back as he headed west back to the reservation.

"Why did Jacob say 'of course?'" She nuzzled her face into Edward's chest.

"Paul is in love with Embry," Edward sighed.

Bella blinked. It took a few seconds to make meaning from the words in that order. "_What_?"

"For all his temper, Paul very careful with the more delicate of human emotions. He's been almost hiding it from the pack, from himself, even. It exploded when a newborn child jumped on Embry."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He's going to recover physically, but…"

"Embry doesn't feel the same way?"

"Well, that's a funny thing. He's been feeling attraction to almost everyone in the pack – only in human form, thankful for him – along with girls at school, Victoria's Secret models, Abercrombie and Fitch models, you name it. He's convinced himself that it's just raging sixteen-year-old hormones, but… well, Quil only wants the girls and Paul only wants the guys. What Embry wants right now is what he'll always want."

"So, he's bisexual, but he doesn't realize it?"

"Yes. That doesn't quite add up to a happily ever after for him and Paul, but it might—" Edward shrugged and winced. "Well—"

"It might draw out the process painfully?"

"I think that's a guarantee, actually." He lifted her up from under her arms and settled her on his hip. She wrapped her legs around him for balance and he caught her cast to help her. He was holding her much like a father held his four-year-old, but Bella didn't mind. She felt protected by him. "Come on," he said and she rolled her eyes at him. Like she had much choice now. He grinned and slowly curved his head around, licked the curve of her ear. "Let's go join up with the rest of them."

She hid her face in the curve of his shoulder as he ran, nervous again by the change in position, but of course not even a leaf brushed her back.

Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper were standing in a circle talking, right when they entered the clearing. Alice smiled widely when Bella came into view and hugged her tightly – probably not very tightly, considering the extent of her strength. The clearing was bright behind them – the fire was enormous. Tanya, Irina, and Kate were facing the fire, their backs to Bella, Carmen and Eleazar sitting on the other side. It took Bella a moment to realize there was someone else there.

When Edward had said "child" when describing the attack earlier, Bella thought he was refereeing to a teenager, as he frequently referred to her and her friends at school. That was not the case. The boy sitting by the fire might not have been in school yet. Redheaded, freckled, and plump, he must have looked much like he had as a human, making his brilliant red eyes all the more startling and sad when he looked at her. This had to be the missing child of the murdered couple she'd read about in the paper. He had been through the terrible pain of transformation, killed his parents, and been lost in Seattle for a week before being attacked by werewolves. No wonder Carlisle had offered him surrender. Esme stood a few feet behind the boy, watching him with her arms hugging her chest, one hand over her mouth.

Edward sighed. "Carlisle should have killed the child quickly. Our kind have a tortured history with vampire children."

"But he's so young and sweet—"

"Yes, irresistible. With ferocious urges and no mature self control. He's outrageously dangerous."

The boy whimpered and leaped at Bella. Eleazar grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. Gasping, the boy struggled against the hold, looking like he would start crying at any moment. Of course, he couldn't. He didn't have any tears to cry. Bella understood the danger then. She wanted to offer her throat to the child if it would stop his suffering.

"You have to fight it," Carlisle said, taking the boy's round face in his hands and forcing him to meet his gaze. "You don't want to hurt her."

"Didn't want to hurt Papa," he agreed, his eyes wide.

"I know you didn't," Carlisle said, his voice unbearably kind. "You have to fight it. Like a superhero."

"Like Batman?" the boy said.

"You're just like Batman, buddy," Emmett said, crouching down beside Carlisle.

Bella's own sob caught her off guard. The scene was too horrible. Victoria's plot to kill Bella was nothing compared to what she'd done to this little boy. Edward wrapped a hand around her neck and pulled her toward him. She buried her face under his arm. Instead of the body odor a human body would have produced with the exertion of the evening, Edward's incredible aroma was just stronger there and she breathed it in for comfort.

Edward looked around suddenly. "How far could I get you—? Jasper!"

"Oh no," Alice whispered.

"Fantastic timing, Alice," Edward hissed. "Your _pre_cognition gives us so much time to _pre_pare!"

"Edward!" Jasper said, stalking towards them. "That's not helpful. We can't take her anywhere. A trail of human scent would just put them on a defensive chase. Get in the back of the group."

As if it was choreographed, the vampires reorganized, putting a guard around Edward and Bella, Emmett holding the boy in check, perhaps a little protectively behind himself, Carlisle set to greet whoever was coming, the Denali in front to confuse them. What was going on? Were there more to the army?

"Welcome, Jane," Carlisle said.

Bella squinted to see a child appear out of the darkness of the woods, flanked by two large men on either side. As she neared the firelight and her features became slightly more visible, Bella realized she was not a child, not exactly. She was a vampire, cherubically stunning, her presence ancient and cruel. In cloaks, the hoods pulled high around their faces, this group of five looked more like her old image of vampires than anyone else she'd seen.

"It's all over," the girl said, mournfully. She stepped forward, away from her shield and dramatically looked behind Carlisle. "Oh! Except for one. Why, you were even younger than I was." Her voice was sugary sweet, but she threw a terrifyingly hard gaze to Carlisle. "What's your name?"

The boy stopped squirming in Emmett's hold to get to Bella's blood and looked at Jane. "G-George," he whispered.

"What happened tonight, George?"

"Riley told us we had to fight or else, but I didn't—didn't want to, 'cause they're all like me now, but then I 'membered the lady, with red hair, too, but not like Mamma, and how she was so mean and I thought I had to, so I jumped on the big horse and then she—" He looked at Esme and smiled a little. "—took me up and ran 'way."

"How many were you?"

George stared at her, terrified, his mouth moving silently. Jane's eyes narrowed slightly and then George was crying, pulling himself into the fetal position on the ground.

"He doesn't know how to count!" Esme shouted. Her eyes widened, and she took a few steps backwards, into Carlisle's protective embrace.

Jane relaxed and smiled slightly at Esme. "You're probably right."

"There were thirty," Kate said, stepping in front of Jane.

Jane's gaze turned slowly to Kate. "And why aren't all thirty in the fire?"

_Because he's a child!_ Bella wanted to scream at her. There was a moment of silence among the vampires, letting those silent words hang in the air before anyone spoke. Edward wrapped his arm all the way around Bella's waist, so he could tuck his hand in his own jeans pocket. She hid her face in his chest.

"He surrendered," Carlisle said. "I gave him the option."

"That was not yours to give, Carlisle," Jane said. "Especially in this case."

"He's only been a vampire for four days," Esme said. "There's no way to know how many he's killed—"

"Or how many any of them killed, Esme," Jane said. "Besides which, it's not the death toll that's a problem, it's the disregard for the indispensable rules of our kind."

"He didn't know the rules."

"That's not my fault."

"It's not his either."

"Someone has to take the blame—"

"Someone already has. Their maker is dead."

"Perhaps, then, I don't need a reason to kill one who displeased the Volturi. Need I remind you, Esme, that _you_, unlike the rules, are not indispensible."

Carlisle put his hands on Esme's arms and turned her around. She pressed her face against him, fisted her hands in the lapels of his jacket. "Do what you want with the child, Jane."

"You're too kind to give your _permission_, Carlisle."

For a moment, Bella was terrified she was going to attack Carlisle and Esme both. From the way he stiffened, she was sure Edward was nervous, too. Jane stared at Carlisle for some long moments, then smiled.

She took a few steps towards George, then stopped. Bella couldn't make out her expression in the darkness – dare she hope for an attack of conscience? "Demetri, take young George into the woods and—" Her breath caught. "No. Take him home. Alec will help you. You and the boy will leave now." Bella swallowed rapidly, trying to silence bubbling sobs.

One of her hooded protection came towards George. Clearly not understanding what was going to happen to him, George smiled hesitantly at the man. He stared at Emmett and Emmett stared back, then finally let go of the boy and stalked to Rosalie. She took his hand just as Demetri took one of George's hands and led him into the woods. George's chubby legs skipped to keep up with them.

Distracted by watching them leave, Bella didn't noticed Jane calmly making her way through the maze of the other vampires until she was standing in front of Edward.

"Why is there a human with you?"

"She—is my partner."

"Edward," she crooned. "She cannot be your partner because she is not one of us. You know well that the law dictates that we must not tell any human of our existence. It would seem there is a threat to dispose of after all."

Edward said, "Jane—" but Bella barely heard him as the Jane caught her gaze and stared. The little rosebud mouth frowned. "She is unaffected." She blinked rapidly, looking around, then steadied a glare on Bella. "How can she be unaffected?"

"She is a very special human," Edward said, his voice almost calm. Jane turned her head to him and he collapsed to the ground beside Bella. She gasped and moved to touch him, but she didn't want to cause him any more pain. Trembling faintly, he cringed into his arm. What was happening to him? Why wasn't anyone doing anything! Bella looked back at Jane, still gazing at Edward and smiling just slightly.

"Stop it!" she shrieked, helplessly. Despite her knowledge that Jane could cause her much pain with her hands, if not her mind, Bella moved to lunge forward and stop her. It would be worth death to stop Edward's pain. Closest to Bella, Emmett reached his hand around her waist and held her in place. "Please, stop…" Her tears froze as they dripped down her throat.

After what felt like hours, Jane finally looked away from Edward. With one delicate raised eyebrow, she smirked at Bella. Edward stood unsteadily, and took Bella's hand in his. She squeezed back.

"I believe Aro would be very disappointed if she was destroyed," Edward said softly.

"Do you plan to give her immortality?"

Edward didn't speak. Well, shit.

"I do." Bella watched, open-mouthed, as Tanya came towards them from the front of the group.

Tanya slid in between Jane and Bella, over a foot taller than the other vampire, her flashing yellow eyes just as menacing as Jane's red. "As a courtesy, I recommend you do not even look at this girl again. Your business here is finished."

Jane's gaze passed over Bella's head and locked on Edward. "The masters will want you to come Volterra. Expect an—_invitation_ very soon."

Edward nodded. Jane blurred back through the group and her guard smoothly followed her.

"Thank you, Tanya," Edward said into the sudden silence of the clearing. Bella could only stare at her.

"You complete him." Tanya smiled at her, achingly beautiful and kind. "As long as you accept that and stay by his side, you are part of my family and under my protection."

*"There have been five great kisses since 1642 b.c. when Saul and Delilah Korn's inadvertent discovery swept across Western civilization. (Before then couples hooked thumbs.)" –_The Princess Bride_, p. 58.

2) About the ring: I read _Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire_ (Amanda Foreman, Random House 1998. Highly recommended if you're interested in British history or biography, also a recently-released movie with Keira Knightley and the glorious Dominic Cooper) right before I read _Twilight _for the first time. Near the beginning, there's a throwaway detail that Georgiana's father gave this ring to her mother. I thought the sentiment was gorgeous, wanted to use the phrase, if not the ring, in some of my own writing, and then Edward says the exact same thing in _Eclipse _(p. 99). I thought it was right to use it in this. A few Google searches tell me that the ring isn't famous, so there's really no reason Esme shouldn't have found it at an auction.

3) About the Paul/Embry: my natural fanfiction habitat is slash (m/m), but Bella/Edward is just too sweet and perfect in Twilight, so outpoured this near 80,000 words of het. And I loved it. But there are homosexuals in Forks. I swear there are. And Breaking Dawn kind of made it impossible for werewolves to be gay because they imprint on the person that will give them the best babies, and Paul's imprinted, but whatever. This is an AU. I wrote it before BD. Paul loves Embry. Haha!


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